Hellbound

Maniac_wolfman · Post by **Maniac_wolfman** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 8:31 pm

Hellbound

It's about a guy named Guy who messes up a demon summoning and gets stuck having to help a succubus get her soul back as well as his own.

Check it out, you'll be dissapointed....I mean you won't be dissapointed...or will you?

>_> <_<

A critique would be greatly appriciated if you feel so inclined. Be ruthless.

ShineDog · Post by **ShineDog** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 8:38 pm

looks cool, but unfortunatley some really really REALLY GOD DAMN IDIOTIC new rules mean your post will likely get deleted or locked.

however. bookmarked.

Derenge · Post by **Derenge** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 8:40 pm

I've actually read your comic before, good stuff. Here's to hoping that this nonsense doesn't interfer with your pitch.

LibertyCabbage · Post by **LibertyCabbage** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 9:35 pm

that's really cool! the art is very unique and clean. the dialogue is clever and the story is interesting and is progressing quickly. way to go!!!

/linked

Caduceus · Post by **Caduceus** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 11:29 pm

I like it. The art is good (though the grayscale episode confused me; just an experiment?) The self reference in the first comic (the badly colored part) was very well used, as was a similar effect with the corny anime part. Keep doing that but keep it occasional like it is now. Very funny.

http://humanity.xepher.net/Hellbound/He ... 2004-10-20

I LOVE the long neck on the demon here. Makes her look really exotic and beautiful.

http://humanity.xepher.net/Hellbound/He ... 2004-11-17

Demon looks fat in panel 3. Hard angle, I know, but you said be brutal. Also, we know she punched his head through a wall. The comment slows down the pace there and over-explains the joke. If the protagonist were looking in horror at the body of the demon hunter we would get that he was referring to the brutality in his "Do I have a choice?" line and it would strenghthen both the visual and the joke. I also think that having her say "No" in a different panel would punch it up but that's probably just personal preference.

http://humanity.xepher.net/Hellbound/He ... 2004-11-24

Connect those balloons. Don't make your reader have to figure out who is speaking unless you are using that ambiguity for some effect.

Also, I think the tails on your speech balloons need to aim at the speakers' mouths. Having them aim the general direction of the character but not at the mouth creates some unresolved tension in my mind.

http://humanity.xepher.net/Hellbound/He ... 2005-01-06

Panel 6. Another unconnected balloon. Not very aesthetic and it hurts the flow of the dialogue. Love the sillouhuette in panel 7.

http://humanity.xepher.net/Hellbound/He ... 2005-01-18

Why is that gaussian blur there? I don't get it.

http://humanity.xepher.net/Hellbound/He ... 2005-02-16

More confusing gaussian blur. I think now you are saying he is moving really fast but that is not conveyed well by just seeing his face. Maybe if we saw him in two places at once full body? That would really give the impression of him zipping around really fast.

Keep up the good work! The comic is funny, crisp and has appealing art. I'm now a regular reader.

Maniac_wolfman · Post by **Maniac_wolfman** » Sun Feb 20, 2005 1:16 pm

Thank you all for your kind words

And a special thanks to Stephen. Your detailed critique is quite helpful. I'll definately be more wary of balloon placement in the future. And I've gone back and fixed a few of the problems you pointed out already.

Stephen Henderson-Grady wrote: http://humanity.xepher.net/Hellbound/He ... 2005-01-18
Why is that gaussian blur there? I don't get it.

Hmmm..I suppose it is a tad gratuitous. I'm sure it made perfect sense to me at the time I did it. I think it's supposed be mean he's being loud or something....

Stephen Henderson-Grady wrote: http://humanity.xepher.net/Hellbound/He ... 2005-02-16
More confusing gaussian blur. I think now you are saying he is moving really fast but that is not conveyed well by just seeing his face. Maybe if we saw him in two places at once full body? That would really give the impression of him zipping around really fast.

I put it there to show that he's freaking out, trying to contain the immature thoughts. I suppose I could have portrayed that better. I just couldn't think of anything.

Once again thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it

Van Douchebag · Post by **Van Douchebag** » Sun Feb 20, 2005 2:26 pm

Yeah; I've read Hellbound.
You can blame Pawn for that.

Maniac_wolfman · Post by **Maniac_wolfman** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 6:20 pm

Van Douchebag wrote:Yeah; I've read Hellbound...

Good? Bad?

Steverules · Post by **Steverules** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 6:36 pm

I gotta admit when I went to your site I wasn't too excited about reading (thought it might be another Sluggy type strip, don't know why but something about the demon or the style struck me as Sluggy Freelance, although your art is much better) it but after going through a couple I realized it was nothing like Sluggy and it is good. The writing is really good. Funny stuff. The Jesus throwing the stone strip was awesome. The site design is nice as well. Overall really nice job.

Maniac_wolfman · Post by **Maniac_wolfman** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 6:49 pm

I never thought that "it was nothing like Sluggy Freelance" could be a compliment

Thanks.

Van Douchebag · Post by **Van Douchebag** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 6:53 pm

maniac_wolfman wrote:Good? Bad?

Well, so far it's pretty good. I'd be happier with a bigger archive, but'cha seem to know what you're doing so thumbs up on this one.

Warofwinds · Post by **Warofwinds** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 6:52 pm

I love it. Definitely going on my fav's list.

PrincessJen · Post by **PrincessJen** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 1:03 pm

This is really neat! My only gripe is the art.

Thirdworldvillian · Post by **Thirdworldvillian** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 4:54 pm

whats wrong with the art?

I really enjoy this comic by the way. Keep up the good work!

Beyonder_alpha · Post by **Beyonder_alpha** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 5:24 pm

Already read it a while ago, was entertaining

Maniac_wolfman · Post by **Maniac_wolfman** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 7:27 pm

PrincessJen wrote:This is really neat! My only gripe is the art.

Anything in specific I should try to improve on?

Sketch286 · Post by **Sketch286** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 8:01 pm

from what I can see I'm liking it! will actually read later.
and your icon/avatar thing too! dude that rocks

Warofwinds · Post by **Warofwinds** » Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:39 pm

What about the art?! The art kicks ass! Crisp clean lines, inked, solid coloring skills, character design is steady... pffft! The art's fine!

Meep the Greek · Post by **Meep the Greek** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 2:47 pm

Great comic! The Jesus one was great, and I already love Abster-Baxter and his gold tooth. The Maturity Scowl strip was hilarious (and I did get the intention behind the blur effect, which is just another example of
everything being relative).