Its been a while since I had a critique ( about a year or two lol) This comic of mine has been in the works for a good 4 years now, off and on production, work and school got in the way however I still managed to get around 80+ pages done and if you look through you can see the progress i've been making ^_^
Anyhow, the comic is shonen jump like, action based with comical situations and a complicated plot line which I haven't gotten a chance to even get into yet lol ( just hint at)
C&C welcome! Hope you enjoy what ya see! ^_^
Jager Rising, The new Fight Club! C&C Please!
Jager Rising, The new Fight Club! C&C Please!
" Theres something odd about you number 1..." -Number 2
Jager Rising - High Flying action, World Threatening Prophecies and High School..... -
You are required to have your ComicGenesis ad at the *top* of every page, which you currently do not. Putting it at the bottom doesn't count. Ad is missing from your archives and Links pages.
You don't need the giant Jager banner at the top of every page--after the first time I see it, it's really just taking up space which could be devoted to making me have to scroll less. So is having your 'buttons' at the top take up two rows. You could just make them smaller and all fit on one row.
Your first previous next last buttons at the bottom don't all fit on the row, either.
The text in your older comics is often poorly spaced/put in weirdly shaped bubbles, but you seem to have figured that out as you went along.
Your characters seem to have forgotten the first rule of Fight Club: Don't talk about fight club.
Some of the dialog is awkward, try running it by a friend before you finalize it. (In particular you seem to have trouble with commas and apostrophes. Pick up an English textbook or basic grammar text if you're unsure how to use them. You shouldn't be making basic mistakes like messing up plurals. The plural of leaf=leaves, plural of knife=knives.)
"Site construction" comic: Why is this here? If it was once necessary and now isn't, remove it.
Why does the guy stop when the bell rings? That doesn't make sense.
How is fight ring *not* a blood sport?
I recommend some sort of update schedule; a story like this is hard to follow when updates are only coming erratically, and then only every couple of weeks. The less 'self contained' your updates are, the more often I think they need to be in order to keep readers interested.
Your art is excellent and I am sure will continue to improve. Story wise this isn't my kind of of thing, so there's not much for me to say other than that your plot seems to be coming along fine.
You don't need the giant Jager banner at the top of every page--after the first time I see it, it's really just taking up space which could be devoted to making me have to scroll less. So is having your 'buttons' at the top take up two rows. You could just make them smaller and all fit on one row.
Your first previous next last buttons at the bottom don't all fit on the row, either.
The text in your older comics is often poorly spaced/put in weirdly shaped bubbles, but you seem to have figured that out as you went along.
Your characters seem to have forgotten the first rule of Fight Club: Don't talk about fight club.
Some of the dialog is awkward, try running it by a friend before you finalize it. (In particular you seem to have trouble with commas and apostrophes. Pick up an English textbook or basic grammar text if you're unsure how to use them. You shouldn't be making basic mistakes like messing up plurals. The plural of leaf=leaves, plural of knife=knives.)
"Site construction" comic: Why is this here? If it was once necessary and now isn't, remove it.
Why does the guy stop when the bell rings? That doesn't make sense.
How is fight ring *not* a blood sport?
I recommend some sort of update schedule; a story like this is hard to follow when updates are only coming erratically, and then only every couple of weeks. The less 'self contained' your updates are, the more often I think they need to be in order to keep readers interested.
Your art is excellent and I am sure will continue to improve. Story wise this isn't my kind of of thing, so there's not much for me to say other than that your plot seems to be coming along fine.
