REALLY baaaad pickup lines...

[Honor]

I solved tis by meeting mine at a Perkins, after hours, spending weeks testing the smart, thenh taking her out on a whirlwind romance and mnarrying her while her head was still spinning.

Just to make sure it doesn't wear off (the spinning head) I arranged for her to spend the day today getting a manicure, pedicure, facial, body-wrap and polishing, full leg and brazilian wax, and a hot stone massage, along with a 3-star rated lunch and a dozen "Brazilian Black" variety roses (they're actually the color of drying veinous blood, but you can't have EVERYTHING, can you? AT least they have HUGE blossoms when they fully open).

So I'm reading this, going "yeah... Good idea, the coffee place... Oooh, spa day! how sweet! O.O ...full brazillian...! Yeah... That'll keep her head spinning, all right.

But by the time I got to roses the color of drying blood, I was swooning again.

[UgghTheCaveman]

As I told Nithos in the "member pics" thread, SHE actually picked me, more than vice-versa, Honor, but it worked out the same, and I IDD spend weeks testing the waters for the quick wit, strong backbone, and facile mind.

As for the waxing....given the choice between shaving waist down, and getting waxed once every 6 weeks (we're in what might be termed a "BDSM light" relationship...both maso, me more than she, but she's naturally submissive in personality in certain areas, and I've a sado streak that allows me to indulge her particular maso leanings quite well...but I INSIST on certain grooming standards, for cleanliness and aftercare issues), SHE chose the waxing. It's easier to care for the occasional impacted ingrown when noticed, much less bother, and 6 weeks between applications, with no worries about shaving nicks, razorburn, or other potentially "problematic" issues interfering with "playtime" aside from that one day every 6 weeks.


Also...having picked up that you're somewhat (if not fully) into "the lifestyle", yourself...got a play method I use you might find amusing, if I haven't mentioned it before....place a knife KNOWN to be razor sharp in view on the "toy platform" before blindfolding your partner, then go get a metal letter-opener that's been stored in the freezer for at least 24 hours, for some blindfolded "edge play" that is EXTREMELY safe (and doubles as "ice play")...just watch the "damp spots" until the opener has warmed enough not to do a "Christmas Storey tongue-on-the-flagpole" bit on you (or keep a small pitcher of warm-but-not-hot water handy for emergencies). I've found that this play method deliciously pushes the limits and heightens the nervous state of subbies who like this kind of play.

[Queenhank]

You know, I did something similar not too long ago. However, I did away with the blindfold, and instead put a little of a flesh-colored powder (wish I could remember the name or manufacturer) that looks exactly like blood when wet on my hand, so when I grabbed eir arm, it came off on it. Then, I took the (now slightly damp, as the small amount of ice was melting) dull blade, which ey thought was sharpened, and ran it across. Given the dark room, ey thought I had actually just taken a knife and sliced open eir arm.

Now THAT is a fucking scene!

[Awkwardschoolgirl]

"You, me, and a banana. What do you say?"

"You *will* fuck me.... you *will* fuck me..." (Jedi mind control)

I love those two especially. I've gotten the Jedi mind trick one before in the form of "You will kiss me." and well... I did.


I love me my nerds.

[Aeridus]

"You, me, and a banana. What do you say?"

"You *will* fuck me.... you *will* fuck me..." (Jedi mind control)

I love those two especially. I've gotten the Jedi mind trick one before in the form of "You will kiss me." and well... I did.


I love me my nerds.

*keeps in mind to try those sometime...*

[Nithos]

I don't want to see this thread die yet, so here's a couple more in the hopes of sparking some intrest

"Are you free tonight, or is this gonna cost me?"

"Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blowjob? No? Wanna do lunch?"

"Is that shirt/blouse/dress felt? Do you want it to be?"

[UgghTheCaveman]

"That outfit looks GREAT on you...it'd look better on my bedroom floor, illuminated by the morning sunlight through the window"



"I think I owe you dinner and a movie...I saw you dancing, and came in my pants" (the dork friend of mine who used THIS one ended up married to the gal he said it to).


(while doing body shots of tequila, and salting the exposed mound of breast on the volunteer female for that round) "Is this sexual assault, or does that come later? And which of us is the victim?"



"Fuck this shit, let's get a two person tent, a one person sleeping bag, and go camping for the rest of the week!" (worked)

[Gealachtine]

"I think I owe you dinner and a movie...I saw you dancing, and came in my pants" (the dork friend of mine who used THIS one ended up married to the gal he said it to).

"Fuck this shit, let's get a two person tent, a one person sleeping bag, and go camping for the rest of the week!" (worked)

Both of those would work on me in a heartbeat.

That hits me right in the pridebox and in my favorite hobbies: dancing and camping.

[Chaszmyr Mae'Val]

Another one from the fake lesbian furry;

"Oh god that movie was so sexy I want to have tentacle sex now! Will you rape me with a cucumber?"

The movie was Men In Black 2

[Error of Logic]

Another one from the fake lesbian furry;

"Oh god that movie was so sexy I want to have tentacle sex now! Will you rape me with a cucumber?"

The movie was Men In Black 2

-_- So, I have this other motto that says people are stupid ...

[Aeridus]

"Mind if I put myself in your pants for a while so I can see life from your perspective?"