Tell me your odd (or perverted) talents!

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JohnnyTwoEyes
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Post by JohnnyTwoEyes »

swordsman3003 wrote:A lot of people in the forum can purr like a kitty. I can pet like a cat owner!!! Therefore I shall pet each one of them.

*tags one of the people who purr*
I don't think that really accomplishes the whole "post what we think someone else's talents are" thing.
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Swordsman3003
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Post by Swordsman3003 »

I have no idea what's going on....

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Aeridus
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Post by Aeridus »

I can consume a full batch of chocolate pudding in one sitting.

Ghastly's talent is having a family and still being allowed to draw naughty images. ;)
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Squidflakes
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Post by Squidflakes »

awkwardschoolgirl wrote:....
Ok, so this little bit of self-censorship was actually my fault.

Awkward had posted about my perverted talent of treating my urethra like a pair of lips and making it "talk" in a high pitched voice.

She told me she posted about this, but I didn't bother to read it before getting all kinds of embarrassed, then asking her to take it down, then reading it, then realizing that it really didn't matter.

Hell, most of you have seen me naked (well, the forum oldies anyway), so...

My apologies to the lovely Awkward for making a big deal where no deal existed.

Now.. who else has a stupid penis trick?
Squidflakes, God-Emperor of the Tentacles.
He demands obeisance in the form of oral sex, or he'll put you at the mercy of his tentacles. Even after performing obeisance, you might be on the receiving ends of tentacles anyway. In this case, pray to Sodomiticus to intercede on your behalf.

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Aeridus
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Post by Aeridus »

I once masturbated while I had one of those weird catheter tubes in it. If I don't masturbate once a week I get painfully horny, and that thing was in me for weeks. XD It actually felt kinda good while masturbating, strangely...
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Swordsman3003
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Post by Swordsman3003 »

That's actually kinda hot.

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Awkwardschoolgirl
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Post by Awkwardschoolgirl »

The thought made my urethra hurt.

Thank you sweetie, I love you.
Tentacle love from,

Awkward <3

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Squidflakes
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Post by Squidflakes »

swordsman3003 wrote:That's actually kinda hot.
That's also how they do it in the Middle East.. according to Chuck anyway.
Squidflakes, God-Emperor of the Tentacles.
He demands obeisance in the form of oral sex, or he'll put you at the mercy of his tentacles. Even after performing obeisance, you might be on the receiving ends of tentacles anyway. In this case, pray to Sodomiticus to intercede on your behalf.

--from The Bible According to Badnoodles

perverted and depraved and deprived ~MooCow

Visit the Naughty Tentacle Cosplay Gallery

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Aeridus
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Post by Aeridus »

Heh, I got that book the other day.

Also, there is a very strange fetish whereby some women actually like getting fucked in the urethra, with a penis... I guess they do a lot of stretching. :o Freaking bizarre.
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Shirt Guy Xom
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Post by Shirt Guy Xom »

I have the amazing talent to prepare the greatest salami sandwhich known to man. And also to Klingons.
Eunuch McNonuts won't let me pick up the slack on the comic. I suggest emailing him your complaints.

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Post by MistressMaggie »

I can type with my toes when necessary, leaving both hands free for shlick-ing.

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Post by Lulujayne »

*is jealous*

'Though I am particularly ambidexterous with the whole deal :shucks:
I shall keep myself in oysters for the rest of the week, thank you very much.

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Aeridus
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Post by Aeridus »

I can only masturbate with my right hand, my left one is too slow. :P

In fact, I don't really use my left hand for a whole heck of a lot... XD Not even things people usually prefer to use the less dominant hand for. Though I do hold fork in right hand and knife in left hand, since with my right hand I can grip the meat/whatnot with the fork better.
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Swordsman3003
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Post by Swordsman3003 »

I'm hungry now. Does eating count as a talent?

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Reesa-chan
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Post by Reesa-chan »

Depends. What're you eating, and how're you going about doing so?

*leers*

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Fnyunj
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Post by Fnyunj »

aeridus wrote:I can only masturbate with my right hand, my left one is too slow. :P
More likely explanation; your penis is not sensitive enough.

I'm pretty heavily biased to my right hand, and for the longest time, I couldn't complete the job with my left. Then I stopped practicing as frequently, (ie. daily, often twice daily) - and if I go like maybe two weeks, left-handed fapping is easily possible. It's all a matter of sensitivity and stimulation.
Last edited by Fnyunj on Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Aeridus
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Post by Aeridus »

Well, I do have foreskin... ;) It just doesn't slide over the ridge of my glans just right if I use my left hand; I prefer smooth, straight strokes. ;) My left hand wobbles about too much. The glans itself is fairly sensitive, I just prefer not to touch it directly, especially with something dry like my hands.
Village Idiot Vs World webcomic and other works of art

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WangyJohn
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Post by WangyJohn »

I'd rather masturbate with my left hand, since it goes smoother that way (it's bit croocked to the left, no jokes), but my left hand just gets tired so fast, whilst the right one can go for incredibly long. It just bothers me that whhen I do so, it waves around.
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Post by Infinity-Iz-Blue »

I'm not sure this counts as a talent, but I've got a huge gap between my great toes and the next ones along. So much so that the great toes are almost opposable. I have thumb toes.
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Aeridus
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Post by Aeridus »

Infinity-Iz-Blue wrote:I'm not sure this counts as a talent, but I've got a huge gap between my great toes and the next ones along. So much so that the great toes are almost opposable. I have thumb toes.
Climb a wall? ;)
Village Idiot Vs World webcomic and other works of art

“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, ‘Holy shit! What a ride!’ "
~Mavis Leyrer

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