MY COMIC - Critique please!

Think your comic can improve? Whether it's art or writing, composition or colouring, feel free to ask here! Critique and commentary welcome.

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Doust19
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MY COMIC - Critique please!

Post by Doust19 »

http://greatwide.keenspace.com

It's crappily drawn and pompously presented! Please critique! :D
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CodeGuy
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Post by CodeGuy »

There's not really a lot to coment on yet.

The birds are a little funny, but the annoying one is too annoying. You could have cut the "Oh God!" sequence in half and gotten the point across just fine.

I like the style of your characters, but not the squigly lines.

Mainly, there's just not much to comment on yet. Make sure you bump this thread to the top after you've got 2 or 3 times as many comics done. It'll be easier to judge then.

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Taiwanimation
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Post by Taiwanimation »

Story: I'd speed up the pace of plot, every other page is filler material that doesn't move the plot forward much or generate humor.

Artistic: Background should in blurry while foreground crisp. Otherwise it looks out of focus. Great job in having backgrounds, they're important!

Technical: The indextemplate page and dailytemplate page have different colored backgrounds. I'd go with the black one, this integrates the comic with the page better. As there's not much webpage clutter now (keep it this way if you can) it works well. The Jan. 5 page with the L-shaped layout looks odd though.
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Doust19
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Post by Doust19 »

I'm still learning the ropes. First time webcomic... long time since I've drawn a comic of any form. They should get better quality as I go. Just tryin' to get the feel for now. :P
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CodeGuy
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Post by CodeGuy »

Oh, don't worry about it. We wouldn't be criticising if we didn't have faith that you'll improve. :D

ZOMBIE USER 17021
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Oh.

Post by ZOMBIE USER 17021 »

So that's why no one gives me decent crits. Ahhhhhh . . .

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Plothole
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Post by Plothole »

There is also the fact that nearly everybody hates you... :roll:

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What?!

Post by ZOMBIE USER 17021 »

Only <i>nearly</i> everybody? I've been too lenient!

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CorruptDictatorNumber2
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Post by CorruptDictatorNumber2 »

What I noticed from looking at the two most recent pages:

Maybe scratchy outlines are part of your style, but they shouldn't be. They just make it look like you don't know where the lines should actually be.

Also, backgrounds should not be so obviously computer-drawn when the characters are hand-drawn (maybe you're using a tablet for the characters, but that doesn't change the fact that they're still hand-drawn.) Even if a building is made all of straight lines, don't use the line tool; draw it by hand. It'll look much looser (note: looser does not mean crappy and rushed) and it'll fix what feels like a discontinuity between the characters and the background.

Indeed, good for you for including backgrounds! They is so very imporrrrtant. Mmmm-HMM!

But yes, bump your topic once you've got a good amount of pages, otherwise we'll all just be nitpicking on the artwork on one or two pages (*cough*) rather than commenting on your comic as a whole or commenting on (gasp!) the story.

Yee-haw!
haaaave you heard the news that you're dead

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Taiwanimation
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Post by Taiwanimation »

Try reducing the size of the images, sometimes this makes stuff look better.
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Lana
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Post by Lana »

The outlines are too fuzzy - make them thicker but crisp
standartise the layout - has recognition value
use focus more - make the important part of the panel bigger


other than that good start :)
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