Please Critiqe My Comic

Cyborg771 · Post by **Cyborg771** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:06 pm

I am currently waiting for my password to come in so I don't have a site yet but I have three comics uploaded already so please take a look and tell me what you think. I am not too proud of the first two but I believe that I made quite a leap with the third one. If you only read one, make it the third one.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v317/ ... omic/1.gif
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v317/ ... omic/2.gif
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v317/ ... omic/3.gif

Laundromatcomics · Post by **Laundromatcomics** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:09 pm

Your comics aren't bad, but clearly you didn't read the rules for this section, located here.

Cyborg771 · Post by **Cyborg771** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:28 pm

Sorry, if a moderator can move this to the appropriate place it would be much appreciated. Thanks.

Cyborg771 · Post by **Cyborg771** » Sat Jul 29, 2006 11:34 am

Thank you for moving it. So now, can I get a critique?

Jackhass · Post by **Jackhass** » Sat Jul 29, 2006 1:18 pm

They're mildly amusing (particularly the 2nd and 3rd one) and you can write dialogue fairly well.

That said the whole videogame, nerd-topic focused comics have been done to death. There's literally hundreds if not thousands out there. You do put a bit of a unique spin on it by having the actual systems talk to each other, but I'm sure plenty of people have done that too. You may want to focus your efforts towards something more original.

Also, while it hard to say from just 3 comics...but are you planning to have any returning characters? If you're not going to have a regular cast of characters to make people care about your comic you better be very damn funny and well, these comics aren't really at that level of funny. Very few people can get away without having characters to fall back on...if you have a regular cast you don't have to be hilarious all the time, people will just enjoy seeing the characters interact.

As for the art, it's fine for what you're doing...although the weird jaggedy borders in the first two comics are kind of ugly.

Cyborg771 · Post by **Cyborg771** » Sat Jul 29, 2006 1:51 pm

I know that the genre is a bit overdone but it's kinda all I know enough about to do a comic on. As for the returning characters I was planning to come up with some for maybe the fourth ir fifth comic, I have some idea of an over arching storyline as well. The main reason I don't have any yet is because I have a bit of a hard time drawing people and I sorta want a human cast. And those jagged boxes will not be making another appearance.

EvilChihuahua · Post by **EvilChihuahua** » Sat Jul 29, 2006 6:59 pm

Cyborg771 wrote:I know that the genre is a bit overdone but it's kinda all I know enough about to do a comic on. As for the returning characters I was planning to come up with some for maybe the fourth ir fifth comic, I have some idea of an over arching storyline as well. The main reason I don't have any yet is because I have a bit of a hard time drawing people and I sorta want a human cast. And those jagged boxes will not be making another appearance.

You don't need to be an expert on something to make a comic. Your own experiences are usually enough. Though if all your funny stories about yourself start with "yeah, so I was playing such-and-such..." then a gaming comic was probably the best choice.

And I actually think going for talking gaming devices was a good choice. It stops you from being another "couple of geeks playing video games" comic.

Cyborg771 · Post by **Cyborg771** » Sat Jul 29, 2006 11:18 pm

I was thinking that for my reoccouring characters I would either practice until I can draw humans or choose a selection of the consoles adn such I am drawing. What do you think would be the best path. On the one hand the talking consoles would keep it original but on the other hand, I don't want to many characters so every console making an appearance would be too much. I also want to represent non-gaming scenerios like music and movies.

FLittle · Post by **FLittle** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 3:15 pm

I am partial to your talking consoles, actually, as opposed to a human cast. One idea is to add in a TV so that you can still have discussions/jokes about movies and such. You could have the TV talking to it's receiver or to the Nintendo, and perchance an iPod or stereo to take on the music role.

Just remember EvilChihuahua's excellent point about the talking consoles putting you a step away from the myriad PA clones out there. Your style also reminds me of Kawaii Not, which you may do well to look at for tips on a cleaner vector graphic-type art (though I think your dialogue is good the way it is - I wouldn't try to imitate the Kawaii Not jokes). Also, try doing your panel boxes on the computer so they're cleaner - if you have Photoshop try the rounded rectangle tool just to soften the panel edges a bit (since consoles have hard edges).

Cyborg771 · Post by **Cyborg771** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 4:01 pm

Actually, one of my sketches has a talking ipod in it. I just have to colour it. And I like the TV idea. I think that I will use that one.

Biev · Post by **Biev** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:12 pm

Actually I liked your first two strips better than the third, though it's probably because I find it hard to care about transformers. Either way, I don't think you should try to make it too flashy. I'll go with the majority and recommend you use machines as characters, especially if you have a hard time drawing people, though even if you pick an NES for a character, don't let it restrict you to Nintendo jokes (or videogame jokes for that matter).

As a general rule it will help if your characters have clashing personalities and aren't completely sane.

Cyborg771 · Post by **Cyborg771** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 9:07 pm

Wow, I was really surprised to recieve such good feedback. Thanks guys.

Zem · Post by **Zem** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 10:02 pm

Yeah, I liked the first and second better too, just because I don't think feces are funny.