"Goodbye, Large people!"

PF27 · Post by **PF27** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 11:33 pm

It's okay to ask for Real Life help here, correct?

There's a girl. She's an utter idiot, the "I'm so emo because I put black streaks in my hair and wear skimpy clothing and listen to emo bands and such" sort of person. I'd be surprised if she could spell her own name.

But that's besides the point. My boyfreind and I just recently started hanging out with a new group of people, this group consists of the only freinds we have. This utter idiot hangs around our new group because her prettyboy boyfreind plays WoW with some of our freinds. When we first started hanging out there, they constantly harassed us about why we were "Hanging out in their spot. They had been there since their freshmen year" and told us to go find our own spot. This, naturally, bothered us. Who were they to tell us that we weren't allowed to hang out with our freinds? We asked them to stop. Politely, at first. They ignored us. A little more strainedly. They ignored us. In the end we basically told them to go f@^% themselves, and they still continued to harass us, and we were forced to either get suspended for seriously injuring other students or leave our group of freinds. We took the less fun option.

We still hung out with this group occasionally, in different places, and even dared to venture to the place where the morons would harass us occasionally. During our little visits, the girl took a liking to reffering to my boyfreind and I as "Large People" or "Fat People". We are both overweight, we admit that(I'm 5'6", 180 lbs. He's 5'10", around 240. We're both fairly muscular), but there's a big line between overweight and fat. We're also both incredably insecure about our weight. Every time the girl sees us, anywhere in the school, she'll call out "Hello, LARGE people!". We've asked her to stop, we got the same response as when she harassed us. She's at least as plump as I am, and it's really pissing me off.

Can anyone think of some way to get this girl to shut up for once? I'm getting to the point where I might actually attempt to hurt her(I'm a rather unstable person after a few months of intense stress), and I know how to make it hurt. I really want this whole thing to just be over with, I was depressed way before she came along and it's not helping. [/rant]

But really, any suggestions on how to alleviate the situation would be much appreciated.

The Neko · Post by **The Neko** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 11:40 pm

Not sure what you can really do about that. To be honest, most of those people have egos so bloated that any kind of impactful dialogue is beyond their realm of understanding.

If you want to go "the petty route" you could probably point out the irony of her jokes about your weight. Maybe you could suggest ways for her to vomit up food until she's less repulsive. (Yes, in fact, she can be less repulsive by having vomit obscuring her hideous visage.) Maybe when she shouts "Hey! Large People!" You can shout made-up, imaginary details about her sex life or maybe accuse her of having a disgusting STD in front of the whole school in a very loud voice. "Hey! It's The Petri-dish!" or "Look! In the sky! It's Chlamydi-girl!"

Going the high road involves ignoring her and prettymuch deciding that her opinions and actions are validless and exist soley to transfer her own anger of her fat self onto someone else.

Nyke · Post by **Nyke** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 11:41 pm

rkolter, that's your cue!

Yeahduff · Post by **Yeahduff** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 11:48 pm

Your discription of "emo" people is funny, but nevermind.

Just be nice to her. She'll get bored eventually, and namecalling back just feeds the problem. It's fun for her, and you're adding to the entertainment. She says "Hi large people," politely wave back. Boring. She'll find something else to do.

PF27 · Post by **PF27** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 12:21 am

I use emo because she calls herself emo, she's really not close at all.

Skylark King · Post by **Skylark King** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 1:15 am

There's a few different options.

1. Embrace the insult, and attack. Make her face her true innner fears by chasing after her with a fork while licking your lips.

2. Ignore her. Honestly, the best option. not an easy one, but whatcanya do?

3. Destroy her utterly. Find ways to ruin ruin her life on a permanent level. Be creative.

PF27 · Post by **PF27** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 1:23 am

It's kind of impossible to ignore it at this point. People have been teasing me about my weight since I was in fourth grade. I was 4'11.5" and weighed less than 90 lbs. It's become a little too deep rooted to shrug off.

Ahaugen · Post by **Ahaugen** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 1:26 am

you could always talk condicendingly to her (Cheer up little Emo, someday you too will find a man with a penis)

Phact0rri · Post by **Phact0rri** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 1:54 am

PF27 wrote:I use emo because she calls herself emo, she's really not close at all.

yeah not so emo, more like the new valley girl in Los Angeles, and you totally described my girlfriend's sister *l*

CorpAmis · Post by **CorpAmis** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 2:35 am

Well...Honestly Ignoring her is the best option....
Cos the mor ebotherd you are, the more she's gonna consider doing it....
If you are gonna give her a "Get a life" look and leave it, she will not bother to do that after a while......

Sortelli · Post by **Sortelli** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 3:48 am

Eh, you know, I actually think that ignoring this girl at this point will only make it worse. She knows she's upset you, and a lack of any reaction from this point will only let her know that it's safe to keep doing it. One-upping someone never gets boring, no matter what we're trained to believe otherwise. She wants you to lower your eyes and walk away. She wants you to avoid her and her territory. That's when she wins.

She's being awful. Keep calling her on it. Having to acknowledge that she's a horrible, petty person who bullies people her boyfriend hangs out with will get boring a lot faster than conquering you into silence will.

Also, she's playing to a crowd and if you can get the crowd to disapprove of her attitude she'll back off because these games are all about status. I'm afraid you're going to have to count on this group of friends that she and her boyfriend orbit for that, and it doesn't look like they're sticking up for you much, though.

Joel Fagin · Post by **Joel Fagin** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 3:59 am

Reacting or not, you can't win... Unless...

You've got to react in the most condecendingly dismissive way. A simple example is to roll your eyes and say "Yes, <insert name here>". Another one which is something of a cliche in media, particularly cartoons is, "You're not still talking about that, are you?!" A third is my usal reaction to trolls : "*shrug*". The whole idea here is to give the required reaction but in a tone and in a manner that clearly says that this other person is a child who doesn't understand when a joke is done and is just, simply, getting tiresome now. Now, go away.

Unfortunatly, although I'm really good at this and can reduce people to foaming incoherance it generally has to be adaptive and reactive. Which mean, basically, I can't suggest anything but would have to be there.

- Joel Fagin

Sortelli · Post by **Sortelli** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 4:06 am

Yeah, Joel's got the ticket. You can't just ignore her. You must be above her.

Lei · Post by **Lei** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 4:35 am

While my social problems in school have not been weight related, I used to get a load of shit for being a nerd. I used to react violently and was considered somewhat psychotic when I'd get into fist-fights, bite people, or stab them with classroom supplies. I've discovered, however, that just ignoring people comes in second to laughing. Just cracking up when people are mean to you throws them totally off. I've actually made friendly acquaintances from real jerks by joking around instead of feeling abused. Toss insults back and forth, but treat it like one big joke. While it may not work on this lovely specimen you describe, it will at least give you the appearance of looking stronger, and feeling stronger, since you're tough enough not to flinch. Also, being friendly and civil will drive her nuts.

And if your friends are all ball-less enough not to stand up for you, you might wanna look around for some better friends.

Ekolter · Post by **Ekolter** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 am

I was in your situation in H.S. too. So I understand the hell ya going through.

They love to get ya all pissed. Why they do it. Make them feel big.

Ignore them if you can. Or try to embarrass them in a crowd is a good idea. Next time she says something like that, tell her you get more action than she does. Have your boyfriend do extreme PDA in front of her. That should shut her up for a bit.

I'm a big gal now and I still get shit. However I have more men who adore me because of it. Points to all the CG guys who met me

Glarryg · Post by **Glarryg** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:18 am

Like Joel, I might suggest treating her like a child. This way, she'll start feeling like a child every time the situation arises, and although it might not get her to stop, it might get her friends to think of her differently, and possibly alienate her from them.

Glarryg

Black Sparrow · Post by **Black Sparrow** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:40 am

This is everyone's nightmare. I got teased in high school for general geekiness, and, earlier on, for being emo. *flinch* Frankly, I've never been good at handling bullies, so I can only suggest you try some of the above options.

In the meantime, while you're being kind or snippy to her face, find a way to blow off steam behind her back. Play some shooter-type video games and imagine she's at the point of the gun. Or doodle a "mad at emo-girl" pic. Or write some... *ahem* poetry about it.... (xsa, I really was emo...)

Bottling up all the frustration is not good for you. It'll only explode eventually, and, judging by what you've said, not even that is very effective.

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 7:33 am

If you want to get EVEN with her, I can help you, but witty comebacks really aren't my speciality. This girl is being a bitch, and I would suggest you do as others have suggested - call her on it.

Nanda · Post by **Nanda** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 7:52 am

I always found that the best way to combat that sort of behavior was to change your own attitude, because you sure as hell aren't going to be able to change theirs. It takes the sting off considerably when you just don't give a shit. Listen to the Ugly Girl.

Dr Legostar · Post by **Dr Legostar** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 7:57 am

her: "hello LARGE people!"
you: "Hello DUMB person!" <- as cheerfully as humanly possible.

On a side note, this is highschool, yes? Highschool sucks, it will continue to suck until you graduate, no matter what people who are insecure about themselves will find something about other people to ridicule. In your case it is your weight, in my case it was my name, they latch on to the most obvious thing and try to do as much damage as they can to make themselves feel better. You can sit back and revel in the fact that they are miserable about something, deep down, and while you will go on to lead a productive happy life, they will likely not because eventually no matter how much they take it out on other people they will still have to deal with all of their own problems on their own.