Joel Fagin wrote:The only unusual thing about the contract, really, is that they wrote it in language you can understand.
There's easy to read, and then there's racism, condescending language and weasel-worded mumbo jumbo. What kind of moron agrees to work for someone with that level of 'maturity?'
I'm going to pull out the best legal contract I've ever read: the EULA for Unreal Tournament 2004: The only legal document that's actually pleasant to read.
http://www.epicgames.com/ut2k4_eula.html
1. Thanks. Congratulations and thank you for licensing our software. We're sorry to cramp your style, but out lawyers tell us that if we want to keep control and ownership of the cool stuff we're developing, we have to make sure you understand and agree that you are just buying a right to use it and that that right is limited in certain ways. So what follows is what you need to know and agree to.
Polite, isn't it? No need to be rude, or to cuss anyone.
4. Use Restrictions. We want you to enjoy our products for years to come, and we want to be able to continue to make awesome games, so you need to be aware that there are some things you cannot do with the Software. The Software contains copyrighted material, trade secrets and other proprietary material. You may not decompile, modify, reverse engineer, publicly display, prepare derivative works based on the Software (except as permitted in Section 8, below), disassemble or otherwise reproduce the Software. Except as set forth herein, you may not rent, sell, lease, barter, sublicense or distribute the Software. You may not delete the copyright notices or any other proprietary legends on the original copy of the Software. You may not offer the Software on a pay-per-play basis or otherwise commercially exploit the Software or use the Software for any commercial purpose except as described in this agreement....
The main crux of the issue gets straight to the point and still manages to lay down the rules.
5. CHEATING. Nobody likes a cheater. It's a disgraceful way to earn a win and really is an insult to those players who earn their wins in on-line games the old-fashioned way-WITH TALENT. We're pretty hard on cheating in on-line games using the Software because it sullies the overall gaming experience and is JUST PLAIN LAME. With that in mind if you are caught cheating in an on-line game using the Software we will immediately and permanently ban your CD Key. At that point this License Agreement is automatically terminated and you must immediately delete this software from your PC. Failure to comply with this last bit (deleting the software) may bring on the wrath of the lawyers. Trust us.you don't want that.
Straight to the point...
13. Enjoyment Requirements. We are aware that there are rumblings and grumblings within the gaming community about heavy handed, legally onerous license agreements. You have our word that this one is as fair and even handed as it gets and, as you have read this far, you know it to be true. Now, be gone from this screen and enjoy the Software, including the UnrealEd.
And a brilliant addenum. It's not unreasonable to write a document that is legally valid but lays down the law in a simple and easy-to-understand method. True it increases the length of the document and can be dangerous if it is liable to interpretation, but it doesn't insult anyone's intelligance and is easier to understand. Isn't that what legal documents should be about?