Can this one be saved?

Postby Scatman on Sat Jan 05, 2002 7:11 am

Remember the strip I asked for input on? The one about Andy being afraid he'd go nuts on a snowy day? Well, I think I've got that one figured out. Look for it in the coming weeks.<P>Now for a real challenge: In one of my more desperate moments, I drew a strip consisting of three panels:<P>Panel 1: Andy sitting at table with plate of indistinguishable food in front of him. Andy looks disgusted and thinks, "Blech!"<P>Panel 2: Andy scraping food from plate into garbage can. Again looks disgusted and thinks, "Blech!"<P>Panel 3: Garbage can with thought balloon: "Blech!"<P>I didn't like this one as I was drawing it. Any ideas on how to save this one? I'm thinking of making this a regular segment called: "Save Our Strip!"
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Postby Yupyop on Sun Jan 06, 2002 6:27 am

Why is Andy alone?<P>Panel One: Family at dinner.
MOM: I tried something different for dinner tonight.
ALL THREE MALES AND THE DOG: Blech!<P>Panel Two: Later. Mom putting the rejected food down the garbage disposal.
GARBAGE DISPOSAL: Blech!<P>Panel Three: The garbage disposal spits the food out covering Mom's face. To panel left is her word balloon. Panel right is her thought balloon.
HER WORDS: Its not that bad!
HER THOUGHTS: Blech!
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Postby GregCartoonist on Tue Jan 08, 2002 10:04 am

I think I like your first version. What is it that bothers you about it?
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Postby Scatman on Wed Jan 09, 2002 7:19 am

There were a couple of things that bothered me. First, is the whole setup reasonable? As Yupyop picked up on, I didn't know why Andy was alone at the table. If he wasn't alone, could he get away with throwing away a whole plate of food? Am I overanalyzing as I know I'm prone to do? When I read the comics, I know I have to put reason aside once in a while. I guess I owe myself the same luxury, but is this one too much of a strech?<P>Also, it was too easy to do. Does this happen to anyone else? If a strip is too easy to draw and write, I feel guilty and think that it must not be good. So it's hard for me to disconnect myself from this one. Does this one need more work or am I just being neurotic, as I know I can be?
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Postby GregCartoonist on Thu Jan 10, 2002 5:52 am

Oh, for heaven's sake. Draw the thing and show it to somebody. If they chuckle, put it on the website. If they look at you funny, then put the cartoon on the bulliten board in your studio until you glance at it one day and the solution comes to you in a glorious flash.<P>I think you ought to just do it and post it, my ownself.
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Postby Yupyop on Thu Jan 10, 2002 6:10 am

I agree with Greg that your gag is fine. Andy could be alone in the house and the food could be an after school snack his Mom left him.
It is easy to overthink gags. Now is the time to just do it and see how we react.
As for the current storyline I didn't understand why the mechanic seemed so angry at Lester and his truck. You'd think having a customer like Lester would make him smile.
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Postby Scatman on Thu Jan 10, 2002 12:00 pm

I guess cartoonists are a neurotic breed, and I'm probably neurotic even amongst the neurotic. You're right that this is the time to try ideas and see how they fly. The few dozen people who read the toon understand that I'm looking for input and have been pretty nice about it.<P>Anyhow, the mechanic isn't angry, he's just one of those no-nonsense guys. I thought his deadpan expression would convey a contrast to Lester's emotional attachment to the truck.<P>If I start to sound too insecure, send Patton over to give me a good smack.
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