Where is Helena?

Scruffie · Post by **Scruffie** » Wed Nov 20, 2002 10:28 am

I'm wondering where helena, one of the most interesting people on this board, has gone... she hasn't posted in ages...

I'm BORED!

PhantomDMR · Post by **PhantomDMR** » Wed Nov 20, 2002 1:51 pm

I was wondering the same thing myself. She hasn't been posting avidly for months, course neither have I, but nobody misses me that much! But i have an almost interesting story to tell that may keep you amused for ten seconds. I take a bus out to my community college coz i hate to drive and the bus is easier. The road my college is on has a notorious reputation for accidents (4 people were killed on it last week for example) and it lived up to it today! The sun was hitting a stop light at the bottom of a hill and the bus had a hard time stopping, but the bus driver got it under control, stopped before the white line, turned around and asked everybody if we were okay and began explaining about the light. About 7 seconds after we stopped for the light, a red truck that had a trailer full of dry wall behind it slammed into the back of the bus. It pushed us fifteen feet and took him 178 feet to stop. Needless to say i was late for school and now my neck and back hurt, but it was an interesting start to my morning!

ZOMBIE USER 3288 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 3288** » Wed Nov 20, 2002 2:48 pm

*starts up the Helana Signal*

Glick Glidewell · Post by **Glick Glidewell** » Thu Nov 21, 2002 10:35 am

What that story was missing was Helana having lesbian sex
See what you can do about that.
I still talk to Helana on the phone fairly often, and she seems to be doing well. But she is only online like once a week.
Hopefully she will have some more stories to regail us with soon.
Maybe after Fuzzball we could start The Helana Saga! 8)

PhantomDMR · Post by **PhantomDMR** » Thu Nov 21, 2002 11:25 am

hmmm...okay, let's see. After the accident the girl sitting next to me and I decided this would be the prime time to have sex with each other and then the whole bus had a mad orgy...better?

Scruffie · Post by **Scruffie** » Thu Nov 21, 2002 1:36 pm

I liked it. It was showy without being austentacious. I give it a 9.7.

Helenas always got a perfect 10 though... but, hey, your pretty high up.

Now Kane, regail us with YOUR lesbian tales!

ZOMBIE USER 3288 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 3288** » Sat Nov 23, 2002 4:09 pm

Now, everyone on the bus was an attractive female, right?

PhantomDMR · Post by **PhantomDMR** » Sat Nov 23, 2002 10:59 pm

could it have happened any other way? It was a bus full of young, nubile, terrified co-eds who had the immediate reaction after being in a bus accident to have an orgy....what a porn set up that would be....

Glick Glidewell · Post by **Glick Glidewell** » Sat Nov 23, 2002 11:49 pm

That reminds me of <i>Mallrats</i>:

BRODIE
But my cousin walter jerked off in public once. True story.
He was on a plane to New Mexico, when all of a sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control.
So he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there.
So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all the sudden, the hydraulics kick back in and the plane rights itself. It lands safely. And everyone puts their pieces or whatever away and deboard.
And nobody mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.

GIL
Well, did he come or what?

BRODIE
Jesus christ !
There's just some things you don't talk about in public!

ZOMBIE USER 3288 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 3288** » Sun Nov 24, 2002 3:14 pm

Porn... set up? I'm confused...

Scruffie · Post by **Scruffie** » Mon Nov 25, 2002 9:25 am

SssH! In Angelos world porn doesn't get 'set up', it's real.

Kane, you haven't regailed us with your lesbian tales yet!

PhantomDMR · Post by **PhantomDMR** » Mon Nov 25, 2002 1:29 pm

oh, i see, in angelo's world my updated description of the bus accident was a realistic scenario that happens in everyday life....what a strange and interesting world you live in angelo...

ZOMBIE USER 3288 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 3288** » Mon Nov 25, 2002 2:41 pm

No, I was confused by the concept of "setting up" porn, probably because all of my porn tends to be of the internet mpegs that - for the purpose of keeping memory small/downloads short - skip straight to naked people without any sort of explanation.

PhantomDMR · Post by **PhantomDMR** » Mon Nov 25, 2002 9:39 pm

ah, i see, porn on video can actually have a whole plot related to people having sex with one another. it can be quite amusing or quite disturbing depending on your viewpoint....

Teckgirl101 · Post by **Teckgirl101** » Mon Nov 25, 2002 9:58 pm

*sings* guys and poor-orn... guys and poor-orn... goes together like a horse and carriage...

Scruffie · Post by **Scruffie** » Tue Nov 26, 2002 10:47 am

You can do a lot on this forum, but you can't YOU CAN'T just go and butcher Frank Sinatra like that. It makes me cry.

Are yuo saying that girls don't like porn? All the guy porn spam that I get through hotmail could prove you otherwise.

ZOMBIE USER 3288 · Post by **ZOMBIE USER 3288** » Tue Nov 26, 2002 3:05 pm

*sigh*

Who wants to explain to Scruffie the intended audience of guy porn?

Glick Glidewell · Post by **Glick Glidewell** » Tue Nov 26, 2002 3:16 pm

Ok...

When a boy likes another boy, but that boy thinks he's too good for him, the first boy relishes in your email. Stupid second boy with his whole "I'm seeing someone...you just don't know them." Like anyone really believes that. Christ what a prick. And he's all like "But we can still be friends." And then he doesn't call and he ignores my emails. God what a prick.

I mean...

um...

I hope that helped, Scruffie.

PhantomDMR · Post by **PhantomDMR** » Tue Nov 26, 2002 4:01 pm

speaking as one of the girls in this forum, yes, some girls like porn, but most of us just don't care to publicly advertise it in the blatant way that guys do

...kane, i'm a little amused by that rant

Teckgirl101 · Post by **Teckgirl101** » Sun Dec 01, 2002 1:51 am

i apologize for the Frank Sinatra butchering... i'll stick with bashing Christina "I'm a skanky ho-bag" Aguilera if that's okay with you guys.

as far as porn goes, i'd like to say that upon driving thru San Francisco recently, there are 2 things that scare me indubitably... 1) crazy people. 2) porn.

not to say i won't look/watch the 2 aforementioned phobias, i just simply avoid them. paint me pink and call me weird.