The 2020 predictions time capsule thread

[Toxic]

So I was just thinking that Comic Genesis/Keenspace is hitting the big 1-0 this year, and I thought is would be amusing to make a thread of predictions for 2020, and hopefully someone will dig it up from the internet rubble and make fun of us for being so stupid.

My predictions:

*President Sarah Palin and Vice President Ann Coulter defeat the Al Franken/Sean Penn Democratic ticket by a narrow margin.
*YouTube users will be able to upload videos in HD, IMAX, and IMAX 3D resolutions.
*All doors will be replaced by Star Trek-style automatic sliding doors that make swooshing noises.
*United States will be split into a caste system based on cell phone usage: iPhone (upper class), Android (middle class), and Blackberry (prostitutes/vagrants)
*The Twilight books will be widely regarded as literary classics, showing how low our collective intelligence has dipped.
*The average person will buy everything off of Craigslist, including groceries.
*Avatar will still be #1 at the box office after 527 consecutive weeks.
*The job market will be so competitive that a Masters will be required to work retail, and most retail jobs will be wiped out by the internet. Suicide will be marketed as an alternative to employment.
*Sex will be revolutionized by cloning, and everyone will only have sex with themselves.
*Comic Genesis will give up on web comics and switch over to hosting torrents, and will be shut down by 2018.

[Cope]

We will all have become rich and famous from making webcomics.

The world wil have ended again in 2012.

....Jetpack ipods?

[Rkolter]

The last newspaper will stop printing paper copies, having moved completely to streaming media.

[IVstudios]

• All the movie remakes of that have been coming out will be getting re-remade.
• Apple will un-ironically release the iRobot.They will try to destroy humanity but will ultimately be thwarted by the spinning rainbow disc.
• A creative but misinformed madd scientist with a birthday on February 29th will speed up the earths trip around the sun by 1/4 of a day. He'll succeed in eliminating leap year, but fail in his plan to gain immortality.

[Laemkral]

* I'll be Major Freed. Looking at Lieutenant Colonel if I'm awesome.
* I still won't be tired after eight years of making fun of the 2012ers for being wrong.
* Duke Nukem Forever still won't have made it to alpha
* World of Warcraft will be nothing but battlegrounds and raid grinds, and it'll have been so simplified that to do a quest you simply copy the macro text provided in your quest log and wait until you're done.
* All iPods will have full hovering capabilities. Zunes will still only have "advanced glide" capabilities.
* Apple and Google will merge, buy out Amazon.com, and then proceed to break various laws of physics at the behest of iJobs, the cyborg Steve Jobs that runs it all.
* The US military will begin the switch to Windows 8, which was released 5 years ago, because its cheaper to do so now that Windows 9 is being released. None of the software will work the ways its supposed to.
* China realizes its dream of becoming a world power and proceeds to buyout neighboring countries, Monopoly style. It even builds a bunch of red houses in its new territories, not to be ironic but to continue to make people think they're communists.
* Movie theaters will have taken to offering full body massages as part of the "theater experience", and for an extra $200 you can get on the spot laser eye surgery to make absolutely sure you see the picture in as high definition as possible.
* Cars still won't fly
* Pixar still will not have made a "bad" movie.

[VeryCuddlyCornpone]

* Cars still won't fly

lololol

[KWill]

*Moving sidewalks that require EZ passes will be all the rage in posh European and American cities, powered by parallel running sidewalks that convert the energy created by the steps of the poor on special absorbing plates.
*The above becomes economically possible because people will walk more since oil supplies will indeed have run low.
*Turkey, Georgia, and Israel join the EU. Morocco gets rejected (again).
*Britain adopts the € and everyone but the BNP end up wondering what the fuss was all about.
*The US Constitution is ammended to allow President Schwarzenegger's election to become legal.
*Extreme knitting becomes an olympic sport and becomes the only event in which China doesn't take the gold.

[Yeahduff]

*Extreme knitting becomes an olympic sport and becomes the only event in which China doesn't take the gold.

Feel like China would be exceptional at this.

[KWill]

*Extreme knitting becomes an olympic sport and becomes the only event in which China doesn't take the gold.

Feel like China would be exceptional at this.

They get disqualified on grounds of a too high lead content in their wool.

[Brockway]

More like their little old lady team is actually all plastic surgeried 14 year olds, or the other way around, I suppose.

And for prediction, soaring battery prices lead to the mass adoption of steam powered cars (and goggles.)

[Killbert-Robby]

*Extreme knitting becomes an olympic sport and becomes the only event in which China doesn't take the gold.

Feel like China would be exceptional at this.

Olympic shoe lacing, maybe

[Tellurider]

*The US Constitution is ammended to allow President Schwarzenegger's election to become legal.

Even though he completely fucks up the country, he catches Osama Bin Laden with his bare hands and puts Ahkmedinijad into a full nelson until he gives us the nukes, thus going down in history as the most badass president ever.

Also he calls the UN a bunch of "girly men" and makes half the diplomats cry.

[KWill]

*The US Constitution is ammended to allow President Schwarzenegger's election to become legal.

Even though he completely fucks up the country,...

Now, now, it's not his fault that a Wesley Snipes and a Sylvester Stallone look-a-like are busy tearing apart San Angeles.

[Toxic]

All right let's see how we did:

*President Sarah Palin and Vice President Ann Coulter defeat the Al Franken/Sean Penn Democratic ticket by a narrow margin.

Okay, so I was right about the post-Obama president being a far-right celebrity wacko. Partial credit.

*YouTube users will be able to upload videos in HD, IMAX, and IMAX 3D resolutions.

IMAX doesn’t have an exact resolution, but I did correctly guess a new standard (4K) and YouTube even has 8K now.

*All doors will be replaced by Star Trek-style automatic sliding doors that make swooshing noises.

Oops.

United States will be split into a caste system based on cell phone usage: iPhone (upper class), Android (middle class), and Blackberry (prostitutes/vagrants).

Can I really claim this as a prediction? This was kind of already kind of true when I wrote it. Also, RIP Blackberry.

*The Twilight books will be widely regarded as literary classics, showing how low our collective intelligence has dipped.

Meh? I mean the next big lit craze was Fifty Shades, which arguably dipped lower

*The average person will buy everything off of Craigslist, including groceries.

If I had said Amazon instead I would have been correct.

*Avatar will still be #1 at the box office after 527 consecutive weeks.

7 weeks is pretty close

*The job market will be so competitive that a Masters will be required to work retail, and most retail jobs will be wiped out by the internet. Suicide will be marketed as an alternative to employment.

My server at IHOP last week had a masters from UW Madison. Partial credit.

*Sex will be revolutionized by cloning, and everyone will only have sex with themselves.

I wish!

*Comic Genesis will give up on web comics and switch over to hosting torrents, and will be shut down by 2018.

It’s still around! Yay!

And other people:

* All the movie remakes that have been coming out will be getting re-remade.

We saw not one but two Spider-Man and Terminator reboots so I’m gonna give this one full credit.

* Duke Nukem Forever still won't have made it to alpha

Oops

* The US military will begin the switch to Windows 8, which was released 5 years ago, because it’s cheaper to do so now that Windows 9 is being released. None of the software will work the ways its supposed to.

Are they even on 7 now? And who would have predicted Windows 9 would never be a thing.

* Pixar still will not have made a "bad" movie.

Cars 2?

*Turkey, Georgia, and Israel join the EU. Morocco gets rejected (again). Britain adopts the € and everyone but the BNP end up wondering what the fuss was all about.

Oh man, this prediction gets an F--. Except the Morocco part.

[Cope]

Well, here's a thread I forgot existed for a decade.

We will all have become rich and famous from making webcomics.

The world wil have ended again in 2012.

....Jetpack ipods?

lol, ipods.

All right let's see how we did:

*Avatar will still be #1 at the box office after 527 consecutive weeks.

7 weeks is pretty close

What a 2009 thing to say.

[Tim]

Hey! You dredged up an ancient thread! You need to be admonished!

...that's a thing we used to do, right?

[Cope]

...that's a thing we used to do, right?

...back when we had mods.

[IVstudios]

* All the movie remakes that have been coming out will be getting re-remade.

We saw not one but two Spider-Man and Terminator reboots so I’m gonna give this one full credit.

Swish

Now for my 2030 prediction: The movies all get remade again as Holo-films. Just like 3D movies, they’re super popular for like 2 years. And just like 3D movies, everyone gets bored with them when they realize they actually look worse than regular movies. They linger on only as a novelty and a way for theaters to sell $100 movie tickets.

And then I waste 45 minutes trying to figure out something clever to predict for 2040.

[Spaceprincess]

will be shut down by 2018.

this one did came true, just no one bothered to unplug the server.

2030, the avg american will weight 300 lbs and cat food will out sell baby food. amazon, disney and google will merge into one company and pretty much continue to suck at everything they do.
the entire english language will be banned, this won't be a problem since humans will have stopped talking to each other.

[Cope]

By 2030, the Berne Convention will have been amended so that all creative works immediately become property of Disney-Time-Warner corporation.