Concept sketches.

Think your comic can improve? Whether it's art or writing, composition or colouring, feel free to ask here! Critique and commentary welcome.

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Yeahduff
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Concept sketches.

Post by Yeahduff »

I'm working on a short comic series I hope to get printed (don't worry, it'll probably find it's way on the web (though you probably weren't worried (or interested))). It's called "Who the Fuck?" and it's basically me making a comic about all the things I'd never make a comic about. So there'll be a buncha sex and violence and foul language and drinking and blasphemy and a lot of other fun stuff that Eight to One does not have. The main character is a hard drinking chainsmoking guntoting knifeweilding nymphomaniac with absolutely no concept of morality. She's not a character so much as a cartoon. We'll call her Mercedes for now. I was doing concept sketches at work with ball-point pen and I was wondering what you all might think about this. I want this to be kinda cartoony, but I don't know how cartoony it should be. So here are three distinct sketches. Which do like the most, what do like about each one, what would you change, anything else you can think of.



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Thanks.
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Post by Nutcracker »

I second one is the coolest. She looks evil and her head is smaller than in the 1st sketch. And she needs a litte more messy hair :)

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Post by Eunice_P »

Definitely the second one. Although the design does kind of reminds me of One Piece.

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Post by Jackhass »

Uhhh...yeah, I somehow doubt anyone's going to publish a comic called "Who the Fuck". Generally such langauge is kept off the covers of most comics/books and so on.

As for the pictures...not bad, although her face could use more developing. He body is redered fairly realistically so her simple exagerated face doesn't really seem to fit with it. Plus she could use a sexier wardrobe.
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Post by Wp »

Second one by far. It has the appropriate attitude for your description of the character. The first has such a bland, vague pose. The third seems too timid. Can't wait to see the final version if these are only concept sketches!

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Post by Yeahduff »

Thanks. Me too.

Clearly I'm thinking of self-publishing or putting it in an independent anthology. I don't plan on the title being on the cover at the moment. Of course, Dan Clowes had a short thing he called "Needledick the Bug Fucker," so I think I'll be all right either way.

As per your advice, yeah, I was leaning toward the second one. I worry, though, that it's too comic-booky. I don't know what this One Piece is, but if it's a serious action drama type thing, maybe that's a bad sign. The first one is supposed to have a very large head, though her body was supposed to be more simple. This is all supposed to be an exercise in absurdity, so I was wondering if REALLY cartoony was the way to go.

As for her wardrobe, what do you suggest? I do need her sexy, but I'd really like to avoid her looking like a bimbo.
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Post by Wp »

yeahduff wrote:Thanks. Me too.

Clearly I'm thinking of self-publishing or putting it in an independent anthology. I don't plan on the title being on the cover at the moment. Of course, Dan Clowes had a short thing he called "Needledick the Bug Fucker," so I think I'll be all right either way.

As per your advice, yeah, I was leaning toward the second one. I worry, though, that it's too comic-booky. I don't know what this One Piece is, but if it's a serious action drama type thing, maybe that's a bad sign. The first one is supposed to have a very large head, though her body was supposed to be more simple. This is all supposed to be an exercise in absurdity, so I was wondering if REALLY cartoony was the way to go.

As for her wardrobe, what do you suggest? I do need her sexy, but I'd really like to avoid her looking like a bimbo.
Er... it might be worse in your opinion. One Piece is a manga (although a very unconventional looking manga). It has serious moments, but I would call it more action-comedy in a very slapstick way. The only reason why I think it might look like One Piece is because of her eyes, and maybe if you drew her a bit thinner.

In my eyes, the first drawing looks Sunday newspaper cartoony, the second is more comic-booky (like you said), and the third one is more your original style (at least I think). Perhaps you could give us more information on the kind of mood you hope to establish with your new work?

As for her clothes, I would say what you have is okay. If she's going to be sexy and dangerous, a simple black dress usually conveys appropriate attitude. Of course, then she might end up looking like Aya Brea from the Parasite Eve games. In general, I would suggest a slightly sluttified modification of some sort of classy formal wear (whatever that means).

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Post by LibertyCabbage »

I like the second one the best. The first one has a big head which makes her look younger than she should be (because kids have big heads, or so I hear.) I like the way the third one's drawn but her expression and demeanor don't match her description. The second one looks sadistic, manipulative, thrill-seeking, and reckless.
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Post by Taiwanimation »

I like the first one, it 's got the head and eyes big enough to convey that absurdity you're looking for.

So far as wardrobe goes #1 fits your description best - it's the sleeves vs. straps things.
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Post by Yeahduff »

The comic is an absurd, almost pulpy sorta thing. It's not really action based. She's less a skilled assassin and more a gun-toting psycho. She's not impressed by much, and she's not likely to go through the entire story with a serious sourpuss expression on her face. If you've seen The Last Seduction, I invision her to be Linda Fiorentino with wild mood swings and a drinking problem. It's a comedy, but more in a surreal, absurd vein than just gags and wisecracks. The more I think about it, the simpler the art should be. The first one doesn't work like I want it to, but it probably is the closest, as badass as the second one looks.

#1's wardrobe is what I was thinking about, too.
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Post by Col »

I say go more abstract/cartoony. As you said, it's supposed to be an absurd story, so I think it should have an absurd look to it. Plus, it could make for a good challenge to try to use a different style for character design and such. The more different it looks from real life, the more out there you can go with the art style. EDIT: And due to that thought process I have of where I think you should go, I think the first sketch is the best.

Keep us updated on your progress. Interested to see where it goes.

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Post by Yeahduff »

Hm. I was thinking. I have different ideas in my head about different scenes in the story and many of them are in different levels of cartoony. Does anyone think it'd be a terrible mistake to have many different styles coexisting in the same comic? I think it would match the semi-schizo personality of the title character, but is it an awful idea?
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Post by Sortelli »

I think that would be a great idea, especially if you tie it into the theme and what is happening at the moment.

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Post by Col »

It depends. Try it and see how it turns out!

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Post by TheSuburbanLetdown »

yeahduff wrote:Hm. I was thinking. I have different ideas in my head about different scenes in the story and many of them are in different levels of cartoony. Does anyone think it'd be a terrible mistake to have many different styles coexisting in the same comic? I think it would match the semi-schizo personality of the title character, but is it an awful idea?
A lot of Manga does that I think. Sorta. I say go for it and see how it turns out.
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Post by LibertyCabbage »

I just got the idea that it could be something like Betty Boop.

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Post by Yeahduff »

That would be rather subversive, but I need the kinda girl a guy could plausibly sell his soul for.

I'll keep you posted.
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Post by Yeahduff »

After some thought and a slow day at work, I've come up with more concrete ideas. I've gone more with original drawing A and developed that a little. Here are some results.

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My favorite is in the bottom left corner of the first one. Do you think these work?
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Post by Col »

Interesting. I agree about the one in the left hand corner on the first page grabbing attention. Probably because you put more detail into it, but it does have a stronger design to it. I also like the drawing you have of her being angry or yelling. I like the idea of her having huge outbursts or something like that. Overall, these are much stronger ideas, and I think it's a good direction. One of the things to consider is why she dresses the way she does. I don't think I remember her wearing pants in any of those drawings, and one has to wonder why she does this when she's involved in whatever activities occupy her life.

I don't know if any of that helped, but thanks for providing more drawings.

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Post by LibertyCabbage »

I like the top right of the first page (reminds me of the style in Godlike ) and the bottom left in the last page. I like how see looks innocent but she's really a maniac. The one you said you liked best looks too slutty to me.
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