Not to get angsty...

[Bliss]

Anyone else out there feel like they're drowning? Whether in stress or responsibility, or ...any of the numerous things that life feeds us any day? Anyone else fed up, or at least just too tired to care anymore?

I'm sort of lacking people to relate to, so ...I thought I might take a risk here, and see if, in "general" anyone else has the same sort of angst about the day-to-day.

The point here isn't to try to force some sort of relation upon other keenspacers. Really, I think I just want to know what life is like for some of you out there. There's lots of talk bout comics, and lots of talk about ... er, I said that already. And I do suppose that it makes sense given the forum and what not. But beyond artists, we're still people here.

Wow, that was er, a little too carebearish, even for me.

I know this probably reads as being very awkward and I think it likely that this'll be overlooked in light of the livelier conversations going on.

Feel free to flame/plug/troll or whatever it is you feel like doing.

[ZOMBIE USER 9264]

No, im feeling pretty down too.

[Bliss]

How down? And why?

I look at myself and can sincerely realize that I don't really have any problems to speak of. Just self generated ones. I see lots of people around me being happy and giddy doing their day to day stuff, and I wonder what's wrong with me?

I think life would be so much easier if I could just let go. Let go of everything: responsibilities, morals, relationships, etc. I wouldn't be me, but at least my conciousness wouldn't have to suffer because of itself.

Not really to turn this into a Therapy Thread, but what is the fear, the worry, the terror that crosses your head as you slip to sleep?

[ZOMBIE USER 8296]

what the hell's wrong with the Care Bears?!

[TheWhiner]

Eh?

I am always feeling down but thats because of a hormonal imbalance (I had it checked). Its annoying because just when you get to the point you want to end it all I think - stupid hormones.

Right now I am in a funk about work. I actually have a fulltime job for the first time and I am feeling opressed. I have worked for only 2 weeks in an environment that presents enough change to keeps things interesting - sort of.

The thing is, I don't want to do this for the rest of my life. Not necessarily just this job, but any job. The repeatitiveness of it. It just feels so void of content. Yes I have money now, but no time to spend it. The thought of living like this for the rest of my life fills me with dread.

If this keeps up, I may just cut life short at 30. If I can survive that long...

As for your fear you speak of, Bliss, I'm thinking everyone has it. Its just most people repress it away because they think that it is worth it. But why is it? Who says it is?

I would be happy sitting in front of a computer in the library for the rest of my life and living out of a cardboard box. Nothing to tie you down. It may not have luxury written over it, but is is an improvement over the oblivion that awaits me for the rest of my existance.

[Twentyfour]

what is the fear, the worry, the terror that crosses your head as you slip to sleep?

.... The loss of absolutely every single thing that I care about.... Like I wake up and POOF! gone... nothing left. I dunno.. that just kinda scares the shnikeys outta me.

I dunno if letting go is the cure as much as acceptance Bliss. Life WILL kick you were it hurts... and maybe while you're down too... But ya just learn to accept that with the bad comes good.. you just have to learn to see it when it's there. When you're in a bad mood or just depressed you see what you want to see.. it's like a mental inertia, when you're mad you want to stay that way, etc.

I've tried to right something helpful here about 5 times now... I dunno what to say Bliss.. I feel the same, it's been odd.. I'm home.. but I feel like I don't belong here, like I don't have a place.... I'm a bit out of it now, what with not havin much sleep n all... Well.. just know yer not alone... and feel free to vent in here

-Dave(...sleepy and depressed..... awwwww... dont'ca just feel all bad for me now?)

[Bliss]

The thing is, I don't want to do this for the rest of my life. Not necessarily just this job, but any job. The repeatitiveness of it. It just feels so void of content. Yes I have money now, but no time to spend it. The thought of living like this for the rest of my life fills me with dread.

I would be happy sitting in front of a computer in the library for the rest of my life and living out of a cardboard box. Nothing to tie you down. It may not have luxury written over it, but is is an improvement over the oblivion that awaits me for the rest of my existance.

I totally agree, not to get off onto a Fight Club rhetoric rant, but: the things you own end up owning you. I know for myself as well, I can't live by the rules of society, the set guidelines of who you are, what you work to do, and so on.

Hell, I can barely comprehend the concept of forming personal attachements anymore. I've spent so long just saying 'f*ck it' to keep myself protected, that I'm not sure if there's a way to UNDO that kind of conditioning. ...or if there's a reason to?

twentyfour: I don't know that I'm looking for advice, or suggestions or what. I've accepted a sort of Zen state in my life, and have for the past four years, just ...accepted life to be the worst possible thing I could imagine, for everything else after that was always better. As my sig says when I bother to use it: "I believe this is heaven to no-one else but me."

I dig my life, and all the general drowning that entails, but...I wanna know why we're like this. What is this sense of hopelessness? This...(pop reference incoming) Lain-ism? Doesn't seem like this is something the previous generations went through.


----------

I ran away from my previous life, because I was tired of being what I was. I was tired of being HAPPY with drowning in my sleep, especially when that suffocation started to affect me during the day.

I happened to watch Lain just after all this started, and then read House of Leaves, which were ...strangely to say, comforts during all of this.
I'm not...upset, not depressed, i'm very mellow when I say this:

Why us?

and if it IS everyone, ...why do so few popular things address what is becoming a very core worry?

[TrevorIsSmall]

Stress? Hmmm... I work, I get bugged by my dad for not working enough, I have to get this stupid fucking shit about financial aid done so I can go back to school, I might have to raise $800 by August 8th or I CAN'T go back to school, my dad bugs me constantly about not working enough this past summer so I wouldn't have to be constantly worrying about going back to school, and these's this whole thing with these women I knew who are warning other women I know about me, saying how i'm abusive and a liar and pretty much a bad guy, and one of them has mentioned calling my dad and talking to him about me. And in a year, i'll be going to school with one of those women, my ex-girlfriend, who's a total two-faced psychopath and i might have to transfer schools to get away from her because suppousedly if I so much as look at her, she's going to call the cops on me, but I sort of WANT to transfer to a new school so I can major in film, but the only school in my area that lets me major in that is so insanely expensive that my balls might explode. Did I mention that I have about 2 women who want to see me dead, and possibly 3 more who want me to rot in hell?

[JV]

teehee, a collection of fine whine...
im facing a hell of a lot of stress in my future. i moved to Auatralia from New Zealand early in 2001 under false promices of easy jobs and cheap education. None of it worked out so early October I'm moving back to New Zealand with about $40(aus) in my pocket. If it wasn't for my friends it wouldn't be possible... so that cheers me up, my friends that is and if anything freaks me out too bad I Just think of Hannah. Then everythings ok... for now.

[Somesuch]

I'm just working part time, and will continue to do so when in my college classes again. I have no spare cash, or, rather, very little. It all goes to my car insurance and buying gas and books for classes. And then on those little things you have to have, such as a new muffler when yours falls out, and a new computer when lightning fricassies yours... and an internet connection...

I'm hoping I can save up enough cash to buy the sourcebook for Mage: The Ascenscion. ;P Just to play it online on MU*s. Yep, I'm weird all right.

My job stinks. It's boring. I'd rather be writing.

And when I'm not at work, I'm usually doing a comic or hanging out online. Which isn't so bad. Except that it takes away time for doing other things. The comic, though, is seriously improving my art. I just don't have time for writing anymore... and it's killing me. My fingers DEMAND to tap out a story, and soon. Or else.

But I still think that you can be happy despite the repetetive lifestyle. Most artists and writers tend to have some form of problem in their lives, some manner of unhappiness. I think we write, or draw, as the case may be, in order to escape.

But what do I know? I'm the person who kills off every conversation on this forum, somehow or another. I'm beginning to become afraid of posting. I scare people off.

~*~somesuch~*~

[Bliss]

*said with a three year old's voice*
Well, you're not so bad, even if you are a stinky girl.
*end voice*

It's nice to see some of you sharing some of your problems with me/us/etc. I don't know that it will help me sleep, but it eases my thoughts for now.

[Wiebe]

I find that more often than not I have angst from the past and hope for the future. And yet, I have anxiety about the little stuff in life that doesn't always matter. Like mail. I get so much crap through the mail, especially relating to my financial situation (it's complicated, though not bad) I don't know what to do with it.

Just when I think I'm 19 and all independent and stuff, I have to ask my mom or other people about all sorts of things. Do you ever really know it all?

I don't claim to not have the problems many people do. And this may sound kinda out of line but... take a deep breath. When you realize that you're so contained in your own little world - your own little problems... you suddenly see how insignificant you are. These kind of moments kind of want to make you laugh... why is that?

All I can say is I think there's something more out there (and I'm not talking aliens).

[OFFBEAT!]

Dude, Angst rules! If it wasn't for angst, we wouldn't have had the grunge scene or punk rock music, and there would still be cock rock on the radio. Angst is what slayed the whitesnake and the rest of the hair bands.
But seriously, It sounds like you're feeling frustration, more than angst. and simply knowing that you're frustrated can help change your situation. If you are frustrated, you're doing something wrong, and you need to change it. Whether if it's your job, or personal relationships or position within those, or whatever it is. You need to identify what it is, and really know what it is you want. Once you know that, implimenting the change shouldn't be difficult. Unless you want to live with the frustration. Which a lot of sad, sad people do.

[Jamie!]

...Actually, I'm feelin' pretty good.

[ZOMBIE USER 10424]

Since we're throwing down the ANGST!

I spent five years in college getting a degree in PHYSICS tha tI didn't want. I wanted to go to a Tech school and run CG for movies. Woulda been brilliant too!
So I have this degree in PHYSICS and I moved to the city just when the job market crashed through the floor... so now I'm working as a Temp in a call center with my diploma certifying myd egree in PHYSICS hanging in my cube....

[MixedMyth]

Hoo yeah. Especially last semester. I was so busy, stressed, confined, and torn I felt like I'd burst. Never, ever taking a course load like that again on top of duties to several organizations and social life. Never.

[THECapedCaper]

Wow. That's kinda harsh, but lemme tell you a way on how you can cheer up.

If you live like near a forest/park/anything like that, walk around. Just observe the trees, the small animals as they run away from you, and whatnot. Just do that for a few hours, and I guarantee you'll think much differently about almost anything.

Mainly what you'll think about is how great it is to get away for a small time from every harsh thing in your life. No job, no responsibilities, no stupid people bugging you, nothing. You'll love it. It's a great opportunity to just clear your mind and body of these things that bother you. Even horrible secrets that you won't admit to anyone will simply vanish. You'll feel a helluva lot better. Trust me on this. I've felt kinda like that before, and I just got so pissed off that I just walked out. I was really pissy, and after spending a few hours in natrue, everything was okay. Anything that bothered me after that I was able to handle by myself. I've clearly changed to the good side of things.

Or, if you want, you could just beat up a random guy on the street with a baseball bat. That's probably fun also.

[TheWhiner]

I don't have enough time to walk in the park! And the park here is smelly, has dogs and unpleasant people whom I hate walking in it. It would just make me more angst-filled. The baseball bat thing could be fun, if I didn't always get caught.

[Procrastination: Alex]

Or, if you want, you could just beat up a random guy on the street with a baseball bat. That's probably fun also.

GTA3, while not as fulfilling, will save you jailtime. Unless you steal it.


Anyhoo...currently I'm not stressed, more bored out of my mind than anything. I was pretty stressed from school and other things a few months back...For the most part, I'm fairly optimistic.

[TrevorIsSmall]

I've been using Dance Dance Revolution as a stress reliever.