.... for president.

Evil Jamie! · Post by **Evil Jamie!** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 3:16 am

I fully endorse not killing puppies, unless they are the pets of those who do not vote for me.

Heffaloop · Post by **Heffaloop** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 3:38 am

Vote Heffa.

Or I'll eat your brains.

(Just filling in the token female candidate position)

Mr.Bob · Post by **Mr.Bob** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 3:40 am

You gotta admit, she makes a good point.

Evil Jamie! · Post by **Evil Jamie!** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 3:41 am

I have no brains, so I'm fine.

Mecharm · Post by **Mecharm** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 4:28 am

orion wrote:
mecharm wrote:Oh, but violence isn't necesarry! I recent violence greatly.
I want to live in a peacefull society, and if I become president, I will make an army to help the forum a hand in becoming such an Utopia.
If there will be no violence then why build an army? what would you have them fight with, puppies? do you know how many puppies would die if you used them as weapons. You sick, sick person.

I on the other hand and upfront and honest about the bloodshed I will cause and I do solemnly swear that no puppies shall be used as weapons either projectile or melee.

Orion:
He will bring swift death to our enemies.
but not the puppies (won't someone please think of the puppies?)

Oh, I can make quite sure that there will be no innocent creatures killed nor hurt. This army will only go after those that oppose to this (and anyone getting in the way). Terrorists.
But, if a puppy is a terrorist I can not promise it will not be captured. Then again, I am here for the people, not for myself, and if those people (you) want puppies to have complete freedom, I shall give them complete freedom. My only concern are the Keenspacers.

Sortelli · Post by **Sortelli** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 7:31 am

brockway wrote:Sortelli!

"Its all about the cybersex!"

I accept this nomination, and I unveil my positions on the issues that matter to the people!

Economy: I hate Bush
Social Issues: I hate Bush
Censorship: I hate Bush
Abortion: I hate Bush
Foreign Policy: I hate Bush
Same-sex marriage: I hate Bush
Gerrymandering: I hate Bush
PooperScooper Laws: I hate Bush
Strategic Missile Defense: I hate Bush
Stem Cell Research: I hate Bush

As you can see, I bring a well-rounded and reasonable voice that is unique in American political debate. Seeing as Bush is the central figure to my policy and why people who hate Bush should vote for me, I am naming Bush as my pick for Vice President for the Keenspace General Forum so that I can continue to blame everything on him for the next four years.

Mecharm · Post by **Mecharm** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 7:57 am

Shit... Sortelli's campaign's quality exceeds mine.

Sortelli, I have a proposition. If you will quit now, I shall garantee you a high rank in my new world. That way, even if you loose, you won't be just some low politician.
How about it?

Sortelli · Post by **Sortelli** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 8:04 am

Considering that I announced my canidacy mere hours after Saddam has been captured ALIVE, my Massive Failure campaign is TOTALLY SCREWED.

So, it's a deal.

Mecharm · Post by **Mecharm** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 8:07 am

Great!
Come to my office as soon as I won the election and we'll work things out.

Doo doo doo... and another bites the dust. Deedum doo doo doo, and another bites the dust. And another one down, another one down, another one bites the dust-a.

Sortelli · Post by **Sortelli** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 8:16 am

Sure. Um... Why has a guilotine been installed in your office?

Ratbert · Post by **Ratbert** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 8:52 am

You'd be crazy

not to vote for me!

Orion · Post by **Orion** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 9:40 am

I see my opponents have been plotting and making deals while I was sleeping. And now M.E. Charm claims she will go after terrorist puppies. There are no terrorist puppies your making up enemies so people will stand behind you. You seem to think that you can make everyone afraid of the puppies then herd them all into prison death camps and be a hero. Well I stand up for truth and for justice, I do not claim that my world will be an easy one, many of you will die and often for vague and whimsical reasons. But that is my right, nay my duty!

And think how happy would you be with a utopia anyway, all that peace everywhere. You know you people need violence, if you don't have your terminator movies or your video games you'd go and hunt down puppies just like my opponent wants you too.

And just look at her avatar and wonder which really represents M.E. Charm's true nature: the soon-to be destroyed human who can't even defend themselves let alone a forum, or the ravenous mutant tentacle beast intent on killing and/or raping us all.
do you want either of those as your president.

vote for me

damn you pictureyou will be executed if you do not work

Sortelli · Post by **Sortelli** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 9:46 am

Lord Wootsayediditagyn, member of the Tentacle Monster Anti-Defamation League, expressed his fury at the blatantly anti-tentacle monster remarks made by GD canidate orion. "It's time to put an end to the divisiveness and the polarizing tactics of the evil baby-eating orion. M.E. Charm is a symbol of cooperation between Tentacled Americans and Humanoid Playthings. His avatar represents the hope that someday little humanoid boys and girls can share carrots with cthuloid slime beasts," Lord Woot said angrily.

Orion · Post by **Orion** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 9:57 am

I too have that dream, the hope that demonic tentacles and humans will be joined in harmony. But I say that they must make the first step, humans must have assurances that their life and innocence are not threatened. But I am willing to extend an appendage in friendship to our cepholopoidic brethren. As a peace offering I will offer a tribute of 1 of my minions a month to the noble tentacle beings.

To those who doubt my qualifications, I have vast political skill: I was the vice president of my dungeons and dragons club. And I watch the daily show every day.

Orion · Post by **Orion** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 10:24 am

And as personal apology to the honorable Lord Wootsayediditagyn, I offer him a fully functional Britney Spears robot clone, should I be elected.

MariaAndMichelle · Post by **MariaAndMichelle** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 1:25 pm

Sortelli wrote: Economy: I hate Bush
Social Issues: I hate Bush
Censorship: I hate Bush
Abortion: I hate Bush
Foreign Policy: I hate Bush
Same-sex marriage: I hate Bush
Gerrymandering: I hate Bush
PooperScooper Laws: I hate Bush
Strategic Missile Defense: I hate Bush
Stem Cell Research: I hate Bush

Keffria · Post by **Keffria** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 1:29 pm

That's why, as your president, I will be the Official Scapegoat. You can blame everything wrong with the General Discussion country on me.

Oh, and I will personally assassinate everyone whom we even suspect is connected to VileTerror.

Orion · Post by **Orion** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 1:43 pm

Keffria wrote:That's why, as your president, I will be the Official Scapegoat. You can blame everything wrong with the General Discussion country on me.

Well, how about you give me your support then I give you a cabinet position as official scapegoat. Its win-win, I have someone to blame problems on and you...wait...hmmm. I don't know maybe I can give you a cookie or something. Or maybe I could appoint you mayor, how would you like to be mayor of the free association thread?

Warren · Post by **Warren** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 3:38 pm

I'll endorse whomever offers me a cabinet position of "redhead inspector".

YarpsDat · Post by **YarpsDat** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 4:17 pm

Well, there was a lot of talk about puppies...

Dear forumgoers, I just have one thing to say:

think about cute kittens:

and vote for me.

Thank you.