New manga idea. Opinions?

[Sakibou]

A boy, no more than twelve years old at the time, lost his parents and younger sibling. He will never forget that day for as long as he lives, nor will he ever forgive those who caused it...

The story begins, however, ten years after this devestating tragedy. A young girl by the name of Aya, a third year in high school, could never have predicted the horrific events that were destined to occur that year, no more than anyone else could. It began late one night, around midnight to be exact. A song, one of which no one in the town was yet familiar, began to fill the streets. The classical-sounding music was soft at first; so much so, in fact, that it could easily have been assumed a figment of one's imagination. But soon, the haunting tune began to grow louder, and louder, and louder still. So loud the music became that one could almost miss the bloodcurdling scream. Almost.

The first killing was enough to put the entire town on edge. The second put nearly everyone in an omnipresent state of paranoia. The third terrified people to the point of not wanting to leave their houses at all; not wanting to allow any visitors. Then came the fourth, the fifth, the sixth...and the town was officially declared to be in a state of emergency. The song associated with all of these deaths eventually came to be referred to as the Mage's Song; the very mention of this deadly tune could stop a person's heart cold. But the man responsible, the Midnight Mage himself, could cause far worse.

Aya was no different than the other people of the town. If there was ever a dire need for her to leave the house, she did so with tremendous reluctance. And never, for any reason, did she leave the house after dark. That is, until one night when she recieved a call from her grandfather, informing her that her mother had been hospitalized. Her grandfather pleaded with her not to come to the hospital until the following morning, however, but Aya refused. Her mother had been quite sick for some time, and there was simply no telling if she'd even make it through the night.

Her love for her mother, her only remaining parent due to her father's death nearly three years previous, far outweighing her fear of the dreaded Mage, was what gave Aya the courage to leave her house that night. It wasn't until her progress was halted by a pair of officials that the recently set curfew, one of may steps that the town had decided to take in an attempt to protect its citizens, ocurred to her at all. Nothing she said, however, was enough to convince the two officials to step aside. Reduced to tears, but knowing full well that she was defeated and seeing no other choice, Aya began to return home...but again her progress was halted. This time by a man she didn't at once recognize.

The man asked her where she had been headed and she told him, though reluctantly and not without at least a little suspicion. What happened next nothing short of amazed Aya. When politely asking the two officials to stand down proved ineffective, this man, whom Aya had never met, stating that he had no other choice, knocked both men unconcious with a single blow. Indeed, it almost appeared as though he hadn't touched the men at all.

Though she hadn't seen his face, Aya knew that this man couldn't possibly be anyone other than..."You're the Midnight..." she began, her voice shaking, but she was almost at once cut off by the man in question, who replied, "You may call me Kirin. I expect you won't run into any more trouble on your way to your destination." And, just like that, he was gone.

True to his word, Aya encountered no more officials along her way to the hospital. 'Shocked' didn't even begin to describe how she felt towards what she'd just whitnessed. How could someone who had killed who-knows-how-many people, for no apparent reason, possibly feel the need to help someone, especially a young girl who, at the time, had been completely vulnerable? And the fact that he'd told Aya his name...It didn't make any sense at all. Could there possibly be more to this man than what she'd seen, what she'd heard, what she knew? She had no way of knowing for sure, no more than anyone else did. But, unlike everyone else, Aya would find out the truth soon enough...

[Joel Fagin]

Hm. Maybe. I'd probably give it a go. Execution's a lot more important than the plot, though.

That's font's a bit small, by the way.

- Joel Fagin

[Johndar]

It seems like a pretty cool and mysterious story, I would deffinately give it a shot.

[Black Sparrow]

This would probably work, especially in that zany world of manga.

But as Joel said, execution is more important that plot. You won't really know how it will work until you draw it out.

[Joel Fagin]

This would probably work, especially in that zany world of mange.

There's a pun there but I have to go terrorise students just now.

- Joel Fagin

[Biev]

Whether or not I would read it really depends on the art. My eyes are picky.
v(' ')v

[Twotimingpete]

I said no. And the reason is because you said the character lost his parents and sibling at a young age. I stopped reading shortly after that.

You might want to rethink your plans to tread painfully, painfully, painfully overdone/cheesy story conventions.

Not to mention anime characters that are all teenagers for some reason and have names like 'Aya'. I realize this may be a norm, but why not do something a little bit creative for once? Mix things up? Inject some of your OWN, you know, thoughts and tastes into it, even if it is intended to be a manga. Have some thoughts as an individual instead of burping up every manga/japanese RPG/etc you've ever seen without anything of your own to contribute.

If you need to regurgitate a bunch of overdone story concepts and anime things, so be it, but what makes or breaks that would be the art. Don't bring just the story concept here, it won't mean much.

At the end of the day, in this medium what will really determine whether or not most people will read it is the artwork, and then the actual pacing/execution of said story, and in that order.

[Sakibou]

Actually, Kirin (the one who lost his parents) isn't a teenager...He's over 21 years old. Of course, that isn't that far beyond teenage years, but the fact still remains...As for using the name 'Aya'...It's really only a placeholder name. I needed a name so I used the first to come to mind. It'll most likely be changed, later.

You are certainly not the first to tell me that someone losing their family is overdone. That is the basic premises for Kirin's actions, but there is certainly more to it than that.

Before saying that everything in my story is something derived from other sources, you really should read the rest of the summary...You can't simply read a few sentences and then assume that the entire thing is a cliche remake of this anime, that manga, some RPG, etc.


Anyhow...Thank you all for your opinions. If and when I manage to locate an artist for this (I myself and one of the world's worst artists)...Well, I'll make it clear just how far from a cliche this idea of mine really is.

[Joel Fagin]

You can't simply read a few sentences and then assume that the entire thing is a cliche remake of this anime, that manga, some RPG, etc.

In fact, it's good that he did. One of the most important things you can do as a writer is to grab the reader from the first line (or frame in the case of a comic). If Pete isn't inspired to read further, then other people may also not be.

Yes, they should probably all give your coic a chance, but there are a lot of comics out there. Grabbing them is better.

I should also warn you that finding an artist is hard. Drawing is much more work than writing and it's a huge leap of faith to sign on with an untested writer. However, I wish you the best of luck.

- Joel Fagin

[Johndar]

If you like my art, I might consider doing it. Just send me some scripts and character descriptions. I'll do a few sketches and see if you like it.

I'm deffinately not a sure thing tho, as I'm already doing a comic. Your story intrigues me however, so if I can find the time for two comics...

[Joel Fagin]

If you like my art, I might consider doing it. Just send me some scripts and character descriptions. I'll do a few sketches and see if you like it.

Oh, thank you. Yes, just prove me a liar why don't you? Tch.



- Joel Fagin

[Sakibou]

That's very true and a good point. I'm not the best at writing summaries, but I'll try and make the actual comic grab readers early on.

You don't have to tell me that finding an artist is hard...x.x
I've lived through that experience, and it certainly isn't a fun one. As a matter of fact, I've still yet to find a (dependable) artist for another comic of mine. Though, I may actually put that one on hold in favor of this one. Perhaps whichever manages to grab an artist's attention first.

I'm not entirely sure that I agree that drawing is more work than writing. I'm a writer (of short stories and poems, mostly), and it's not always an easy task. Though, I suppose that writing is more mentally taxing, whereas drawing is more phyisically taxing.

Either way, thank you very much for the good luck! It seems to have paid off already...xD

I shall get back to you, John!

[Johndar]

lol sorry Joel. I've been pondering the idea of pairing up with a writer for a 2nd comic awhile now and this sounds like a story worth drawing imo. I just don't know if I can handle two comics so we shall see.

[Joel Fagin]

I'm not entirely sure that I agree that drawing is more work than writing. I'm a writer (of short stories and poems, mostly), and it's not always an easy task. Though, I suppose that writing is more mentally taxing, whereas drawing is more phyisically taxing.

I do both. I think the difference is that with writing, a lot of it is planning and plotting, which can be done in your head, on the bus, on the way to work. Drawing involves much more "sit-down and actually do work" work.

There are also less shortcuts. "It was a busy day in the city" is easy to write but very detailed to draw. You need crowds, buildings, shop windows, displays, buskers and so on.

Or, to put it another way, you can't rely on the imagination of your reader to fill in the gaps for you.

- Joel Fagin

[Twotimingpete]

my brother does the majority of the writing for the comics we've done. Trust me, he can churn out quite a few pages in a couple hours. 1 page can take me between 15 and 30 hours to illustrate.

[Black Sparrow]

I'm not entirely sure that I agree that drawing is more work than writing. I'm a writer (of short stories and poems, mostly), and it's not always an easy task. Though, I suppose that writing is more mentally taxing, whereas drawing is more phyisically taxing.

Most of us here are both. I write stories whenever I'm not drawing my comic. Yes, it is mentally taxing to write (curse you, writers' blocks!) but drawing is also mentally taxing, and very time-consuming. Each page of my comic takes me five minutes to write, then SIX HOURS to draw.

Also, be nice to your artist to try to make this work. Talk to him/her so that the artist can give you feedback on whether something is too difficult, or whether something just won't work on page. Try to lay out the panels as much as possible for the artist while still giving him/her some freedom. This is difficult, I know. Though, come to think of it, I once gave my artist too much feedback, and he ended up with the entire comic.

[Twotimingpete]

yeah, if you're working with an artist, it's usually nice if you can attempt to make simple storyboards to show him how you want the page laid out and paced. Although some artists would prefer to do it themselves or will have modifications to make, I think a lot would find it helpful. I usually do the storyboarding from a script that was written with little thought given to the paneling/page layout, so I have to try to interpret it and cut it up so that it fits onto a page. And that's quite mentally taxing.