Rebirth of Webcomic Above Discussion

Eve Z. · Post by **Eve Z.** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 1:16 pm

a short review of Strange Happenings is up on page 6!

it can get edited in the future, when I'll be able to think of more.

Arkaina · Post by **Arkaina** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 2:42 pm

spqrblues wrote:A review has been posted for Arkaina.

Thanks a lot

I was thinking of doing a proper chapter prologue and editing some of the dialogue in some past chapters, maybe add in an extra page or too to help explain some things. I recieved a review earlier that pointed out a lot of the same things you did. I'm wondering if it's too tacky to edit like this, or should I just try covering my tracks later on?

Spqrblues · Post by **Spqrblues** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 3:06 pm

arkaina wrote:I'm wondering if it's too tacky to edit like this, or should I just try covering my tracks later on?

The web is so fluid and impermanent, I don't see why you shouldn't go ahead and change pages if you feel like it. You could post something to let people know pages have been changed; but nothing is set in stone or on a sheet of paper, so I say, evolve all you want. (But, of course, don't feel pressure to make changes you don't want!)

Arkaina · Post by **Arkaina** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 3:18 pm

Oh no, I'm fine making the changes. I'm clearly not a writer, so the story makes complete sense to me and I end up leaving things out, or I just don't think to explain why so-and-so said this. Again, thanks for the helpful review.

Duralict · Post by **Duralict** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 4:30 pm

Review of SPQR Blues is up.

Spqrblues · Post by **Spqrblues** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 5:59 am

duralict wrote:Review of SPQR Blues is up.

Thank you much for the review. The art is something I'm always working on improving--poses, gestures, facial consistency. Might help if I drew a little larger with more space to work with; but it was already hard making myself draw in these gigantic two-inch panels

Addressing problems with, well, lacking "heart" is harder, because I just don't see it. (Maybe I'm just too cold a cucumber myself?

) I'm going to try, using your review as a guide, taking another look at the emotional levels of the story.

Getting away from all the stoic soldiers now, in chapter 3, might help... we shall see....

ETA: I should comment about the palette. I'm not practiced in colouring strips digitally, but occasionally I enjoy trying. Skintones are a challenge for me to get right digitally, and I often forget to look at the images reset to how they would appear on other monitors, so that I can strike the right balance. Bright reds, garish greens, crazy yellows, and other clashing colours on the walls are in keeping with the times, though. I get all fired up in depicting that, but maybe if I can figure out how to mute the people in those settings it'll be clearer.

Shadows? But... it's always overcast. Even indoors... yup...

Vorticus · Post by **Vorticus** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 9:08 am

Thank you El for the review.

Jesslynstormheart · Post by **Jesslynstormheart** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 11:24 am

Necropolis review is complete.

Duralict · Post by **Duralict** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 9:30 pm

spqrblues wrote:Shadows? But... it's always overcast. Even indoors... yup...

Heh!

I feel I should clarify about the color scheme, though: the coloring in-comic looks pretty good, and I really like the palette you use in the comic. I was complaining about the website's color scheme - bright red and yellow are extremely high-contrast colors, and tend to leech attention from the comic, especially on the main page. Of course, I'm a big fan of everything being incredibly dark and low-contrast, so take that with a grain of salt!

jesslynstormheart wrote:Necropolis review is complete.

Thanks for your review! (And mrdaveryan for yours, too - I don't think I ever actually responded to it, heh) You both raised a few of the same points, and it's given me some great food for thought. Especially about drawing women, and some of the weaker points in the plot.

The reason they come across masculine is because their eyebrows are thicker than average and their jawlines are broader.

I've spent literally hours tweaking the jawlines trying to make them look right and that's something I'll get better at doing right with practice, but it somehow never even occurred to me to look at the eyebrows. It seems so obvious now. Looking at some of the pages, you can even see the eyebrows get progressively bigger in each panel. That's a weird and uncommon mistake to be making all the time. I'm unique!

You've also got a point about the flow. Doing full pages every few days means it's really easy to think I've led into something just because I've been thinking about it for a few days. I'm going to have to train myself out of that - does anyone else have problems with it? How do you get around it? Drawing thumbnails, reading your archive before you start layout...?

Anyway, thanks again for the crits!

Hallonpress · Post by **Hallonpress** » Tue Mar 06, 2007 1:28 am

Eve Z. wrote: thanks, there aren't many people who do this.

Seriously? For me, it was just the kind of art to catch my interest.

Eve Z. wrote: well, actually, you're kind of wrong here. I DID gave them different outfits:
Spade 1, the old model and Spade 2 the so-called 'advanced' one, which was disabled:

well, Newton is particularly insane and that's why he steps a bit out of line with his creations and their weird looks.
and I don't want to offend you, but... the Spades were many of my reader's favourites.

I can understand that they are the favorites of many. They are cool characters, who make up one of the most interesting parts of the story. And I can kind of understand the reason that they look they way they do - it makes Newton seem creepy to have built them like that (especially combined with the way he treats them), and that's not a bad thing.

As for the similarity of their clothes... I'm sorry I was unclear. I did notice that their outfits weren't exactly the same. What I meant was that they were too much alike for me to easily distinguish them. I used the collars to tell them apart because those were visible in most of the panels, even the close-ups. I think all characters should be instantly recognizable, and the Spades weren't for me - sorry. One easy solution would have been to make their clothes completely different colors, like blue and red. But, since they have that gothic look, that wouldn't work, right?

So, to have goth characters isn't a problem in itself, it just becomes one in this case because it limits the choices you have when designing them (dark dresses, black hair...), making them look more alike.

I hope I'm making sense. I don't know the first thing about goth stuff, actually.

Eve Z. wrote: it's not lack of technical abilities, what you're talking about. it's just my lack of patience. I'm only lazy, that's all.

Whoa. I'm not saying you are a bad artist! Far from it.

Look at it this way:

I don't believe in talent, I believe that your abilities depend on how much effort your are willing to put into practicing them. If you think it's boring to draw perspective for example, then you won't practice, because you won't have the patience to do so. Which in turn will result in a lack of technichal ability.

Just like I don't have any patience for drawing muscular "heroic" male characters. I have no clue how to draw muscles in an anatomically correct way. So I stay away from that as long as I can.

Heck, I used to hate drawing perspective myself.

Eve Z. wrote:Nope. I'm not an English speaker. Even though you're not one either and if you say that I have grammar mistakes 'all around', I'll invite you to make some corrections. Now, really. I need help!

Haha!

Actually, I would have liked to help too. I just don't have the time to do so. Too many things in my life already - sorry.

Eve Z. wrote: I planned to make this comic 40 chapters long. Do you people want me to tell EVERYTHING about the characters in the first episodes? All things about Nigel's past and all reasons will come out in the future. That's the main idea.

As I said, I don't want to be fed all the details at the beginning, and I do believe that everything will be clear before the end. I just thought that some things should have been brought up at this point that are still left hanging. But I may be a little picky.

-Mattias

Eve Z. · Post by **Eve Z.** » Tue Mar 06, 2007 4:12 am

hallonpress wrote:

Eve Z. wrote:Nope. I'm not an English speaker. Even though you're not one either and if you say that I have grammar mistakes 'all around', I'll invite you to make some corrections. Now, really. I need help!
Haha! Actually, I would have liked to help too. I just don't have the time to do so. Too many things in my life already - sorry.

Well, about corrections... I took a look at my old stuff (ch 1 and so) and I noticed my errors.yup, I admit, they are many!

If I were able to notice them, then it means my English has improved somehow. An still going strong.

I wrote them on notepad and I'll begin editing them next week.

Hallonpress · Post by **Hallonpress** » Tue Mar 06, 2007 5:15 am

Eve Z. wrote:
hallonpress wrote:

Eve Z. wrote:Nope. I'm not an English speaker. Even though you're not one either and if you say that I have grammar mistakes 'all around', I'll invite you to make some corrections. Now, really. I need help!
Haha! Actually, I would have liked to help too. I just don't have the time to do so. Too many things in my life already - sorry.

Well, about corrections... I took a look at my old stuff (ch 1 and so) and I noticed my errors.yup, I admit, they are many! If I were able to notice them, then it means my English has improved somehow. An still going strong.

I wrote them on notepad and I'll begin editing them next week.

That's great!

I love it when you suddenly realize that you're better at something, without actively trying to get better. Happens a lot when making comics.

-Mattias

McDuffies · Post by **McDuffies** » Tue Mar 06, 2007 10:19 pm

Sparrow can report to her review!

I think I can kiss my review by Dragonkingdoms goodbye, though.

LibertyCabbage · Post by **LibertyCabbage** » Tue Mar 06, 2007 11:27 pm

Jackhass wrote:
LibertyCabbage wrote:
Jackhass wrote:Less jawin' in the the discussion thread LC, more reviewin' my comic in the actual thread...[gets out my whip] *WHI-PASH*! Get crackin'!
http://www.kleenex.com
[Blows my nose and hands it back to you].

EW GROSS.

Anyways... I guess the Zoology review is up, or something. I was kinda tired and distracted but hopefully I got everything in there I wanted to.

McDuffies wrote:I think I can kiss my review by Dragonkingdoms goodbye, though.

Eh, I guess I'll volunteer to review LWK since I've been wanting to read it anyways. I'm going away for a few days, though, so maybe DK will return soon and say something. But, if not... sure, I don't see why not.

McDuffies · Post by **McDuffies** » Tue Mar 06, 2007 11:59 pm

Well, you don't need to feel obligated. It's a matter of chance after all, and it's not like everyone gets their reviews in the end.

Jackhass · Post by **Jackhass** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 4:28 am

Thanks for the positive review LC! It's also one of the meatiest ones I've ever recieved which is appreciated.

Glad you like the art and it's nice to know you actually noticed the stuff I do with the backgrounds and whatnot. I do fiddle around with the darkness, lightness, shape of certain panels and little effects quite a bit, but I kind of assumed it was something most readers wouldn't really notice. But then, they're not really designed to call attention to themselves like you said.

As for the comic being mostly male oriented and the females being thinner characers, I admit it's true. I try to write them in a realistic way and avoid making them mere stereotypes, but well...I'm not a woman so I can't get fully into their heads like I can with the male characters, nor am I that interested in trying since I don't really feel it would be honest. It'd be my educated guesses at how women think/operate...whereas with the male characters it's how I *know* they operate. Also a lot of the comic revolves around girls as confusing creatures and objects of unrequited love. For instance, you're often supposed to be as baffled by Laura's actions as Angsty is in their storylines...I intentionally didn't go into a particularly deep explanation of why she leaves him then subsequently comes back to him. You know and can guess as much as Angsty can.

I have tried to reverse things a little with the Rose character...her relationship with Baker is the unrequited love thing reversed and with her being moved to the other cage she has to stand on her own in her storylines without any male characters. So we'll see how that goes.

I understand you concerns about holiday comics...I find they can be a bit predictable/lame when newspaper comics do them myself. Thing is, I do a bunch of Valentines comics around Valentines...my hits double. People seem to genuinely like to read Christmas/Halloween/Valentines comics at their respective times of the year. So hey, who am I to deny 'em.

As for swearing...my characters are too fucking cute to swear dammit!

You're pretty much the first person to notice a racial angle to the Shandy/Baker stuff. Not to say it isn't there necessarily...you're just one of the few to notice it (or perhaps one of the few bold enough to bring it up).

So, I guess this depressed loser guy and depressed loser girl relationship is fun to see develop because it's both realistic and problematic.

Plus there's the novelty of having two octopus characters in a Comicgenesis comic going out without there having been a single tentacle sex reference made!

As for the Female Zookeeper seeming to be too flawless...well it's partly intentional. She's supposed to be one of those A-type personalities who's obsessed with presenting an ultra-competent professional image. I realize though that her always being right eventually makes her seem unlikeable (it's comparable to the show Everybody Loves Raymond...in the beginning it was about this goofy guy and his mostly lovely wife who often rightfully had to take him to task for being a moron, but after 9 seasons or whatever of being the show's voice of reason she came off as kind of a bitch by the end). I actually have come up with ideas and storylines to show her other less than perfect side, but the problem is I never really wanted to put the focus on the humans. I wanted the focus to stay on the animals...which is part of the reason I've never given the Zookeepers names. I'm just not sure people would want to read a 5 - 10 strip long storyline about the Zookeepers without the cuddly animals.

Oh, and in honor of you liking Ernest Wednesday's comic stars him. Okay, I had already written the comic when I read your review...but lets pretend.

Black Sparrow · Post by **Black Sparrow** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 6:20 am

Thank you, McDuffies! That's exactly what I wanted!

McDuffies · Post by **McDuffies** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 9:38 am

I guess I know how to please a girl.

You just bring hidden innuendo out of people.

Black Sparrow · Post by **Black Sparrow** » Wed Mar 07, 2007 9:47 am

mcDuffies wrote:You just bring hidden innuendo out of people.

You're not fooling anyone.

El · Post by El » Wed Mar 07, 2007 10:29 am

Thanks for the review perk_daddy!

Some response:

On the art...well, high praise indeed, thanks.

The wordiness at the beginning: aye, it's that old, old tale...

It's something I will fix, in time, when I feel confident I can script it well enough to convey the same points concisely.

As for the 'poetic' quality of the language - I'm more torn as it's supposed to say something about the character present here: how they think and feel, the way their mind is rambling, probably just a bit emo...y'know?

I'm glad you're getting to care about the characters and that you're curious about what happens next - that's exactly the response I'm hoping for.

As for the site - again it's on the to do list, a redesign will be done when there's time to draw the necessary images for it. In the meantime the whole of the big front image links to the latest comic.

I wish it could update more too - but we'll be back to three new pages a week in April, which isn't so very far away now.

Thanks again for the review.