I have a special stalker girlfriend.

Kingofthemorlocks · Post by **Kingofthemorlocks** » Tue Sep 14, 2004 2:12 pm

Okay, out of the blue this freshmen girl, Sara, asked me out the other day. Tall, blonde, somewhat anemic-looking, large blue-gray eyes. Super-cute and so sugary-sweet that every kiss feels like an alluring invitation to go into diabetic shock. Last night she called me on the phone and talked my ear off for an hour and a half. In school today she slipped me a note. Unfolded, it was a drawing of a heart with the words, "BILL, I LOVE YOU. LOVE, SARA" on it. Then she called again half an hour ago. She couldn't talk long so she said she'd call me back.

Closer she creeps, closer until she's right outside the window watching me shower...*shudder*

I'm sure, ultimately, she thinks I'm one of those seniors who has money and a car. When she finds out I have neither, she'll (hopefully) lose interest...Though I think it might be an interesting game to see how I can corrupt her, and then leave her shamed and cursing my name for years to come...because, see, you've got to have weekly goals for yourself.

Wilmo · Post by **Wilmo** » Tue Sep 14, 2004 2:29 pm

Dude, all I can say is this... Tread lightly

Steel Roses · Post by **Steel Roses** » Tue Sep 14, 2004 3:09 pm

Ah, highschool love, is there anything in this world more filled with more meaningless garbage and endless frustration than it, i doubt. Wilmo is right though, tread lightly, very lightly. And as far as corrupting her horribly, you might want to think really hard about that before you do anything, since highschool loves explode just as quickly as they are made, and twice as unexpectedly. Especialy if your 18, and she isn't. It may very well be safer to save yourself the trouble, and throw her back unharmed, if you intend to throw her back anyway.

Cuteswan · Post by **Cuteswan** » Tue Sep 14, 2004 3:17 pm

If you want to get rid of her, have her over for dinner and then invite her to "come upstairs and see my hentai collection." She might just run away, screaming, and never even look at you again.

If she's into it then keep her, dude!

Seriously, though, don't jerk her around or anything. A psycho with a grudge can inflict a tremendous amount of pain on you without blinking, and you may never fully recover.

Let's hope that she's only a normally-excitable young lady and, with your mature and caring example, she will quickly get over the initial rush.

Kingofthemorlocks · Post by **Kingofthemorlocks** » Tue Sep 14, 2004 3:27 pm

Today she called me, referred to me as "her Prince" and played "Let it Be" on her piano with the receiver resting above it. No, I think I have to let her down easy.

Kingofthemorlocks · Post by **Kingofthemorlocks** » Tue Sep 14, 2004 4:14 pm

She just called again. She asked if I knew whether or not seniors could take freshmen to the prom. Oho! Her true motives seem to be revealed...

Meteo · Post by **Meteo** » Tue Sep 14, 2004 4:48 pm

Sounds creepy... she's diving into this head first isn't she.

Ghastly · Post by **Ghastly** » Tue Sep 14, 2004 5:37 pm

Geeze, and the school year has just started. This would be easier if it was almost over and you were going to be buggering off to college next year but if you fuck this up too bad you'll have to deal with the consequences for the rest of the school year.

Sounds like a sweet kid though. She's probably just a little love starved. I'd take it easy on her.

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Tue Sep 14, 2004 5:42 pm

I'm going to desent from the rest of the group here. I belive it is your sacred duty to open this girls tender young eyes to all that's good and wiggly in the world. Let the teachings of the tentacle guide you my son!

Of course, I only say this cause I never got any attention in high school....

Toawa · Post by **Toawa** » Tue Sep 14, 2004 6:20 pm

As a student of human nature (well, kinda... and by "kinda", I mean "not"), I would point out there there is a subtle but important difference between "psycho" in the "Weird Tastes, Weird Ideas, Weird Views" sense (that is, people like us) and "psycho" in the "Obsessive, could turn lethal if scorned." sense. The latter is generally best avoided, unless one is well trained in self defense, or well armed, or both.

It is crucial that you ascertain which one would describe this person is, and act accordingly.

And remember the age difference! Iffn you're 18 and she's not, I'd suggest ending it before it (whatever it is) can begin; so as to avoid any hint of impropriety. Idealism against class and age boundries is nice, but sometimes pragmatism is called for; especially if the youth in question might be "unstable," but in a bad way.

I agree with the general sentament. "Tread lightly." Of course, I've been known to be paranoid and fiercely survivalistic. Here, have some salt.

Irish Witch · Post by **Irish Witch** » Tue Sep 14, 2004 11:04 pm

Nobody's noted the point that: If underage and you screw her without intending for a steady relationship than, not only may you be faced with court action - but also the possibility of paying her welfare in the unexpected event.

On top. Don't just throw her away. Mention light-heartedly that she's almost coming accross like a stalker and she might calm down. Most likely she's just overexcited that a Senior is paying attention to her. Your probably one of the few boys who have!

Kingofthemorlocks · Post by **Kingofthemorlocks** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 1:22 pm

No, no, IW. She asked me out, not the other way around. And it's over now. She called, and I let her down as gently as I could, and she said, "Well now I'm dateless again. Bye." She's probably going to say some mean things about me for a few days, but she's a freshmen. Who does she know besides other freshmen? Her last statement proves she was more interested simply in having a date than who she was dating.

And her personal hygiene was kind of...lacking...as in, she's got more hair in her armpits than I do.

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 1:34 pm

Ewww.. French Style arm pits.. that's a deal breaker if there ever was one.

Course, I like my women hairless below the nose, so I am a bit bias.

H-Kat · Post by **H-Kat** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 1:34 pm

Wait 'till you see the hair above her penis.

-Kitty

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 1:40 pm

H-Kat wrote:Wait 'till you see the hair above her penis.

-Kitty

Awwww! H-Kat! That's so sweet! You went there!
Here and I thought KOTM was going to get off light!

You're the best!

Kingofthemorlocks · Post by **Kingofthemorlocks** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 2:43 pm

She and her thirteen-year-old best friend have left a couple "threatmantic" messages on our machine. "I'm not done with you yet Bill, I'll see you at school tomorrow!" that sort of thing. It's funny in a way...she had her 8th grade friend call me and try and convince me to go out with Sara again. They told me I shouldn't hold Sara's youth and immaturity against her, because she, the 13-year old, had dated a sixteen-year old for six months and 25 days, and as such, knew everything there is to know about dating, and how Sara has never had a real boyfriend and how she said so much about how wonderful I am...gimme a break.

I wish I was that stupid and knew everything again. No, really, I don't. The cynicism that began to develop in 10th grade is preferable, I think.

Steel Roses · Post by **Steel Roses** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 6:14 pm

The undefinably vast wisdom and world experience that is had only by the age group of 13 to whatever [usually 15-19] is something always intereting. The sooner that comes smashing to the ground, the better it will be for all of us, and we will all thank you for crushing that outlook now instead of letting it exist a moment longer. How sad it must be for those teenagers to have the puzzle of life already complete at such a young age, and have nothing else to accomplish in the field of learning, yet somehow they manage still to account for such a high volume of the worst decisions when looked upon by anybody who has already left that area of utter brilliance. Quite certain we can all look back on our teen years, and have little else to say than how completely clueless of the world we all were. Case in point, the sixteen year old who has been dating for six months and thus knows what is to be known about the given subject. Its a wonder the rest of us unknowing fools manage to get out of bed in the morning....

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 6:48 pm

Oh KOTM.. this could be a golden oppertunity for you!
Just think.. you could show her exactly what a gentleman acts like on a date, be kind, curtious, sweet, and then bring her home and show her some of Ghastly's finest!

RantinAn · Post by **RantinAn** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 7:40 pm

oh dear god.

Squiddy i might be forced to kill you now.

Fire Storm · Post by **Fire Storm** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 9:07 pm

I agree with squiddy. Twist her fragile little mind while it is most pliable!