* World War II Comic * New Page, New Subject Line...

[Twconstantine]

Here is page 6 pencils. Critiques please!

[Vulpeslibertas]

Nice work, I hope this is going to be in the same genre your other comic is in. Personaly, I think the color is a little day-glow for WWII, but that's something that's very dangerous to change once you've set it.

The German who gets shot could use a bit more lean, or posing or something, he's just kinda standing there. Your running GI's have it, the fluid off-balance posing that makes them look more like they're moving. Shot people should look more like that, IMO.

[Twconstantine]

Thanks for the comment! If you're asking if this is in the Supernatural realm, like the Gun Fighter's Life, then yes, but this comic is only going to be about 10 pages long... Stay Tuned!

[Nomadic Phoenix]

Excellent. Completely amazing. However, like someone mentioned, when you go from sketches to inked/colored, you lose alot of the effect that should be there when doing a WWII comic. Now, here's what I think would be awesome...keep the colored version...but overlay the sketchy one over top of it and make that half faded in a way that makes everything seem chaotic, old, and (most importantly) as though everything was shaking or something. *Shrug*...I dunno...it might work, it might not...it's up to you.

Other than that...*points to pool filled with drool*...that's your fault, mate.

[Twconstantine]

Awesome tip! I'll try it and post here!

[Twconstantine]

Here is a test...



I put the pencil back in, and added some grain and dust to the background color. Opinions?

[Twconstantine]

Here are pages 2 and 3 with the pencils added back in...

[Nomadic Phoenix]

That's an incredible improvement in my opinion. That adds a large amount more detail that isn't there. See, half the awesomeness is that I have to fill in the details based on the sketchy part. If you just have the inked version, everything is cut and dry...you know where everything begins and ends. However, with things like this, this allows my imagination to go wild in terms of filling in the details. That, my friend, is something that made your comic go from w00t to uber 1337.

Can't wait to see the rest!

[Twconstantine]

Here is Page 7...I'm at the point now in my creative process where I'm sick of the first few pages. What I'm thinking is that the first page needs to be redrawn with the bottom panel from a lower angle. What do you think?

Page 7

[Vulpeslibertas]

A lower angle would put the reader closer to the ground. As it is, with a bird's eye view, it gives your reader a better idea of the whole situation. From a lower angle, they'd get less understanding, and would look at the world more from the GI's point of view. With the way you're builing the suspence, and what I think you're getting at, I would go low. Through the whole comic, I would try to show a GI point of view in every angle of every scene. That limit's the readers understanding/perception of what's going on to what the GI's know.

However, if you stop and re-draw every panel of every page of every comic you draw, you'll never get anywhere. What you've got works just fine, and unless you feel really ambitious, I'd keep it. Once released to the public, I never revise anything unless it actually works directly against what I'm trying to achieve, or I get physically ill when looking at it.

EDIT: PS, I like the scketchy versions, they look more true-grit battlefield-dirty.

[Levi-chan]

I expected the final versions to be a bit more gritty, Trace. Dirt, debris. Assorted splinters of wood, etc. But that's just me.

If you are going to change to final panel (which I strongly suggest /against/), a lower angle that accentuates the lower bodies would be kinda cool. Combined with visual cues for movement (i.e., Dirt flying off boots, helmet straps flying), it can be a bit more dynamic. It's like a less-corny replacement for speedlines in comics.

[B5fan]

I really like the pencils being put back in. It gives it a bit more grittiness. This is awesome.

My only critical advice: rethink the 10 page limit deal. This has potential.