We finally finished chapter 1... so uh, review please?

[Serenagold]

Hey guys. ^^

I'm part of the two person team who puts out the comic Anomic. We just finished up the first chapter at a tidy 28 pages, so I figured it would be awesome to see what you guys thought and am open to hear any criticisms you might have. There's always room for improvement, ya know? Hopefully you'll find it something enjoyable to read. I know, atleast, it amuses me...


About the comic: Anomic is a dark, sci-fi/action comic with a rather quirky dry sense of humor. There is strong language, violence and adult themes, so if you are looking for something kid friendly or a little more upbeat and heart warming, its probably not for you. There is a lot of fighting, terrorism, corrupt government, abuse, and crazy people. All around, a good time if you are into that sort of thing.

The premise: Trying to describe the actual plot without giving anything away is a bit tricky. The first chapter serves to introduce a lot of the players, but nothing turns out really how you expect it to as the different groups meet and get involved with one another. While the main story follows a group of mercenary terrorists, the overall theme of the comic is that nothing is what you expect it to be and following a path based off of assumption will lead you on the road to hell and ruin. (Not that there is any morals or life lessons being taught here, just the joy of other people's misfortune, confusion and stress. ^^)



So let me know what you think. We haven't really gotten a lot of feed back outside of people we know... and you know you can never trust those opinions. Give us some outside opinions. I'm looking forward to hearing your replies.

Read from the beginning by clicking here: http://anomic.comicgenesis.com/d/20070808.html

[Td501]

Some very details artwork there. Definite talent. But perspective is a big issue. Objects just aren’t relating well to each other spatially. Many panes also seem to lack focus. I often can’t tell what I’m supposed to direct my attention toward. Also reading from one word balloon to the next doesn’t always follow a logical flow – same with panel placement. Actual gaps between panels, rather than just dark lines, would aid to reduce cramping and confusion. All this put together combines for a very hard read. I got through the whole thing, but was beginning to develop a headache – couldn’t have read much further in a single sitting.

A lot of this will come with practice. I’d recommend paying particular attention to portraying perspective better.

Now for style. The comic starts off pretty boring – doesn’t really draw you in. I know that’s kind of what you were shooting for – just an average day when suddenly something horrible happens. But the busy (and impressively detailed) frames slow down the reader (at least me), and interest wanes quickly. I was three pages in before attention is drawn to the bomber, then I had to go back and find him in the previous frames. A fun and clever gimmick, to be sure, but it should have waited until after interest is generated. First frames should be much more focused – pushing the reader quickly toward the fireworks.

The comic also looks entirely modern day until you see a spaceship in orbit. My first take on that was that the heroes were aliens looking to set up the conquest of Earth or something. Some clue in the first pages that this is the future would have kept me on track. Clothing style, car design, computers, décor – any of these (all of these) should have told me ‘Future!’ Indeed, such futuristic stuff would have sparked some immediate interest, too.

The story is just starting, so can’t comment on that – certainly curious as to where it’s going, though! So work on perspective, focus, word balloon and panel flow to make my reading and understanding of the comic easier!

[Serenagold]

I agree that the pages can get bit too cluttered sometimes; someone pointed something else out to me previously that I noticed myself when adding words to the comic, the drawings need to be better planned out to allow for text and breathing room. Its something to work on in future pages.

The modern day verses space thing was something a few others have pointed out as well, but hopefully as the comic goes on it will see more acceptable that the world, which is slightly more futuristic, really hasn't changed much more than our own. Regular people's lives remain mundane and unchanged. All the hightech space stuff and transportation is mostly just reserved to government and what not. (Not that there wont be smugglers, pirates, mercenaries and other shady people with that technology.)

Thanks for the suggestions.