World's Worst Pickups...

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 5:59 am

The only pickup line I've ever actually used was,

"Hi, my name's Ryan. What's yours?"

Nanda · Post by **Nanda** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 6:11 am

I've never been picked up, I'm always the aggressor. Shocking, I know.

Robin Pierce · Post by **Robin Pierce** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:16 am

One of my best friends is extremely fond of
"Hi! Wanna fuck?.... no??... Well then! Rape it is! *goes for the belt* "

Zanzarra · Post by **Zanzarra** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:25 am

hm...

"Are you naturally beautiful?" -- so lame!

or

"Ok, my friend and I were thinking for about half an hour how to talk you two up, so why fdon't you make it easier by just coming over?"

I have to admit I was very drunk at this time.

Cortland · Post by **Cortland** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:37 am

This happened to a coworker at a previous job. I got to overhear her half of the conversation.

A male customer called up about the status on his order and started in on a long conversation with my female coworker. They got to talking--my coworker was mostly trying to be polite--and this guy happened to mention that his mother had recently passed away. My coworker commented that her father had recently passed away as well. They continued talking and my coworker happened to mention her husband. The guy, who revealed then that he was unmarried, said something to the extent of, "Dang. Another one down."

He called back a few minutes later and asked, "Is your mom seeing anybody yet?"

MixedMyth · Post by **MixedMyth** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:46 am

Oooh. I actually just thought of one I got a week or two ago. It has to be in context, though. I'm at the bus stop waiting for the bus, and this guy comes up to me asks for change for bus fare, then and askes if my Mixed Myth shirt is some kind of racial commentary (I mean, yeah it does address some racial issues, but not quite in the way he meant). After a short, puzzled, and very uneasy conversation, he pops out with, "Do you have a boyfriend?" Not the worst, but it was the creep factor that made it bad.

Ly · Post by Ly » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:55 am

That 'do you have a boyfriend' reminds me of highschool. In German class there was this kid who liked me and so he actually passed me a note to ask if I was single and would like to go out with him (in English). I couldn't believe how middld-school that was, so I replied in what I believed to be easy to understand German and passed it back. He took one look at it and went "So... uh... is that a yes or a no?" (Smacks self on forehead)

And my senior year, a guy in one of my classes (a sophmore) was bound and determined to get me to go on a date. For at least 2 weeks, every day he would walk up to me and say 'So, when's our date?'

CJBurgandy · Post by **CJBurgandy** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 8:25 am

I had a great deflect once. When I worked at the computer store, I had dark, dark red hair. There was also a male cashier that who was a natural red-head. I had this costumer, that was constantly trying to pick me up. For some reason, wearing pride pins, and jewelery, and a button that said "I love to plug and Play" had no effect on his brain. One day he comes up to the customer service desk when I finally had a moment of no customers. He said "I had a complaint... but red-heads distract me." I looked over at Kevin (red-head cashier, who happened to actually be picking his nose at that moment in time) and back at the customer and said "I'm sorry sir, I'll tell Kevin to knock it off." He looked at Kevin got really flustered and just left. He didn't hit on me for a few months after that. (this guy was in the store at least once a week, but normally 3 or 4 times a week)

IVstudios · Post by **IVstudios** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 9:16 am

"Giggidy, giggidy, giggidy"

[geoduck] · Post by **[geoduck]** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:00 am

Disturbing amount of people appear to use "Wanna fuck?".. I'd heard of one as well..

Since Whose Line was mentioned...

"As of now, I'm rash-free!"

And of course, the classic scene from WKRP..

JENNIFER: Hi, guys.
ANDY: Oh, what's your sign?
VENUS: You live around here, mama?
JOHNNY: Lookin' for a little action, sugar?
JENNIFER: Well, Les, don't you have an opening line?
LES: Hi. I'm extremely wealthy.

Col · Post by **Col** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:02 am

The line I used on my wife consisted of, "So are you that girl my friend told me about?"

Smooth, I know. 8)

Nyke · Post by **Nyke** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:21 am

"..."

Yeah, I don't get out much. Damn Social Anxiety Disorder.

Warren · Post by **Warren** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:27 am

"...No, I'm not doing anything tonight. Why do you ask?"

ManyWorlds · Post by **ManyWorlds** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 12:13 pm

DarkMagician wrote:"..."

Given the levels of my social life, that about sums it up for me personally.
One of the worst I've heard: "If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?"

Toxic · Post by **Toxic** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 12:14 pm

From Birdie: "Your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas. Want to get together between the holidays?"

Disclaimer: I never use cheesy pickup lines, or pickup lines at all, because I am not into superficial conversation like that. So, yeah.

Nutcracker · Post by **Nutcracker** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 1:59 pm

Nobody wants to pick me up

Only guys like this

Anywherebuthere · Post by **Anywherebuthere** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 2:09 pm

Awe, Nut, I'ld pick you up...but right now with a bum hip and a spastic back I'ld probibly drop you.

Soup Goblin · Post by **Soup Goblin** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 3:23 pm

"Did you know there's over 200 bones in the human body?" Pause for reply, then conclude with: "Would you like another?"

I actually used to jokingly say this one to my friends all the time when I was in highschool...

ManyWorlds · Post by **ManyWorlds** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 3:35 pm

Soup Goblin wrote:"Did you know there's over 200 bones in the human body?" Pause for reply, then conclude with: "Would you like another?"

That is such a Quagmire line...

awesomenes...

Mo · Post by Mo » Mon Sep 26, 2005 3:45 pm

Let's see... Can't remember the exact words, but there was this time in Berlin, years ago, I was on my way to the subway, when a guy walks up to me from behind and asks me what time it was. Turns out he had a watch of his own, and then he explained that he thought I looked nice from behind and that's why he wanted to meet me. :?
Luckily, I was in a hurry to get to the subway. Creeeepy.

Huh, I've actually been spared for the really stupid pick-up lines, but that's probably because I avoid the places where guys actually use them. And also, I don't always *get* pickup lines when they're used on me.

A cute one: Once I was at a convention where everybody wore badges from different countries. When the convention was over, lots of people traded their badges with people from other countries just for fun. I *so* wanted to have one of the Russian badges because of the cool letters. Then, my friends and I happened to meet a group of Dutch conventionists on the street and we got to talking. One of the Dutch guys asked me whether I wanted to trade my badge with his. (Don't remember his exact words.) Anyway. ALL MY FRIENDS realized he was hitting on me... I didn't, and answered by saying that I really wanted a Russian badge. He replied that he would try to get one for me, but I told him not to bother and... eh, that was it. I didn't understand that any hitting on was involved, and we walked away.

Later that day, my friends explained to me what had happened out there, and they didn't understand how I could've been so oblivious. I even kinda thought he was cute, but I seem to have a blind spot for guys who flirt with me. <_< But, scarily enough, after I'd returned home to Norway, I actually managed to track him down and get his phone number. Don't ask me how... Stalker secret. We had a short and painless email relationship until we realized we weren't meant to be together. End of story. =3

This must be my longest text-only post so far. And it wasn't even on-topic for the most.