My penis

Captain Laserpants · Post by **Captain Laserpants** » Wed Nov 06, 2002 7:01 pm

Ok... first I would like to say hello to all you Underground people out there, even though the only people reading this are Jeff and Matt..well, possibly Erin too. Anyway, if there is anyone ELSE out there, I just want to take this chance to talk about something....my penis. Being a boy, I have a penis. It is a very nice penis. I have heard many people remark on it. In fact, some girls think its so great that that's all they associate me with. They even call me "dick" because it has made that much of an impression on them. They always yell at me, "HEY DICK!!!" I would like to take this time to invite you to meet and greet my penis. If you are ever in the Austin area, just contact Jeff and he can supply you with the info needed to meet my penis.

Blak_joker · Post by **Blak_joker** » Wed Nov 06, 2002 7:07 pm

so, would you say that your penis has amazing growth potential? and does it have a first name, to the tune of the oscar myer song? These are serious questions that greatly affect the future of, well, everyone. So please, respond with your thoughts and feelings on Adam's Penis. Or talk about the comic, whatever works, we're open minded here. Hell, we have a storyline about Jesus with a boy, how could we not be? Enjoy!

Gyro · Post by **Gyro** » Wed Nov 06, 2002 7:13 pm

My god, we've turned into a dating service for single horny males.
Well, if that's the case....1-800-Greek-Pirate-Pizza-And-Porno service.
'nuff said.[/b]

Captain Laserpants · Post by **Captain Laserpants** » Wed Nov 06, 2002 7:16 pm

Ah...further info on the penis is needed, i see... well, My penis has a first name, its P-E-N-I-S...My panis has a second name, its..... P-E-N-I-S..? My penis is a Cancer that enjoys long walks on the beach, holding hands, and cuddling up next to a nice fire. He's currently looking for a nice place where he can go to relax...really release his inner spirit...ummm...Im going to stop before this gets toooo bad...

remember, adam's penis=good!

Blak_joker · Post by **Blak_joker** » Wed Nov 06, 2002 7:17 pm

heh, doing an online cartoon about Jesus and high schoolers to get chicks, who'd a thunk it? And I gotta know, not for personal use, but out of curiosity, does that pizza & porn service deliver pizza and tapes of pornography, or are they just pizza delivery persons like you see in pornos that get down with the people they deliver the pizza to?

Blak_joker · Post by **Blak_joker** » Wed Nov 06, 2002 7:19 pm

are you sure adam's penis doesn't=absolute evil? Cos it's quite possible that it's the root of all the world's problems. Makes sense to me. You know, your penis is probably going to become a running gag on the forum, if you're lucky

though I don't know how lucky you'd be for your penis to constantly be involved in jokes....

Gyro · Post by **Gyro** » Wed Nov 06, 2002 7:20 pm

Wait! What the FUCK is a panis? And why do you want to burn it in the fire? Sounds painful.

Gyro · Post by **Gyro** » Wed Nov 06, 2002 7:58 pm

Further edification on the pizza and porn service:
First off, we have a motto. "Pizza and Porn: Where the Pizza Isn't The Only Thing To Get Eaten!" This is fairly self-explanatory. You can order pizza with some hot sex and a side of foot long, knotted breadsticks. Now, maybe the pizza isn't exactly Dominos. And maybe the breadsticks are a little stale. And maybe the chick is a little new to her gender. But you'll always get service with a smile, a wink, and a fuck. And really...isn't that what life is all about?

LadyBlak · Post by **LadyBlak** » Sat Nov 16, 2002 10:41 pm

Gyro wrote:Further edification on the pizza and porn service:
First off, we have a motto. "Pizza and Porn: Where the Pizza Isn't The Only Thing To Get Eaten!" This is fairly self-explanatory. You can order pizza with some hot sex and a side of foot long, knotted breadsticks. Now, maybe the pizza isn't exactly Dominos. And maybe the breadsticks are a little stale. And maybe the chick is a little new to her gender. But you'll always get service with a smile, a wink, and a fuck. And really...isn't that what life is all about?

D'ya know, I just spent the evening thinking how wonderful it was to have intelligent, intelligible friends. And then I come into the forum, and look what it gets me. Nothing but pain and suffering.

I *don't* have a penis, and for that I'm quite glad. I don't think I could handle something constantly dangling between my legs. And if I wanted to walk around naked, my cats might use it as a toy to bat around. No, vaginas are definitely the way to go.

And somehow it just sounds *so* much more disgusting for me to say "vagina" than for you guys to say "penis." Let's get it all out in the open, shall we? Penis penis penis! Vagina vagina vagina!

Gyro · Post by **Gyro** » Sun Nov 17, 2002 3:57 pm

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is your anatomy lesson for today. By the way, Erin, I don't see *you* complaining about certain parts of anatomy that males posess that you've made quite a lot of use of. So don't knock it too much. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, you havebeen...

LadyBlak · Post by **LadyBlak** » Sun Nov 17, 2002 4:04 pm

Gyro wrote:And that, ladies and gentlemen, is your anatomy lesson for today. By the way, Erin, I don't see *you* complaining about certain parts of anatomy that males posess that you've made quite a lot of use of. So don't knock it too much. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, you havebeen...

::sings:: Have I told you lately that I hate you? Because I do!

Captain Laserpants · Post by **Captain Laserpants** » Sun Nov 17, 2002 4:11 pm

ok guys, i think you forgot the "topic" of this forum...if you take time to look, you would see that it is entitled "MY penis"...not "penises, vaginas, and jeff and erin's sex life." So, if we could get back on topic here (the topic being MY penis) that would be great. thanks!

Gyro · Post by **Gyro** » Sun Nov 17, 2002 4:14 pm

So Mr. I Shoot Laser Beams Out Of My Crotch would like us to return to discussing his genetlia, eh? Well, I believe he likes to stick it in farm animals and various household appliances.
That does, by the way, include the toaster.
Zing!

LadyBlak · Post by **LadyBlak** » Sun Nov 17, 2002 4:18 pm

You guys know what a damn good song is? "For the Longest Time." Especially when a sweaty, naked man is singing it to you....

Captain Laserpants · Post by **Captain Laserpants** » Sun Nov 17, 2002 4:23 pm

i will destroy you, Erin. Oh yes, make no mistake about it. I WILL DESTROY YOU, YOUR CHILDREN, AND YOUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN!!!!!!!!....... for three months...

LadyBlak · Post by **LadyBlak** » Tue Nov 19, 2002 5:11 pm

Captain Laserpants wrote:i will destroy you, Erin. Oh yes, make no mistake about it. I WILL DESTROY YOU, YOUR CHILDREN, AND YOUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN!!!!!!!!....... for three months...

YEAH you will... because I'll be makin' lots of them!

Captain Laserpants · Post by **Captain Laserpants** » Mon Dec 02, 2002 3:44 pm

wow, with 15 replies, my penis is the biggest (HA!) topic of conversation for the whole underground! i feel so special!

Captain Laserpants · Post by **Captain Laserpants** » Mon Dec 02, 2002 3:44 pm

wow, with 15 replies, my penis is the biggest (HA!) topic of conversation for the whole underground! i feel so special!