Honest Criticism & feedback, please?

[Mayihelpyou]

Hi.. I have a comic, http://mayihelpyou.comicgenesis.com and it really is a labor of love for me. I've loved many online comics for about the past 6 or 7 years now.. and I started this one, not really knowing what I was doing, but just trying NOT to make major mistakes.

I tried to do a very simplistic art style, relying on very simple and subtle visual cues as to emotions and for the storytelling. I work full time and am a full time mom, so I wanted to do it in such a way that I could competently create a storyboard in the smallest amount of time possible. I had originally intended for it to be gag-a-day, but I'm finding that some things are becoming 3-6 page storylines that could be carried over.

I could really use some honest criticism about the style, storylines, everything really. Thanks for your time.

[Black Sparrow]

I understand the time issues thing, but.... I'm sure you know that copy-pasting panels is a pretty big taboo in the webcomic world. Judging from your defense in the post, you expected something like that, at least. I'm not going to be snooty about it; a lot of gag-a-day comics get by pretty well on copy-pasting. It's just something to be conscious of in case you ever decide to take this to the next level. If you ever have the time or energy, try drawing a strip from scratch and playing with camera angles (because the fact that they're almost always front-on is very noticeable), especially if you find yourself swinging toward stories. Then again, you said it yourself that you don't have the time for that sort of thing, so it's understandable.

On the other hand, I really like your expressions. They get the point across nicely. Your gags hit more often than they miss, too, even though I'm not familiar with the medical scene. Drawing style's pretty good too. Fairly unique, and cute. Overall, I like it; it's quality stuff.

[Mayihelpyou]

Drawing style's pretty good too. Fairly unique, and cute. Overall, I like it; it's quality stuff.

Thank you.. and no I didn't realize it was that taboo.. I must admit, I have a bunch of strips already done up and I have been drawing more.. but again, time constraints. I have about three to four hours a week to actually work on this. And I was really using old cartooning style as a guideline, like Tom and Jerry which reused many props and scenes.

Thanks for the feedback.. I really appreciate it, and it gives me something to think about.

[Thereforeiam]

I like the fact you managed to update at all! It's a notch above some comics. Including me. Just one new thing, aside from the previous C&C: is the blonde one a girl? I can't tell.

[Mayihelpyou]

I like the fact you managed to update at all! It's a notch above some comics. Including me. Just one new thing, aside from the previous C&C: is the blonde one a girl? I can't tell.

Thank you very much, but online comics really is a labor of love for me. I used to collect comics about 10 years ago, and it just got too expensive.. and then my husband turned me onto Megatokyo about six years ago, and I've been an addict ever since. This has been a pip dream of mine to do for about two/three years now.
I would like to put more variety into it..

and yes, Blondie is a girl.. The figures are very asexual, but that is derived from the simplistic style. On the gallery menu, there is some of the early conceptualizations of the characters. Thank you very much for the feedback and if you see anything else that may need tweaking, please let me know.

[Mayihelpyou]

If you ever have the time or energy, try drawing a strip from scratch and playing with camera angles (because the fact that they're almost always front-on is very noticeable), especially if you find yourself swinging toward stories.

I will make mention that I do have a storyline coming up that I drew a LOT more into (my lovely treefrogs) with a couple of different camera angles, so that had already been noticed in my mind, at least at a subconscious level. I would like to do more with this, and I've even noticed that when I draw, I'm getting faster at it.

Thanks!

[Adobedragon]

You know, I don't mind the copy-pasting all that much--at least not on a gag strip. But, here's a suggestion that came to mind as I looked at the latest page. Very cute, btw. You totally nailed the gesture of the kitty hanging happily in his person's arms.

Any-way, looking at the first two panels, which are identical. How about making a tiny change to the second panel? You could leave everything else the same, but just have the kitty's tail curled down and to the right. That would show the very characteristic way cats flick their tail and add a bit more personality to the panel. Wouldn't take much time since all you'd have to redraw would be the tail and part of the step.

Similarly, you could change small key features in many of your pages and still copy-paste most of it.

[Mayihelpyou]

You know, I don't mind the copy-pasting all that much--at least not on a gag strip. But, here's a suggestion that came to mind as I looked at the latest page. Very cute, btw. You totally nailed the gesture of the kitty hanging happily in his person's arms.

Any-way, looking at the first two panels, which are identical. How about making a tiny change to the second panel? You could leave everything else the same, but just have the kitty's tail curled down and to the right. That would show the very characteristic way cats flick their tail and add a bit more personality to the panel. Wouldn't take much time since all you'd have to redraw would be the tail and part of the step.

Similarly, you could change small key features in many of your pages and still copy-paste most of it.

Thank you! That's the plan, I guess I just missed doing that in that panel.. There's another panel that first features the cat in the archives, where i tried to make the cat the focal point by just changing the cat's position..

I should have checked that more carefully.. and I think I'm going to try to have more original items in each of the panels.. Learning process. Thank you for pointing that out.

[KODAMA]

relying on very simple and subtle visual cues as to emotions and for the storytelling

err.. how is this comic simple and subtle?
The facial expressions are highly exaggerated and the comic does ont feel simple at all due to the use of very heavy bold colors. I feel more confused and perplexed reading this comic than subtlety.

[Mayihelpyou]

err.. how is this comic simple and subtle?
The facial expressions are highly exaggerated and the comic does ont feel simple at all due to the use of very heavy bold colors. I feel more confused and perplexed reading this comic than subtlety.

I felt like it was more simple because I used a very heavy lineart and more primary colors.. I felt the expressions were more subtle because I only used a few facial/hand expressions to convey story lines. I'm sorry you didn't find it that way.. To help me, what exactly confused and perplexed you?

[Ladycheru]

I think that the art style is very cute. ^^ It's okay if it's not too terribly detailed, so long as it's just pleasing to look at.

I can say that storylines are a really good way to go. This is the biggest reason I like webcomics and extremely dislike comics in the paper. In the paper, it's all gag-a-day stuff. There's only so much you can do with that without setting up a situation before it gets boring.

I agree with Black Sparrow in that you shouldn't copy-paste all your characters/panels. I wouldn't call it "taboo" per se. I mean, you can do it. It just makes it kind of boring. I mean, I began reading your comic from the beginning, and about halfway through, I wasn't really reading; I was just clicking. Repetitive panels can actually be used for effect, and are often used in a slow-paced scene, when something boring is happening. Take this for example. This is a good example too. In both of these strips, something mundane or tedious is happening in order to build up the puncline. Both of these are pretty funny. However, I don't think I'd really like to read with Jackie and Ada in front of Ada's counter all the time.

I can understand that it's not as easy to draw 6 panels by hand when you have 50 things to do. Try spreading out the release dates in this case. For example, I'm in way over my head with 16 credit hours and 5 days of school/week. Because of this, I decided to only release a comic once a week.

Also, try writing some stuff that wouldn't be released in normal comics in the paper. Take your first 2 comics. Those are pretty funny, because it's not something you might expect. Then, after that, the gags become rather common, making them cute, but not quite "funny." (One of them actually reminded me of Cathy. NEVER be like Cathy. She sucks. Wow, that came of a bit rude, didn't it? ^^;; Maybe I should stop writing in parentheses now...) Stupid people are always a good way to go. There are so many options when you're talking about stupid people, especially when you've had these encounters in real life. Example 1. Example 2. Of course, that was kinda easy to find, being that JoBeth is the epitome of stupid. Still, jokes about stupid people (especially overexaggerated and with your own twist) are always funny. These are not your average comic strip jokes, and that's what makes them all the more funny. Not to say you should only write about stupid people, but it's just an example of something different good to write about. On top of that, your comic takes place at a doctor's office. There are tons of stupid people there.

Wow, I'm quite wordy, aren't I? The more and more I use these forums, the more and more I find this out... Random. Anyway, I don't mean to sound rude, or mean or anything. I always feel that way, which is why I don't cirticize most things. However, I think your comic has a lot of potential, and if you try working on some of these things, it can be really good!

Happy drawing!! :D

[Mayihelpyou]

I think that the art style is very cute. ^^ It's okay if it's not too terribly detailed, so long as it's just pleasing to look at.

Thank you so much! that's what I was going for, something that just got it across and wasn't too detailed.. but I'm discovering the more I do storylines, the more actual drawing I'm doing.

I can say that storylines are a really good way to go. This is the biggest reason I like webcomics and extremely dislike comics in the paper. In the paper, it's all gag-a-day stuff. There's only so much you can do with that without setting up a situation before it gets boring.

I tend to like the gag-a-day, but there's only so many gags I can think of at a time. I'm a HUGE fan of vaudeville, and that was more the way I originally wanted this to go. But, storylines are coming whether I want to do them or not..

I agree with Black Sparrow in that you shouldn't copy-paste all your characters/panels. I wouldn't call it "taboo" per se. I mean, you can do it. It just makes it kind of boring. I mean, I began reading your comic from the beginning, and about halfway through, I wasn't really reading; I was just clicking.

That's helpful. Thank you! And thank you for the examples.. I haven't been cutting and pasting as much as I was in the beginning.. but it's just all i can do sometimes.

I can understand that it's not as easy to draw 6 panels by hand when you have 50 things to do. Try spreading out the release dates in this case.

Well, I originally did two a month.. then I stepped it up to once a week. During the week of October, because I wanted to get my ghost story out before Halloween, I stepped it up to three times a week and got such a good response I am continuing that through November. December 1st, though, I'm going to have to go back to once a week. I just can't keep up, especially with working some overtime and the holidays coming up. Good luck with school!

Also, try writing some stuff that wouldn't be released in normal comics in the paper. Take your first 2 comics. Those are pretty funny, because it's not something you might expect. Then, after that, the gags become rather common, making them cute, but not quite "funny."

Yeah, that's my feeling. They're "cute". And I didn't really want them to be that way. I figured the ghost storyline wouldn't be normal, and my husband said I should have really drawn that out over more time.. I just get so excited about it, and start posting it to the website just because I'M so excited about it..

Still, jokes about stupid people (especially overexaggerated and with your own twist) are always funny. These are not your average comic strip jokes, and that's what makes them all the more funny. Not to say you should only write about stupid people, but it's just an example of something different good to write about. On top of that, your comic takes place at a doctor's office. There are tons of stupid people there.

LOL.. Jokes about stupid people are always funny.. I want ChiChi to be the equivalent of stupid, but more of a "just in another world" kind of ditz. I'm hoping as I create more of these, that comes out more. My main problem with that, people I know are reading these and are looking for themselves in them.. mainly because they know ChiChi is me. So they figure that everyone else in the comic is someone I really know.. which isn't true. So, i have to be real careful about how I post stuff.. also, I work in the medical field, so again.. i have to be real careful how I portray something that happened or someone might be screaming HIPAA!!!!! and I really don't want to get that. But I can't help it.. this stuff happens (well, most of it) and I find it incredibly funny.

Thank you so much for a detailed criticism. It's very appreciated and is very VERY helpful. I checked out your examples and I see exactly what you're saying. Gives me some food for thought on how to improve my stuffs. Thanks so much!