Laemkral wrote:I barely got any sleep last night, but it was absolutely worth it to stay up until almost 4AM talking and holding a girl in my arms. I like where it is going.
"All I ever wanted, all I ever needed is here in my arms, words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm."
I am in a weird position right now. We were only supposed to be friends (she's pretty much a lesbian, except with me TMI probably), but she has a lot of baggage... metaphysical type stuff that probably sounds nuts but I believe what I see, and it makes sense to me.
So I been helping her heal, and I got attached, and personal connections like that when dealing with wayward spirits and entities of this nature tend to be problematic, as you put in to much of yourself and energy work gets tainted. we'd been hanging out a bit to much and doing things that make people get attached... and I lost sight. It'd been a while since I had true feelings. I'm a friends with benefits kind of person, as I find it hard to fall, but human failings and that.
Four months have gone by and at first I helped, and then when she confessed attraction and that, well I think I lost my ability with her. Well monday she talked to me after I left for work from her place. Things seemed normal and fine. come tuesday she canceled her facebook, plus and twitter accounts. and won't respond to my txts. Which is fine and good on a personal level. I mean, she didn't mention why or what I did... it could have been me doing a security look up job on one of our mutual friend's accounts due to a hack and I took money from it (mainly cause if I didn't I'd not be eating)... but again its fine. I'm alright with her just being tired of me or what ever.. I'm a lot to take in even when someone doesn't have their own stuff.
Here's the issue... I been focusing on separating my affections and sorrow of her pulling away so I can focus on healing her again, even apart I can do energy work. And well I got a lot of information on what her ailment is, and I need her to know... but at the same time she obviously doesn't want to talk to me. But getting rid of this thing is her top priority. I wrote an email but, I haven't sent it. I edited out all the emo type shit my brain kept putting in there... its very much just an academic precursory bit about what I saw, what I think it is, and how best to deal with it moving forward.
Given that, I'm scared to send it... and part of me wants to abandon the energy work. But she is still my friend, but beyond that she is someone who needs help. I just don't know if I should say fuck it and send it knowing she'll probably delete it. Or if I should maybe go to a mutual friend who is also a magician and talk to them.
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