Work-safe thread is work-safe.

[WangyJohn]

Forum rules

- Consider all threads NSFW

...

HEY!

Allright then. This thread will be absolutely 100% SFW. If anything you post can be deconstructed aa an innuendo, you lose.

We shall now discuss pastry.

[Lulujayne]

... We made them cross again didn't we....

I love damper, it's not exactly a pastry, but it's still awesome.

[RevChris77]

I made these cookies today (except that I used dried cherries instead of raisins):

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
1 cup butter, softened (2 sticks)
1 cup brown sugar (firmly packed)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1+1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon cloves
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1/2 teaspoon salt (optional)
3 cups oatmeal (old fashioned or quick, uncooked)
1 cup raisins

* Heat oven to 350F.
* Beat together butter, brown sugar, and granulated sugar until creamy. Add eggs and vanilla, and beat well.
* Add flour, baking soda, salt and spices, mix well. Stir in oatmeal and raisins, mix well.
* Drop dough, 1 rounded tablespoon per cookie, onto ungreased cookie sheet.
* Bake 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown. Cool 1-2 minutes on cookie sheet. Remove and place on wire rack.

[WangyJohn]

Off course, all kinds of baked goods are welcome, though we should emphasis the sweet ones.

Persoanlly, i like sweet rhubarb. It's a pretty simple receipe, though I'm not sure about the english name and amounts of all the ingredients, so I can't post the receipe.

[RevChris77]

I can do rhubarb (we make this at least once a month):

Blackberry Raspberry Rhubarb Pie

9-inch double pie crust, unbaked

Filling:
1 cup fresh (or frozen) blackberries
1 cup fresh (or frozen) raspberries
2 cups fresh (or frozen) rhubarb, cut into 1/2" pieces
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon butter, melted
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1 teaspoon fresh vanilla extract
2 tablespoons light cream
2 tablespoons granulated sugar mixed with 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Filling: Mix berries and rhubarb in a glass bowl. In another bowl, mix sugar and flour; sprinkle over fruit, and stir gently. Cover and refrigerate 6 hours (if starting with frozen fruit, you can leave it sit on the counter until everything is thawed, then refrigerate for the rest of the 6 hours). My wife says not to skip the 6 hour wait, or it just won't turn out right.

* Preheat oven to 400F. Line a 9-inch baking pie plate with unbaked bottom crust.
* Stir melted butter, lemon juice, and vanilla into fruit mixture. Spoon mixture into prepared unbaked crust. Cover with top crust. Crimp edges to seal. Cut several slits in top crust to let steam escape. Brush with light cream and sprinkle with sugar-cinnamon mixture. Bake 10 minutes.
* Reduce heat to 350F; bake 45-50 minutes longer or until filling is bubbly and crust golden brown. Cool slightly before cutting. Refrigerate leftovers.

You can substitute other kinds of berries (we've also used blueberries), and you can make these as smaller tarts or single serving pies.

Makes 1-8 servings, depending on how much you like your pie.

Recipe from The Joy of Rhubarb Cookbook, ISBN 1-59193-051-0

[Xero]

... We made them cross again didn't we....

I love damper, it's not exactly a pastry, but it's still awesome.

I think it was the link I posted that linked to a cp thread on 7chan that did it actually

also

sfw is sfw

[RavenxDrake]

Pastry makes me thing of pasty, and then I want deep-fried pocket pies.

Dough
9 1/2 oz of ap flour
2 tsp of baking powder
Heavy pinch salt
2 1/2 oz lard(or shortening)
3/4 cup milk
1 egg beaten with 1 tablespoon water(eggwash, to seal pastys)

Pulse the dry goods(flour, salt, baking powder) in a food processor or blender till thoroughly integrated, then turn out into a bowl. Knead in the lard slowly with your fingertips till you get a crumbly, corn meal-like consistancy(if he lard feels like it's getting melty, put the bowl in the freezer a bit till it chills). Add the milk and stir till it comes together, then turn out onto a lighlty floured work surface.

Knead the dough thoroughly for several minutes, then roll the dough out till it's about half an inch thick, then cut out individual rounds with a 2 1/2 inch buiscuit cutter(or simlar device). Roll the rounds out till they double in size(5-6 inches across).

Fill with your choice of filling, and brush the edge with the eggwash, then fold over the dough(being sure to push out as much air as possible, and seal the edges with the tines of a fork. Before cooking, cut three small slits in the top of the pie (or, if deepfrying, dock both sides with a fork) to let steam escape.

They can be baked(350 degrees for 25-30 minutes, or till golden brown), pan fried (cast iron skillet over medium low heat with a few pats of butter), or Deep fired (375 degree oil, drop in two at a time and let them cook for few minutes each till the skin is puffy and golden).

For fillings, you can go with just about any pie or tart filling you can think of(though most benefit from being a little bit dryer than you'd normally make them).

One of my faves:

4-5 large yellow delicious apples
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup unfiltered cider
1/4 cup fresh lime juice
1/8 cup minced candied ginger
2 tsp cinamon
Fresh grated nutmeg.

Peel, core, and slice the apples and combine them and the other ingredients in a non-reactive saucepan till it comes to a boil, reduce head and simmer for about 30-45 minutes. Let cool to at least room temperature before using as a filling.

The dough recipe is versitile enought that it can work with savoury pies as well, so leftover beef stew and similar goodies make for excellent pies.

[Kisai]

... We made them cross again didn't we....

Nope, just to avoid people maliciously hitting the report post because a thread wasn't marked NSFW. As long as there is something saying it's allowed I can just delete the reports instead of wasting time investigating.

[Seth Marati]

Has that been a problem? I can't remember anybody ever coming here and complaining about the content on the board. Or is this just a precaution?

Regarding pastry, this discussion reminds me that there's some leftover wedding cake on top of my closet that's over a month old and needs to be thrown out.

[RevChris77]

Pastry makes me thing of pasty, and then I want deep-fried pocket pies.

We made pasties for dinner tonight, using a similar recipe, except that they baked for longer, and about 2/3 of the way through the baking you put a teaspoon of water into each pasty via the slits in order to make them moister.

[Xero]

... We made them cross again didn't we....

Nope, just to avoid people maliciously hitting the report post because a thread wasn't marked NSFW. As long as there is something saying it's allowed I can just delete the reports instead of wasting time investigating.

the only odd person I see browsing this forum is reindeer, and he doesn't even post

[Aeridus]

Reinder's a perv anyways, he's safe. I can vouch for him.

Work safe:

[Sexy_fork]

I have that picture of einstein on my wall. without the pie (pi?), of course.

[Xero]

I have that picture of einstein on my wall. without the pie (pi?), of course.

I thought it was a brain at first

[Aeridus]

Onoes, zombie einstein!

[RavenxDrake]

einstein_zombie.gif (6.74 KiB) Viewed 1378 times

E=MC^BRAAAAAAINS

[Foolosophy]

sfw-thread is nsfw

[Seth Marati]

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS

[Xero]

he needs some rings on his foreskin

[Aeridus]

That's not a penis, it's really a turtleneck. For a man with elephantitis.