Soooo happy with how strip 134 turned out...

Dustman · Post by **Dustman** » Wed Oct 03, 2007 7:22 pm

I can't believe it took me this long to foresee what should be a tempestuously obvious drama scene. What's gonna happen when, after she actually gets into the gaming, Jess meets up with Sarah's, ah, unique vampire character?

Oh, dear... And poor Mark is gonna be caught in the middle of it all, with no idea what's going on. Doubt this will happen for a while, but I've been wrong before.

Dustman · Post by **Dustman** » Wed Oct 03, 2007 7:24 pm

I can't believe it took me this long to foresee what should be a tempestuously obvious drama scene. What's gonna happen when, after she actually gets into the gaming, Jess meets up with Sarah's, ah, unique vampire character?

Oh, dear... And poor Mark is gonna be caught in the middle of it all, with no idea what's going on. Doubt this will happen for a while, but I've been wrong before.

One post wonder · Post by **One post wonder** » Wed Oct 03, 2007 9:16 pm

Is there established RP etiquette for someone playing a character who is hitting on the character of a player while his significant other is around? Seems very awkward to me.

Thanatos5150 · Post by **Thanatos5150** » Wed Oct 03, 2007 9:18 pm

Couples in gaming groups are bad ideas.

Very bad ideas.

Tom the Fanboy · Post by **Tom the Fanboy** » Thu Oct 04, 2007 8:38 am

I can definitely understand why people would ban couples from their groups. I've seen plenty of problems with it. That's one of the reasons I love my Vallie so much, she never bats an eye when her character is killed or used as a meat shield by an NPC. She's a good gamer girl. the only time we were in the same game and our characters dated it was because she was the only female character who wasn't a mutant or nonhuman of some sort (in Rifts) and she was also getting pissed off at everyone.

Our first date was taking a military hover vehicle down the coast of Mexico to lounge on a sunny island beach by day and waterbomb vampires by night. Good times.

My DM at the moment is married to my fellow player and the way he avoids playing favorites is by rewarding everyone. She just happens to get the best suited super items while we merely get valuable stuff that may or may not fit our characters. He's a weird sort of Monte Hall DM.

Khayankh · Post by **Khayankh** » Thu Oct 04, 2007 11:45 am

I think real-life couples in gaming groups isn't necessarily a problem: what's a problem is when your characters are a couple, characters are extensively flirting (especially in a Jess-Mark-Sarah type of situation) or the characters aren't developed because the pair are too busy being a real-life couple. I've had really positive experiences with the one couple I gamed with (they're in college now), and I think part of it had to do with the fact that their characters had rather intense irreconcilable alignment difficulties. While he's more reserved than she is, in real life she is not a free love-promoting, irresponsible Chaotic mostly Good druggie and he is not a strictly Lawful cleric of Pelor, but the fact that they could create running jokes out of things that could've been arguements was fascinating.

Alina P · Post by **Alina P** » Thu Oct 04, 2007 4:00 pm

Couples in gaming groups are bad ideas. Very bad ideas.

Not necessarily. But it really depends on the couple in question.

Having an immature couple in your group can cause all sorts of problems. The whole question of whether their relationship will last aside, there's plenty of things that they can do to disrupt a good game. Out of character, they can be distracting - talking about "their" stuff while everyone else is trying to game, or bringing an argument between the two of them to game - and clingy couples make everyone else uncomfortable.

A worse sin is when they bring their relationship into the game. "What? His character is in love with her character? Again??" (Which isn't to say that couples can't play characters with romantic interests, but I'll get to that later.) Just as bad is trying to avoid IC relationships with one's S.O. "Clearly, Sir Poncy the Chivalrous should be madly in love with Princess Wiltingflower, but no, we're dating, so I guess he's just not interested."

But you know what? Those are IMMATURE couples. And immature people, period, can ruin a good game.

So what about mature* couples? Should all couples be banned from gaming together on principle?

I say no. One of the things about gaming with a slightly more mature crowd is that you do have a lot of couples in the mix. In fact, in the gaming circle that I'm part of here in Edmonton, you'd have to do some serious song and dance to create a game group that excluded couples or only had one person from each couple in it. It's hard work, and to what effect? Those who do play may end up resenting having to leave their S.O. behind, or their S.O. may resent them for gaming without them!

In couples with one non-gamer, this really isn't an issue. Chances are they've already come to terms with the fact that one of them has a hobby, and that hobby is gaming, so no one feels left out. But if both of them are geeks, and both of them really, really want to play, then it's rather unfair to ask them to chose which of them gets to play. Whoever stays home feels bad because they're missing out on a great game, and whoever is playing in the game can't tell their S.O. how much fun they're having. If this pressure gets really bad, it can actually led to someone leaving your game, thus accomplishing exactly what you were hoping to avoid.

Besides, couples can bring things to a game, too. I've found that having couples in a gaming group, just like having old friends who know each other's quirks, lends a different dynamic to the group and can make for some excellent character interactions, even if their characters aren't a couple in-game.

I believe that the same criteria should apply to couples as it does for all gamers - if they're a reliable player who loves playing, brings a lot to the game, and is fun to hang around with, then why screen them from your games just because they happen to be dating yet another excellent player? Good players are hard to find, and you'd just be limiting your pool even more!

* * *

Ok, the essay's almost over. I just wanted to add that xaq and I love to game together when we can (xaq's usually the one running the games!!), and that some of my favorite games have been one's we've played in together. But I've noticed something interesting regarding the differences between tabletop games and LARP. Tabletop games are, well, maybe not less immersive so much as immersive in a different way. But when we've been LARPing together, there's a very distinct wall between how we relate in-character and out-of-character. There was one game that I played in where I was actually afraid to touch his character because he was playing a horrible, horrible person!! I had to remind myself internally that it was just xaq in order to psych myself up to even get near him.

Maybe it's a psychological thing learned from theatre or LARPing, or something else altogether, but it seems to me that if there was a couple in your group who was having trouble keeping OOC-stuff OOC, it might be useful to get them thinking about the other person as their character, and not as their partner. That is, if they aren't doing so already! Good players keep a very firm line in between IC and OOC. If they can't manage that, they probably shouldn't be playing. But that's another topic for another day - I've gone on long enough already.

Suffice it to say that none of this helpful advice will apply to anyone in the comic - just like in a good game, what fun would it be if everyone just got along?

* For the sake of this argument, mature means responsible, not old. Mature couples sounds like they should be wintering in Arizona and yelling at kids to get off the lawn

One post wonder · Post by **One post wonder** » Thu Oct 04, 2007 5:28 pm

Please do not remind me of the old people!!! Arizona is know for having horrible drivers, poor road layouts, and constant construction on our most busy roads... The state comes to a complete stop thanks to the "Mature couples". Though in their defense, they have some really nice cars for me to stare at while stuck in traffic.

Thanatos5150 · Post by **Thanatos5150** » Thu Oct 04, 2007 5:51 pm

Addendum:

You must understand, all the gaming (non PbP) has been while I was in High School and we all know how bad High School Romances will be.
Of course, they also completely jacked up everything my assamite did in the VtM game. (Since when does a violnist who has trouble telling the pointy end and the safe end of a sword apart, have the miracolous ability to sunder a ninja's ninja-to, when the ninja's sole intentiton is to keep his sword away from the other guy's violin/improvised club)

So, I may not exactly be an expert.

Oh, and also I'm extremly JADED. That may have something to do with it, as well.