Forty-Two plus Nineteen

[Avodrok]

I started this comic seven years ago and have just recently moved to keenspace. It takes place in the year 10972, it is about four or seven or fifteen people (depending on where you are up to and where I am up to at the time) that live in an apartement building and stuff.

Now, I know that by putting this up I am just asking for criticism. Therefore, I would like to put this disclaimer.

1)This comic contains racism/evil jokes at times
My co-writer and I are very insistent that since one thing is okay to make fun of, everything is; as long as it is done for the sake of humor. None of what we say is serious nor do we believe anything that we write about

2)In the beginning it is hard to read
My first comics are for introductory purposes, and I sucked at writing back in the day. Most of the comics in the beginning were written/drawn seven years ago.

3)I have a serious problem with my cartooning
In the beginning I was not able to draw at all, as you can plainly see. Now I can draw a little better.
Also, I had a tendency to switch drawing styles a lot. So ignore that as well.

4)I have a few filler comics

That is all. Read it, insult me, e-mail me. Whatever, I don't mind if you send to my e-mail address, just don't PM me because I won't check it. Also feel free to insult me personally. I don't mind that either.

http://fpn.comicgenesis.com

[Glambourine]

The art isn't great, but it could work with good writing. The writing needs serious help.

I don't like everything Scott McCloud does, but check out his new book, "Making Comics". It deals with a lot of storytelling issues, like the importance of backgrounds, clarity, pacing, and text to image balancing. Read a bunch of well-written webcomics and comics in general (Achewood, Calvin and Hobbes, old serial strips, Bloom County) and see how they pace their jokes. Take notes on how much information they give the reader per panel. See if you can take any panels out of the strip and still have it make sense. Then, once you have some idea about how these comics work, try using the ideas in your own strip.

Right now, your jokes aren't timed well, your characters seem like they're speaking in an ungrammatical monotone, and you either give way too much info per panel or not enough. Good art can save weak writing, but again, your art isn't great (yet--you have improved, yeah), and your writing at this point is beyond weak. Work on it, figure out more deeply who your characters are, and keep going with this until you've got it where you want it.

Good luck

[Avodrok]

Thanks. I thought a lot about what you said and I think that you are right, my writing needs some work. I think with some time, and the upcoming winter vacation I will be able to work on it some more.