New Comic- Blackbird- Tell me what you think!

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Sat Aug 28, 2004 5:06 pm

I now have the first 9 pages of my new comic, Blackbird, online at http://blackbirdcomic.keenspace.com and I'd like to get some feedback. Basically, I'm wondering if this looks like something people are interested in reading.

A summary: Phaethon, an extra-terrestrial who has assumed human form, is trying to find his homeworld accompanied by a group of people with mysterious pasts. At its current stage they are in a bit of trouble with the law...

Any suggestions for improvement are more than welcome. Thanks!

P.S. I'm adding a little poll if you just want to give basic feedback, etc.

Warofwinds · Post by **Warofwinds** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 6:57 am

I think it looks very interesting! Dialogue's good, plot's set within the first 8 pages... I'll probably be checking back from time to time. There <i>is</i> just one thing I'd like to say that I find kinda funny... Somewhere in the prologue where one of those civil war guys is shouting something like "It's a big rock," well, he looks like Beavis, or is it Butt-head? I don't know. Anyways, I just found that really funny.

Err... just ignore that last bit, and keep drawing.

-Kez

Christwriter · Post by **Christwriter** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 8:57 pm

Not bad. Not exceptional, certainly, but not bad at all.

The story seems to be the most facinating aspect, and if it advances perhaps ten pages more I will probably end up suggesting it as a fairly good read. It's defenately good that one can tell it has serious potental this early in the game.

I want more please

The artwork needs a little help, and a twenty-dollar artist's anatomy book would be a good investment. However the colors of the artwork are neither garish nor too bland. A little more shading wouldn't hurt.

All in all, I'm defenately keeping my eye on this one.

CW

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 12:05 pm

Yes, I have had some similar comments about the art, particularly the shading. It's kind of an experiment, and I guess it isn't really working out. And I'm definitely aware of... let's say 'questionable' anatomy. Changes will be made! Forward motion with progress!

Ravii · Post by **Ravii** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 2:17 pm

I think the story is going to come along great, but the start with the civil war needs some help. I think a little tweaking on the art but all in all I'm going to keep reading to see what happens.

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 8:56 am

Well, I am planning to start playing around with the art. What specifically about the start needs help?

And I'd really like to hear what people who have voted 'Awful' have to say, unless its just flames.

Ravii · Post by **Ravii** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 10:40 am

Well for me I think you need to make that longer with the civil war, go into more detail into what happened*just me* I think you should also show his struggle through time like what he did from then up till the present time. It would be a nice way to show maybe some other reasons he would prefer not to be on Earth.

Lintjinks · Post by **Lintjinks** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 12:02 pm

Born and raised a southerner, I nearly groaned out loud at all the cliched southern euphemisms spouting forth from those rebel mouths. I didn't think I'd like your comic... but then I did. Good stuff, I like what you've set up so far. I also like what you're trying to do with the art style. It seems to suit the story.

Jellybeansniper · Post by **Jellybeansniper** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 5:15 pm

i love it! the art is unique, the story is great as well (better explained than mine anyways). fusing the civil war with a futuristic time was brilliant too, but it's definitely the art that caught my attention. i'm so used to anime/manga nowadays, it's nice to see some uniqueness =o ) keep it up, i'll keep reading and throw a link on my site. p34c3

Phact0rri · Post by **Phact0rri** » Wed Sep 01, 2004 10:56 am

It looks like its going to be a very fun little romp. The story is cut and dry and set up with just what this alien fellow is gonna do with his vic- I mean crew.

You've got some talent in the line art, of the figures, not perfect but like the others said definatly can see progress. I'd say that characters for the most part if they are exagerated or not can go be fine like that as you work on honing your craft (the main alien fellow's body looks a bit stretched out and not realistically porportioned... but I'm guilty of the same thing ^_~). I'd work on getting photos from sci fi shows, airplanes and star maps and play around with the interior of the ship more, and work on making some backgrounds that stand out from the characters.. as the backgrounds as is seem to swallow them in places.

I'd also say that in the way you colour that you could suffer a thicker line of the characters verses the backgrounds just to let the characters stand out a little more.

all in all looking great and can't wait to see the next installment.

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Wed Sep 01, 2004 11:47 am

Ravii: Ah, now I see what you mean. Don't worry! I've got plenty of flashbacks planned during lulls in the story; his Earthbound days will be documented parallel to the current story.

Lintjinks: Sorry about that; I couldn't help myself. However, in my defense, the euphemisms were adapted from civil war era letters written home by actual soldiers, and many of them were used by both sides. I'm glad it didn't stop you reading.

I'm getting very mixed reactions about the art...

Ravii · Post by **Ravii** » Thu Sep 02, 2004 8:33 pm

Thats all I ask lol , hey I'm gonna try and link you, muahahahahaha, anyhow I really like your art, *I do anime styled art myself but its about damn time to see somethin else

*

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Sun Sep 05, 2004 10:09 am

Well thanks! I'll have to reciprocate the favor.

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Mon Sep 06, 2004 6:49 pm

Just a heads up for anyone browsing the thread:

A new page (#11) will be up tomorrow (Tuesday). I've done this one a little bit differently, so come back and tell me what you think!

btw... my banner doesn't seem to be working. What am I doing wrong?

Whiteout · Post by **Whiteout** » Mon Sep 06, 2004 8:14 pm

First let me say your comic looks good enough to keep anyone scaning comics coming back to look at yours... and I like the dialogue and where the plot is going....

As for your sig...

I believe you want to use normal html except for the img which you use [ img] imagepath [ /img] (minus the spaces of course)

Post by **Mercury Hat** » Mon Sep 06, 2004 10:12 pm

Well you shouldn't hotlink your banner from your keen site anyway. Put it up on some other site or link to it from the guide (like mine).

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Tue Sep 07, 2004 12:52 pm

Yeah, I figured out the bit about keen's anti-hotlinking system yesterday. How do you get it from the guide?

Lintjinks · Post by **Lintjinks** » Tue Sep 07, 2004 2:21 pm

This is filched almost directly from the Tagtorial and Guides thread under Help, with a little extra added in, cause I had trouble with this, too.

1. Go to http://siteadmin2.keenspace.com/cgi-bin ... /login.cgi

2. Log in like normal. If you can't log in there are other forum threads that address this problem.

3. Click Edit "Your Comic's" Banners.

4. In the text box labeled "Banner Path" enter the UNIX PATH (not the URL) of your banner image: /public_html/images/banner.jpg

5. Click submit. It can take as long as a day for your banner to become available.

6. Notice that a new block will appear at the top of your banner page. The first line is "Banner ID." This number is important because it's also the new filename of your banner on the guide. For example, the banner in my sig has ID #752. To link to it from the guide you need to reference: http://guide.keenspace.com/images/banners/752.png (Notice that the file format stays the same. Only the name changes.)

7. Now, replace the reference to your avatar and sig banner from Step 2 with your new guide banner and avatar.

8. Done.

So, Blackbird, in your case you would put (except use [] instead of {}):
{url=http://blackbirdcomic.keenspace.com}{img}http://guide.keenspace.com/images/banners/**yourbannernumber here**.jpg{/img}{/url}

Hope that helps.

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Thu Sep 09, 2004 1:57 pm

Testing...testing...1, 2, 3....

All right! Thanks for the help!

Doesn't anyone have any opinion about the latest page?

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New Comic- Blackbird- Tell me what you think!

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New Comic- Blackbird- Tell me what you think!

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heh, heh, awright!