Webcomic above 25: Don't live the ressurection

For discussions, announcements, non-technical questions and anything else comics-related or otherwise that doesn't fit in any of the other categories.

Postby Keffria on Thu May 13, 2004 12:19 pm

RLC Davidson wrote:A very lenient review...


Thanks!

You know, I really hate that prologue. If it wasn't against the Unwritten Law of Webcomics, I think I'd redo it, compressing it into ten or twelve pages instead of I-don't-know-how-many, or just get rid of it altogether. Actually, it's one of the reasons I don't ask for a lot of critiques - whenever I ask someone "hey, want to review my comic?", they just dwell on the crappiness of the first chapter.
User avatar
Keffria
The Wimpy Teaching Assistant (Mod)
The Wimpy Teaching Assistant (Mod)
 
Posts: 3749
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2003 12:07 pm
Location: not-France

Postby Grayswandir on Thu May 13, 2004 3:23 pm

I don't mean to be a bug, but could someone review mine? I've been wanting to see what people think of the new layout and stuff.

I just have one problem, I tried doing that black and white thing that was suggested to me to make the pages clearer and their file size smaller. But it increased their file size 10 fold and made them look like crap. So I wasn't able to fix that sorry, I have been changing the levels and contrast though, so they are easier to read now. I think its either the program or the scanner...
Image
Tank'd-Clogging the gutter and loving it...
I love children, I just can't eat a whole one.
User avatar
Grayswandir
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 335
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2004 1:10 pm
Location: running rampant in the bowels of human stupidity...

Postby Tim on Thu May 13, 2004 10:14 pm

OK, I think I'll try my hand at this and review Tank'd. Be with you shortly.

EDIT:
Tank'd by Grayswandir/Ben Maish

Story: This is a young comic, so it's hard to say much besides this is the story of a pair of assassins-for-hire, a tempermental woman named May and a wise-cracking skeleton named Harry. It took me a couple readings through the archives to get a sense of what was going on - mainly due to the fact that there just hasn't been enough room for plot development so far. The jokes that have made up the story so far, though, have been entertaining.

Art: While the art has its own unique style, the reader can definitely pick up on the the anime/manga influences. The pen-only and hastily-scanned art gives a kind of gritty, noir quality to the comic. If this is not the intended effect, then some more tweaking of inking and Photoshop is needed. But then, I'm not one to just too harshly on art (something about glass houses).

Layout: I didn't get to see the "old" layout, so I can't really say how they compare. But you've got the comic right up front, with all the news and stuff underneath, so it all works. Not sure if I'd pick green for the newsbox, though...but hey, at least it grabs your attention. Also I noticed the update schedule (or lack thereof). I know that pesky thing called real life can get in the way, but it may be a good idea to try and work toward regular consistant updates.

Impressions: I liked the cockroach character...it'll be fun to see more of him in the future. I like how Harry is able to smoke without lungs. Really do much of anything, really, without organs. I think you have a good premise, you seem to have a good idea where you're going...if you continue to work at it and improve, I don't see any reason why this won't be a successful comic!

Overall: B
Image
Alternate Delusions - Symbiotically Enhanced for Your Pleasure
A member of Comic Ostrich
User avatar
Tim
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 3281
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 10:42 pm
Location: State of WA, formerly MA

Postby Grayswandir on Fri May 14, 2004 7:06 am

Thanks for the review Tim!

The green is actually supposed to be grey. But, Internet Explorer has some coding thing that Microsoft hasn't updated...ever. So, Internet Exploder doesn't show it correctly. :)

*thinks for a bit* I'll see what I can do about giving The Cockroach more appearances (You hear that?! I get more appearances!! Oh yeah!! Booyah!! Who's your dadd-- *CRUNCH*)
;)

Again, thanks for the review!
Image
Tank'd-Clogging the gutter and loving it...
I love children, I just can't eat a whole one.
User avatar
Grayswandir
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 335
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2004 1:10 pm
Location: running rampant in the bowels of human stupidity...

Postby McDuffies on Fri May 21, 2004 4:41 pm

If I calculated correctly, we have on logs:
Honour's requiem
Sawdust
Alternate delusions.

I pick Alternate delusions, give me two days.
User avatar
McDuffies
Bob was here (Moderator)
Bob was here (Moderator)
 
Posts: 29959
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Serbia

Postby JexKerome on Sun May 23, 2004 3:42 am

Sawdust, by J.P. Sloan

Story: This is the story of Jim Collie, an engineer desperate enough to accept working at a dismal place called Hackler Mill. He's suppossedly there to automate the milling processes, but what with a 'Nam veteran that kills vermin with nailguns, an incompetent boss, indian-possessed pizza hats, colombian entrepeneurs, aliens, vampires and bixesual sorority twenty-somethings, it seems he'll never get the job done.

Art: Simple and not-quite-there; it stays the same pretty much throughout the entire run of the comic, so one can claim it has its own style, and it actually grows on you after a while. Coloring is done with simple grayscales, and the dialogue uses a nice font that's actually readable.

Humour: A sitcom about an engineer coping with a mill gone horribly wrong, Sawdust is Dilbert without the snotty in-jokes. The absurdities Jim runs into while on his quest to automate the mill are gold. There are also some fake newspaper stories scattered here and there, presumably fillers, which are hilarious. The overall feeling is that of the Seinfeld crew running the Home Improvement TV show, Newman included. Yes, it's that absurd and chaotic. Yes, it's that good. What's scary is that J.P. claims to base some of the strip's stories on true events. That's, like, whoa.


The site: Clean and simply done, with the trimmings matching the subject matter, as it should. Just two snags I noticed:

First, the files are too big, sometimes exceeding the 100kb. Death to 56kers. Also, their width seems to vary a lot.

Second, in the archives, while the main nav buttons are were they should, the secondary nav buttons (Home, email, etc.) are on the right side. Coupled with the unusual width sizes of some comics, these buttons disappear entirely. In fact, I was unaware they were there until I hit the first narrow strip. Maybe a fram would be useful here.

Overall: A very good comic in a somewhat substandard package. Once you get past these negligible faults, though, you hit gold. I give it overall :lol: :lol: :lol:
Last edited by JexKerome on Mon May 24, 2004 11:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Faith is what credulity becomes when it finally achieves escape velocity from the constraints of terrestrial discourse- reasonableness, internal coherence, civility, and candor. Thus, the men who commited the atrocities of September 11 were neither cowards nor lunatics of any sort, but Men of Faith- perfect faith- and this, it must finally be acknowleged, is a terrible thing to be.
JexKerome
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 2531
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 5:02 pm

Postby McDuffies on Sun May 23, 2004 5:32 am

Alternate delusions
Well, I must say, one of the most pleasant surprises I've read recently.
Surprise, because, addmitedly, comic doesn't look like much at the first view.
Alternate delusions is a comic packed with some of the most interesting, funny and original ideas. From the very beginning it's putting those ideas in front of you, you're amused but also you wanna see what's gonna happen next.
You're introducing new ideas and characters very easily, in a form of classic webcomic which maybe doesn't apply well-written internal monologues or hard-aching dilemmas of main characters, but it doesn't need them to make a good story.

As for art, well, that's definitely weaker point of the comic. In fact, comic is not visually attractive at all, which is sad because readers who will skip this comic, are missing on great stuff.
First, you got a basic hold of anatomy, and it's ok. I had a problem to pass his specific way of drawing eyes, but that's his style, I guess.
The bigger problem is, the composition of the panel is always the same.Characters are always shown in similar positions, even later when much more dynamic events occure. You won't see characters shown in profile, or even from back, silling or laying, close cuts are very rare. In other words, art is everything but dynamic.
It doesn't help that more than half of the panel is always devoted to speech bubbles. In my opinion, this is big aesthetic flaw. Characters seem so small compared to speech bubbles, or even panel sizes.
In later comics, you made it better but it doesn't seem like continual progress, rather like occational leap from your routine. In other words, you don't seem to be artistically improving.

Which is bad. I would really like to see your art being a match to your script one day.
This way, Alternate Delusions is an example of that popular myth of webcomics - bad art, with script full of fresh ideas that makes up for art.
User avatar
McDuffies
Bob was here (Moderator)
Bob was here (Moderator)
 
Posts: 29959
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Serbia

Postby Jops on Sun May 23, 2004 5:37 am

Honour's requiem
by RLC Davison

Honour's requiem is a sci-fi comic that has a bit of conspiracy and mystery feeling i particularly like. The story has a good introduction, that takes the characters already in some action, but so far, there ain't much more.

The art ain't too bad, but it needs some work: hands sometimes look too small and I suggest to add more shading and lighting effects to give a better 3d feeling. I noticed you did that a bit in the first pages, you should keep it. Even in the for non-colour pages, try to add some shadows and lights.
A real pity is the "pixelated" look of the lineart. You should try hard to make it smoother RLC. That really looks bad!
Then, a positive point goes for the attempt at often taking cool views and angles of the spaceships. Again, try to improve your lighting effects and they'll look great.

The site design is simple but really looks cool. I've found some broken links or missing pages, but, since the comic is brand new, i think that's due to the site being still under construction.
Jops

Image Image
User avatar
Jops
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1951
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2003 9:55 am
Location: Zzyzx Rd.

Postby JPSloan on Sun May 23, 2004 11:21 am

JexKerome wrote:Sawdust, by J.P. Sloan

Overall: A very good comic in a somewhat substandard package. Once you get past these negligible faults, though, you hit gold. I give it overall :lol: :lol: :lol:


Thanks for the review (my first, actually)!

I'm looking into revamping the archives page to be more like the front page, and I'll be shooting a thread onto the Tips and Techniques forum to see how to get those files smaller.
Ancient relic of a by-gone era.
User avatar
JPSloan
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1407
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Germantown, MD

Postby Phalanx on Sun May 23, 2004 2:25 pm

I'll do McDuffies. Give me a mo.

Okie, all done.

Comic: McDuffies ( http://mcduffies.keenspace.com )
By: Srdjan Achimovich
Genre and Setting: Present-day, Real-Life, Humour
Art Style: Simplistic, B/W, inks
Is about: The antics and lives of the employees of a (crappy) student fast-food joint.

First Impressions and presentation: B
The website, with its brightly vertically striped backgrounds seems rather odd, until you realise that the whole thing is designed to emulate a fast-food menu. Very clever! The navigation menu is also laid out the same way, with the site navigation treated as items on the menu. Comic is on front page, just needs a little scrolling down on a small screen.

The Concept: A
If I had to summarize the entire comic in one word, it'd be "Original". The story revolves around Tommy, Gordon and Rebecca (and later on a few other new employees like Smiley and Jessie) who work at the local knock-off-of-McDonalds fast-food joint called McDuffies. Run by a nutter of a boss who really ought to pay more attention to his business, it's working in McDuffies is mayhem! When not working, there's plenty of drama in college and home, but my favourite parts are still the scenes set within McDuffies itself.

By the way, big doesn't even begin to describe the size of the McDuffies archive. Try colossal and seems-like-never-ending. For the love of god, don't try reading it on a dial-up.


The Art: B-
When I first saw McDuffies, the art didn't impress me much. It seemed a little too rough and unpolished for my liking.

It's not that Srdjan can't draw, he can, and pretty well after his style too. And the simple style does go with the comic. Plus he does understand the concept of the economy of line, so one up on him.

But the problem is, comics rely a lot on art to pull in readers, and I think if on the first look if McDuffies' art fails to impress, most probably the readers will never give it a try and find out...

The Writing: A (would have been A+ if not for the problems)
...is goodness itself. McDuffies swings between drama and humour. More of humour in the beginning, but more drama towards the end.

I've said that McDuffies is extremely original, and here it shows. The jokes are fresh and a lot of them unique. The dialogue is witty, or at least, would have been even wittier if it wasn't for some translation mistakes (more on this later).

Many of the storylines are just classic, and every now and then McDuffies pulls out a twist to surprise us readers and break the predictibily most comics tend to fall into. McDuffies does not.

As it is, the characters are crazy yet believable, the stories are hilarious or engrossing (although they require a certain suspension of disbelief sometimes, but all in good fun) and kept me laughing hard throughout most of the read.


Problems:
English probably not being Srdjan's first language, translation problems sometimes leave you scratching your head in bewilderment and missing the joke, while the numerous mispellings and grammar mistakes annoy spelling/grammar nazis like yours truly ;)

There are sometimes fillers in the archives which may be a little annoying, but generally McDuffies runs smoothly.


Overall: B+
McDuffies is such a fun and refreshing read I do wonder why it's isn't more popular than it is. Maybe the art and translation problems are in part responsible for this, but it made me feel like fast food, just for the novelty of wondering if the server is going to hand me a net and tell me to catch my burger as it flies in from the kitchen!

If you're someone who need flashy eye-candy in your comics, you might not find McDuffies to your liking. But want something different and funny, and most importantly, Original? Read McDuffies.


ps: To the next person reviewing, unless you have a Graphic Smash subscription, or already have the Jaded downloaded, do http://hntrac.keenspace.com or http://thejaded.keenspace.com/longestso ... ead/1.html instead.

If you do the latter, please stop when you get to the rough pencils part. I'm still working on those.
Last edited by Phalanx on Mon May 24, 2004 2:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
Image
The Jaded - Action. Adventure. Danger. For Hire.
Lonely Panel - Explore. Travel. Comics.
User avatar
Phalanx
The Establishment (Moderator)
The Establishment (Moderator)
 
Posts: 3737
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2003 11:46 am
Location: Superglued to the forum by Yeahduff

Postby DEVO-Bot on Sun May 23, 2004 2:52 pm

Errr... I'll get in on this one of these days. Who's up next? Is it SDXF? If it is, I call that. Gimme one or two days, I think.
<KensouX> DEVO-Bot spouts out the mad phrases, tweekin' your brain harder than 35 cocaine cases.
[url=http://orbvs.keenspace.com]Image

Now Alive Again[/url]
User avatar
DEVO-Bot
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 874
Joined: Wed Oct 15, 2003 1:41 pm
Location: College, CA

Postby Tim on Sun May 23, 2004 9:58 pm

Thank you McDuffies! :D

I'm sitting here, coming up with explinations or excuses, but that isn't the nature of the thread. I'll just say, you've given me a bit to think about. But it is appreciated.

I'd like to hear what other people think too, of course, but I'm not going to derail the order of the reviews. (There's been plenty of that already, it seems ;))
Image
Alternate Delusions - Symbiotically Enhanced for Your Pleasure
A member of Comic Ostrich
User avatar
Tim
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 3281
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 10:42 pm
Location: State of WA, formerly MA

Postby JexKerome on Sun May 23, 2004 11:42 pm

Tim, I must say I LOVE the Yu-gi-Oh! parody you did with my all-time favorite card game, Mille Bournes. I laughed out loud, and when I showed it to my brothers they did, too. But forget that frenchie, though, the player to beat at Milles Bourne is yours truly, even if you get the four safeties in the first turn.
Faith is what credulity becomes when it finally achieves escape velocity from the constraints of terrestrial discourse- reasonableness, internal coherence, civility, and candor. Thus, the men who commited the atrocities of September 11 were neither cowards nor lunatics of any sort, but Men of Faith- perfect faith- and this, it must finally be acknowleged, is a terrible thing to be.
JexKerome
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 2531
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 5:02 pm

Postby Phalanx on Mon May 24, 2004 4:31 am

Okie, I did McDuffies (See above)

Our list is now:

1)
Teo and Sara

2)
How Not To Run A Comic
OR
The Longest Sojourn
OR
The Jaded (GS subscription though)

3)
ORBVS (waiting for Devo to finish SDXF)
Image
The Jaded - Action. Adventure. Danger. For Hire.
Lonely Panel - Explore. Travel. Comics.
User avatar
Phalanx
The Establishment (Moderator)
The Establishment (Moderator)
 
Posts: 3737
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2003 11:46 am
Location: Superglued to the forum by Yeahduff

Postby Asarea on Mon May 24, 2004 5:03 am

Mhhh gonna try Teo & Sara ... :) *so this is a filler message*

Phalanx, did you read my review of The Jaded already? :)

EDIT: There it is. My review. *ta-daaah*

Comic: Teo & Sara (http://teoandsara.keenspace.com)
Artist: Jorge Hernandez

Storyline:
There are four chapters of story now and over all I had fun with reading them. It starts as the normal sports manga story with introduction of the main characters, the first step in the illustration of the (broken) relationship between Teo and Sara, and soon gets closer to the target. Teo, the likable 'hero' has a problem - after some time he meets Sara, the girl he loves, again, after she had moved away for years, but their reunion ends with a slap in his face by Sara because of something he had done to her and caused the end of their romance. Even in chapter four the reader is not told what exactly happened - and I'm now really curious about it ^^ - flashbacks show their attitude and love towards each other, warmly set in scene by the artist.

But there's always a second girl - Sandra - who wants to have Teo, and he's stuck between his feelings for Sara and Sandras wish to date him. Up to now the other characters have their evolution, too - Pedro, Teos friend and chief of the Flaming Balls volleyball club, has his little teasings with Karla, the girl Sara lives at, and also a good volleyball player - oh well. Teo & Sara make a good reader, there are enough unsolved questions to stay by the comic and read on. A solid A to me, it fits well into its genre.

Art:
Manga - that's obvious. ;) Done in greyscale, I have the slight feeling the artist tries to vary more, the background style seems to be a bit more detailed and with more experiments in chapter four now. The volleyball action shots are extremely nice done, and your characters seem to be very persistant and are recognizeable at any panel. Sometimes there seem to be problems with the anatomy of hands and legs, the proportions are a bit messy, but this improves from the third chapter on.

Main problem even for manga style are the chins - most of the talking persons don't seem to have some, and even if I like manga, this is too less and looks a bit strange most of the time. This improves also, a good sign you get into your style and your characters. Give more room to different angles during conversations and it would be just great. Sometimes you use the normal 'linen' or 'brick wall' filters for backgrounds, and this is something I think you should'nt do - with some handwork and the multiply tool on photoshop you could do much better structures than those crappy filters.
If this chin problem is solved too, this would be a solid B+, you definitely have the talent and room for improvement in your style.

Site:
Wuah. This design hurts. Sorry. Light blue background, greyscale comic, and light grey-white-black buttons, dark blue line for the news headline. Sounds not that bad, but the devil always waits in the details - your starter page wastes much space, you have to scroll insanely down to get the news (for that most of the readers won't read them because they're too lazy to scroll down), and the position of your newsbox and chapter/genre dropdown is not ideal. Why don't you work with tables? Even if you're not the HTML freak this is easily done with self-HTML or a professional editor like Dreamweaver. All picture pages need a heavy scroll down, and this could be avoided by a bit more centralization of your panels.

The thing hurting me is not the coloring - your site just lack any ground design formed by font, color and graphics. The graphics look chiselled, expecially on your head graphic with the comic title and those volley balls. And that's a pity, 'cause I think some more attractive design is what helps to have your readers stick to your comic. You use the normal newbie page design from keenspace - this 'advertisement, comics name, authors name, update frequency, page, news/other content' style and this doesn't look professional. Maybe you take some time to visit Phalanx' guide to fresh up the design for webpages or you look around on the comic pages you like to ask the artists how they did their HTML concepts? This is something I did as I started my first webpages some years ago and it helped a lot :)
Now the page design is a C to me.

Overall: Overall I want to come back - for the story and the wish to see the artists style improving. Site design isn't something anybody is into and so this doesn't count for me in the overall analysis. If you like storys with longe-time evolving relationships and sports, read it. This has no naked persons or anything hentai in it, so you kinky guys, surf to Ghastlys comic *g* and leave Teo & Sara to the last romantic beings on earth ... :P
Last edited by Asarea on Mon May 24, 2004 5:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
My DA-Gallery - some art stuff
User avatar
Asarea
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 718
Joined: Fri Dec 26, 2003 12:53 pm
Location: Outta space

Postby Van Douchebag on Mon May 24, 2004 5:24 am

(Ha ha ha, I've stolen Phalanx's template!)

Comic: How to Not Run a Comic ( http://hownottorunacomic.keenspace.com/ )
By: Various
Genre and Setting: Satire
Art Style: Various
Is about: The common mistakes made by webcomic artists

First Impressions and presentation: B+
I was intimidated straight off the fly on this one. I thought to myself that I'd soon see my comic blown by HTRAC's satires. I was so paranoid about it I contacted War to have him look at the first two pages of White Hydra. Of course, after a while I lost my fear, and with garlic and crucifix clutched in hand I carefully browsed through the archive. The site could stand to be a little flashier, but it's no biggy

The Concept: A+
Intentionally bad webcomics? I'm there! By being a group that criticizes and admonishes users and webcomics for doing predictable and stupid things in their webcomics, HTRAC is a terror for anyone who dares to write a bad plot or draw on lined paper. The last thing you want to see is a satire on it that reminds you of your own comic.


The Art: B-
Because anyone can submit to HTRAC, there is a lot of bad (Usually intentionally) art in it's archives. Sometimes there's a gem in there, or a comic satire that perfectly matches the art, but usually it's just eyesores.

The Writing: A+
Once again, intentionally bad webcomics followed by criticism. HTRAC shows people the fatal errors they make and often propose solutions on top of that, so I'm really reviewing the criticisms and not the actual comics.


Problems:
Once again, since anyone can submit you get a variety of art and satires. Unfortunately, the majority of these become repetitive after a while and seeing the same satires being replayed by different artists over and over and over again can be very very boring.


Overall: A
If you're making a webcomic, HTRAC is a must-read. It'll tell you everything you need to know on how to not run a comic. I know I read the archives a couple times before I started White Hydra just to make sure I didn't break any cliches they presented.
Image
User avatar
Van Douchebag
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1324
Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2004 6:25 pm
Location: The Televizzle

Postby Phalanx on Mon May 24, 2004 5:31 am

Asarea wrote:Phalanx, did you read my review of The Jaded already? :)


Oh yes I did! I had exams that time so I didn't get around to replying, but thanks! I loved how you went over everything without giving anything away :)

Van wrote:I was intimidated straight off the fly on this one. I thought to myself that I'd soon see my comic blown by HTRAC's satires. I was so paranoid about it I contacted War to have him look at the first two pages of White Hydra. Of course, after a while I lost my fear, and with garlic and crucifix clutched in hand I carefully browsed through the archive. The site could stand to be a little flashier, but it's no biggy


Drat. I've been working on that new site design... but it's hard to find one that won't be screwed up by a non-resized comic images.
Image
The Jaded - Action. Adventure. Danger. For Hire.
Lonely Panel - Explore. Travel. Comics.
User avatar
Phalanx
The Establishment (Moderator)
The Establishment (Moderator)
 
Posts: 3737
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2003 11:46 am
Location: Superglued to the forum by Yeahduff

Postby Van Douchebag on Mon May 24, 2004 5:42 am

Really? I've been working on a new site design too.



....they found me crying in the corner. I hate html.
Image
User avatar
Van Douchebag
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1324
Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2004 6:25 pm
Location: The Televizzle

Postby McDuffies on Mon May 24, 2004 7:29 am

Eh, I love being rewieved. Thanks, Phalanx.
Can I rewiev Jaded now, based on pre-graphic smash material?

Tim wrote:I'm sitting here, coming up with explinations or excuses, but that isn't the nature of the thread. I'll just say, you've given me a bit to think about. But it is appreciated.

I'd like to hear what other people think too, of course, but I'm not going to derail the order of the reviews. (There's been plenty of that already, it seems ;))

Funny thing is, I got very similar comments on mcDuffies from Phalanx as you did from me.
Though I'm certainly not making mcDuffies any more eye-flashy, editorial decision. :P

was intimidated straight off the fly on this one. I thought to myself that I'd soon see my comic blown by HTRAC's satires. I was so paranoid about it I contacted War to have him look at the first two pages of White Hydra.

Why such pressure? I'm sure we all have in archives places that are knocked off by HNTRAC. Very true comment about repetitiveness.
User avatar
McDuffies
Bob was here (Moderator)
Bob was here (Moderator)
 
Posts: 29959
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Serbia

Postby Phalanx on Mon May 24, 2004 7:47 am

mcDuffies wrote:Eh, I love being rewieved. Thanks, Phalanx.
Can I rewiev Jaded now, based on pre-graphic smash material?


I'd love it! I don't expect a lot of The Jaded reviews nowadays. But Van already reviewed HNTRAC, so my turn is over...

Of course! I know!

I call White Hydra! I've been wanting to review WH for a while anyway. :D

Aaand done!

Comic: White Hydra ( http://whitehydra.keenspace.com )
By: Miguel Caron
Genre and Setting: Fantasy, Humour, Satire, Adventure
Art Style: Heavily stylized cartoony, Thick ink lines, Cell-shaded colour.
Is about: The heroine, Samara's quest of vengeance (to kill a lich who simply refuses to die)

First Impressions and presentation: A
The site design looks impressive and funky, and stands out by a mile. It fits quite well with the comic style too.
IMHO there are too many merchandise, donate and vote buttons for a comic this young (barely over a month) for my liking, but I suspect that in a few months they'll be warranted their existence anyway.

The Concept: B
It's the usual 'vengeance for my slain father' kind of deal. Normally we'd all give a giant groan at this and leg it in the opposite direction, but Miguel turns to clever satire for this and manages to inject some fresh life into what is an otherwise done-to-death theme.

The Art: A++
The art for White Hydra is in one word, Exceptional.

It's a heavily stylized and simplified art style, somewhat reminiscent of Cartoon Network's Samurai Jack or Powerpuff Girls with its thick black lines, bright colours and elegant simplicity. The result is stunning in its distinctiveness, and is bound to attract attention before long.

Even if the writing for White Hydra turned out to be crappy, I'll wager he'll still have followers, just for the sake of the art. It's that good.


The Writing: A- (Provisional, as there really isn't enough of the story to be really able to tell yet )
The writing seems pretty good, starting off with a dramatic yet hilarious flashback of Samara's child years and then to the present where a grown-up Samara searches for a way to kill the lich who murdered her father. The story kind of moves on from there, following both the start of the adventures for Samara and also of the antics of the bumbling evil lich.

The jokes are fairly funny, althought they're more of the chuckle-heh-heh kind of funny as opposed to the laugh-until-it-hurts kind.

IMHO, The humour does sometimes derail the storyline though. Sometimes to crack a punchline, the comic seems to deviate a little from the story, which results in a momentary confusion when we get back to the story again. But this is just a minor fault, and nothing really noticable.

All in all, what I see of it so far is slightly run-of-the-mill, but entertaining, slapstick humour.


Problems:
The flow of the story is a bit slow, but no doubt will speed up soon.

There's a filler in the archive to celebrate the 1 month anniversary(!). I'm of the opinion fillers do not belong in archives, and most of all not in the middle of the story; that's what art galleries are for ;) So :( for that.

The last one is minor, simply there just isn't enough of the comic out yet for me to be able to give it a really through review.


Overall: A
A gem of rare quality for those of you who like humour comics and well-done art. Even if those of you who like serious story comics might want to give this one a try.

With the yummy art and and very passable writing, The White Hydra has everything required to make it as a webcomic. I'll wager Miguel Caron is going to find himself getting a lot of attention from other quarters soon, providing he keeps on as he's going. Let's just hope he does :)

Keep an eye on this one, folks.





McDuffies called my review, so I think the next in line are:

1) ORBVS (Pending review of SDXF by Devo-bot)
2) Night and Day (Pending review of Teo and Sara by Asarea)
3) McDuffies (Pending review of The Jaded by McDuffies)
Image
The Jaded - Action. Adventure. Danger. For Hire.
Lonely Panel - Explore. Travel. Comics.
User avatar
Phalanx
The Establishment (Moderator)
The Establishment (Moderator)
 
Posts: 3737
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2003 11:46 am
Location: Superglued to the forum by Yeahduff

PreviousNext

 

Return to General Discussion



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron