RATED NC-17! Before you view.


Wow. I super appreciate all of your constructive crits! ^^ I'll have to tell the author to lighten up on her shadding jobs. I never did like how she shadded the hair but I never argued because she's the author, and the last thing I want to do is get in a fight when this is going so well. loltwentyfour wrote:Just skimmin through before I eat my lunch.
You have some good pencil skills but I think you may need to vary up the pencils you use. All of the artwork feels like it was done with the same pencil and the characters details(and even the characters themselves) get lost in the mess of grey. Not to say you aren't talented, it's just that I'm losing the good details to the rough shading work.
The hair seems to be the most distracting the female character's(you'll have to forgive me, I don't have time to run through the entire archives before the pizza is cooked)hair is darker, but her hair seems to be drawn with individual strokes that in the end looks either 'okay'(top of page for Aug. 15th) to a distracting solid coloured mess(bottom of page for Aug. 15th). I really feel you could avoid all of that inconsistancy with just drawing the key points of the hair(outline, hairline, and extra details that are required to maintain the personality of the hair) and then some quick even shading(keep the shaind in the same direction otherwise it will look like a haystack, or you are trying to give the impression of a flow to the hair, if you wish to give that impression pay strict attentionto the direction of the shading then)
There are some anatomical issues that jumped out at me when I was skimming. The update for Aug. 8th stood out right away, the left hand is backwards(looks like a right hand in that position), honest mistake but something to keep an eye out for. July 18th, top of the page, the forehead is enormous compared to the ones used in the rest of the page. I think you were trying to show his head tilted forward(?) but the features shouldn't slide down the face like that(again, honest mistake, just make sure you learn from it)
Overall I can't say I'd keep reading after this point. The style didn't catch me and half of what I saw was fan art. I will say I believe you have some real talent but the artistic medium is obscuring it a bit. I highly recommend either getting an electric sharpener and using it constantly(they sound annoying as all hell but I learned to love em cleaning up animation) or switch to mechanical pencils for a bit to help you learn to vary your pressure(I do that every few months just to keep my skills up).
Good luck with your artwork and keep your pencil sharp!
Well thank you very much. ^^ I'm glad you like that feature. That's one of my pet peeves when going through one of my fav webcomics, when they only have the next, prev, etc buttons on the top, so you have to scroll back up to go to the next one, or visa versa.pylon wrote:This isn't really related to your comic per se, but I kinda like your webpage layout. It was easy to navigate, and I really like the fact you put the first, last, next, etc buttons at the top and bottom.