So you want to own a Harem

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Tue May 01, 2007 1:56 pm

... five things to know about harems if you plan to own and operate one.

Safe for work, unless a freakish prude is standing over your shoulder, in which case this warning might already have set them off.

http://www.neatorama.com/2007/05/01/5-t ... u-get-one/

Tim · Post by **Tim** » Tue May 01, 2007 2:32 pm

Awesome.

Although I don't know how much I want my mother to be in control of my hoochies.

Black Sparrow · Post by **Black Sparrow** » Tue May 01, 2007 2:40 pm

Wow... I feel sorry for the women in the harems of 15,000 and 16,000. Unless the guy was particularly lively, any one concubine got real action only once every twenty years.

Prettysenshi · Post by **Prettysenshi** » Tue May 01, 2007 3:34 pm

*takes notes*

Vorticus · Post by **Vorticus** » Tue May 01, 2007 3:39 pm

hmm, Harem = Bureaucracy, good to know.

Tellurider · Post by **Tellurider** » Tue May 01, 2007 3:41 pm

OBS wrote:
Black Sparrow wrote:Wow... I feel sorry for the women in the harems of 15,000 and 16,000. Unless the guy was particularly lively, any one concubine got real action only once every twenty years.
If there were 16K concubines and assuming he "entertained" one every day, he'd come full circle in 43.8 years.

By then, at his age, there wouldn't be a whole lot of steam left in him and most of the concubines likely got bored waiting (or died).

Unless he's Wilt Chamberlain.

Or goes the "orgy" route.

Or has sex more than once a day.

Or he's really gay and his defense is "but I can't choose!" Clever. Very clever.

Black Sparrow · Post by **Black Sparrow** » Tue May 01, 2007 3:46 pm

Tellurider wrote:
OBS wrote:
Black Sparrow wrote:Wow... I feel sorry for the women in the harems of 15,000 and 16,000. Unless the guy was particularly lively, any one concubine got real action only once every twenty years.
If there were 16K concubines and assuming he "entertained" one every day, he'd come full circle in 43.8 years.

By then, at his age, there wouldn't be a whole lot of steam left in him and most of the concubines likely got bored waiting (or died).
Unless he's Wilt Chamberlain.

Or goes the "orgy" route.

Or has sex more than once a day.

Or he's really gay and his defense is "but I can't choose!" Clever. Very clever.

When you have to surround yourself with 16,000 hot women just to feel like a man, you've got to be overcompensating for something.

Tim · Post by **Tim** » Tue May 01, 2007 4:12 pm

It's the Sultan. It's a status symbol. These women are medival bling.

Io · Post by Io » Tue May 01, 2007 4:25 pm

16k... um...wow. I'd be happy with 3-5 man slaves to do my bidding... but I'm a simple kind of guy ^^;.

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Tue May 01, 2007 4:40 pm

Yeah, the 16,000 women aren't to show what a god of a man he is, the 16,000 women are to show other men that he's got MORE women.

The women are, as Tim suggests, bling. A harem - The ultimate trophy wife storage closet, maintained by your mom.

Jim North · Post by **Jim North** » Tue May 01, 2007 4:59 pm

I'm sure that those who didn't get regular service from his majesty found ways of entertaining themselves.

Or each other.

RemusShepherd · Post by **RemusShepherd** » Tue May 01, 2007 5:49 pm

I was just thinking of how one man could service 16,000 harem girls...and an idea came to me. An idea that, if implemented in the modern world, could make someone very, very rich.

Harem Timeshares.

Tim · Post by **Tim** » Tue May 01, 2007 5:51 pm

They have those. They're called "pimps".

(though of course not quite on that scale)

Christwriter · Post by **Christwriter** » Tue May 01, 2007 5:51 pm

rkolter wrote: A harem - The ultimate trophy wife storage closet, maintained by your mom.

For some reason, this sentance makes me giggle hystarically.

CW

MixedMyth · Post by **MixedMyth** » Tue May 01, 2007 7:45 pm

Tim wrote:They have those. They're called "pimps".

(though of course not quite on that scale)

Yeah, but this could be a franchise! We could call it "McPimpys"!

Nanda · Post by **Nanda** » Tue May 01, 2007 8:52 pm

MixedMyth wrote:
Tim wrote:They have those. They're called "pimps".

(though of course not quite on that scale)
Yeah, but this could be a franchise! We could call it "McPimpys"!

But who could we get to run such an establishment?! Hmmmm....

Linkara · Post by **Linkara** » Tue May 01, 2007 9:08 pm

Nanda wrote:
MixedMyth wrote:
Tim wrote:They have those. They're called "pimps".

(though of course not quite on that scale)
Yeah, but this could be a franchise! We could call it "McPimpys"!
But who could we get to run such an establishment?! Hmmmm....

Yes, we'd need someone attractive, possessing a red coat, a nifty hat, and possibly possessing pirate authority to bring in more harem concubines...

Wait! I've got it!

Nanda, you could do it!

Killbert-Robby · Post by **Killbert-Robby** » Tue May 01, 2007 10:26 pm

You mean to tell me I've been doing this all wrong? DAMN.

Dr Neo Lao · Post by **Dr Neo Lao** » Wed May 02, 2007 2:33 am

Harem = Bad idea.

Multiple Wives = Multiple Mother-in-laws

Multiple Wives = Multiple Father-in-laws

IF (Harem > around 20) THEN {Individual Harem Member} set to "UnHappy"

IF (Harem Status = "UnHappy") THEN (Nookie = No) AND {Headache} set to "Massive"

Pimpette · Post by **Pimpette** » Wed May 02, 2007 6:44 am

HOW did I miss this thread the first time around?

Also... how does one go about obtaining enough harem women to fill a CITY?

There's an accomplishment.