Critique needed; my baby-faced dew-eyed comicling

Bluebettle · Post by **Bluebettle** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 2:54 pm

My site is here, something I started while doodling at work

http://www.cardshopcomics.com

Monopolyoftruth · Post by **Monopolyoftruth** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:09 pm

i liked the writing on this comic, but the stick figure art of it made it hard for me to want to carry on reading.
you should either think about learning how to draw (assuming that you don't know how, sorry) or getting an author. You should also change the way in which its presented, the way that you're using power point in order to get the panels is also amatuerish, there are many good programs that you can get free to help with this.
eeerm, hope this helps, you should definately look at improving the points i've mentioned because they really let the quality of the writing down.

LibertyCabbage · Post by **LibertyCabbage** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 4:31 pm

ooh, miami =o i live in boynton beach

anyways, i'm not digging the comic. either learn to draw, or team up with someone who can. i can understand the dadaism of it but there's 5,000 comics out there that are the same exact thing. if you want people to like your comic then you have to put a lot of time and effort into it. your writing's decent, but not nearly good enough to carry a stick-figure comic.

Bluebettle · Post by **Bluebettle** » Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:11 pm

I'm conflicted because even though every review thread I posted in, people suggested I work at the art, (this is not to say I don't take your comments seriously) at the same I have a hard time seeing the dry style of humor of the strips working as well if I where to have the art more polished. What I felt made my comic work was that it had a real thin fourth wall; the characters weren't really supposed to be "characters", just mouthpieces for the author. The concept behind Cardshop Comics is supposed to be a story about some guy who can't draw or design websites really well but still has frustrations that he needs to blow off. (similar to how the real ultimate power book really isn't about ninjias, but about a pathetic boy who writes a book about ninjias as a way to escape)

Obviously if it's completely asecticly unpleasing to people I need to do something about it, esp. considering how over-done stickman comics are, but I really don't see how I can approach that problem without walking too far away from the initail concept of the strip.

Black Sparrow · Post by **Black Sparrow** » Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:30 pm

Bluebettle, the reader knows best.

While the stick-figure style may fit the mood... this stick figure style is rather uninteresting. It's flat black and white (with some flat color), is generally sharp, has NO line variation, is obviously made in a Paint program because of the pointies on diagonal objects, and uses copy-paste several times a strip. You need to find a way to spruce it up, at least, if you intend to attract readers long enough to appreciate the writing. I really don't think you have much chance otherwise.

Doll · Post by **Doll** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:15 am

I have to disagree that the strip would lose it's humour if the art were better. I'm not even saying lose the stick-figure thing per se, just that if you make it a little more aesthetically pleasing (same goes for the site design) you'll probably attract more readers.

LibertyCabbage · Post by **LibertyCabbage** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:53 pm

like i said, i understand the minimalistic approach you're taking. it's just that the internet is completely flooded with crap by untalented people who can't be bothered to spend more than 5 minutes making a comic.

the important thing about being avant-garde is that you have to be original. had you made this comic 10 years ago when the idea of webcomics was a new concept then maybe the style would have been more interesting. however, this is 2006 when everyone and their dog has a webcomic. if you wanna stand out, you have to be willing to work hard at it. you need QUALITY.

if you're serious about making a webcomic, then show it. don't be surprised if you spend a few minutes drawing some shitty stick-figures in mspaint and people don't like it.

edit: ditto with what OBS said.

Jin-roh · Post by **Jin-roh** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 5:50 pm

I have to agree with everyone else here. Stick figure comics are for junior high study hall. I don't think most people are going to stick around for Grade A quality writing if the comic is drawn little effort.

Regarding Avant-Gardes, I think that kind of violates the Genre of the web-comic. When I think of Webcomics, I think "Pop-art" I don't think "Focoult." Minimalism is fine and it can look good, but when I glance at your strip that isn't what I see.

Endofdayspress · Post by **Endofdayspress** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 9:37 am

If you are unable to draw anything better and are just looking for a graphic mouthpiece, you might try photo assemblage style comicing. Do some Google searches for things that fit the theme of what you want to say, maybe run the images through some filters.
Stripped down images can still convey the mood you're going for. Photo manipulation software can product some nice results with little time and effort.
I would personally recommend discarding the stick figures all together. I'm never interested enough in them to even bother and see if the writing is worth while.

DancingChaos · Post by **DancingChaos** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 4:18 pm

Yeah, like how everyone else said: learn how to draw or get someone else to do it/help you with it.

Also, you should really put more time into it. It shouldn't be something that you just 'doodled at work'. Comics show creation; they show how imaginative people are. They also change people. It's deeper than you think.

LibertyCabbage · Post by **LibertyCabbage** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 5:16 pm

i make comics so i can trade them for cocaine

Forcet · Post by **Forcet** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 5:59 pm

DancingChaos wrote: They also change people. It's deeper than you think.

Then again, there are plenty of "not-so-people-changing" and "not-so-deep" comics that are pretty darned fantastic. Such comics focus on the art of entertaining an audience. But, I have to agree with the rest of the replies that any comic should show visible signs of personal effort, whether it be concerning the writing or the art, both preferably.

Even simple, surface-deep, gag comics should be decently aesthetically pleasing (Keeping in mind that standards vary depending on the target audience).

DancingChaos · Post by **DancingChaos** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:53 pm

Hehe, I know. It's just you should put some time into drawing your comics, that's all I meant. I got very carried away