A Series of Saucy Limericks

Brain · Post by **Brain** » Thu May 20, 2004 9:34 am

Not a limerick, but still English:
There's a town named "Great Coxwell" in Oxfordshire.

Mad Irishman · Post by **Mad Irishman** » Fri May 21, 2004 5:28 am

<Applauds Honor temendously>

Where'd you find that one!
_______________________

There was a young man of Madrass
Who's balls were made out of brass!
When they jangled together
They played 'Stormy Weather'
and lightning shot out of his ass!
____________________________________))

I think this was the inspiration for braveheart!

(____________________________________

The mathematician Von Blecks
Devised an equation for sex,
Having proved a good fuck
Isn't patience or luck,

But a function of y over x...

RantinAn · Post by **RantinAn** » Fri May 21, 2004 5:00 pm

Speeking purely for myself, i like Y over Mouth myelf.....

Honor · Post by **Honor** » Sat May 22, 2004 2:30 am

Mad Irishman wrote: Where'd you find that one!

I don't actually recall... It's been one (three?) of my favorites for years and years now.

This is the line of thinking that's keeping me from drawing right now:

Once you dabble, there is no escape
from the sin of tentacular rape...
it's no average diversion,
this frightning perversion
and as kinks go, it doesn't even make for a particularly good limerick.

*shakes her head clear* ...I'm goin' to bed.

RantinAn wrote: Speeking purely for myself, i like Y over Mouth myelf.....

I've been strongly partial to mouth over Y for as long as I can remember...

Mad Irishman · Post by **Mad Irishman** » Sat May 22, 2004 7:54 am

Um yeah! I think that one was supposed to refer to cromosomes, but it kinda fulls to sheds visually doesn't it. Here's a new one instead!

A tired young trollop of Nome
Was worn out from her toes to her dome..
Eight miners came screwin,
she said "Nothing doing!
One of you has to go home!!!"
____________

Take that one up your childhood memory!

CJBurgandy · Post by **CJBurgandy** » Sat May 22, 2004 10:51 am

nome is far too small of a town.

Look I wrote one about myself!

Paler than the whitest white am I
I blend in with the snow and sky
if I ran in the nude,
you're eyes I'd elude
till my nipples poked out your left eye

RantinAn · Post by **RantinAn** » Sat May 22, 2004 6:38 pm

noooo irish, you were the one i thaught would get that Y joke.... since it's in my experience been country australian women who refer to their crotch as a Y or Y split.......

and Honor, here's a little mathmamatical problem for you
Y over mouth + mouth over Y = 69. But Y over mouth OR mouth over Y not = to 34.5

Prove with evidence

Mad Irishman · Post by **Mad Irishman** » Sat May 22, 2004 11:58 pm

Yes RantinAn, I did get your joke. I was just pointing out that not all my limericks are funny.

Hell, none of my jokes are funny either...

But a question. Did you know Y / !Y makes an M ???
_________________

Some unnecessary one liner!
<Laugh now>

Shinjiro · Post by **Shinjiro** » Sun May 23, 2004 9:13 am

The new cinimatic emporium
Is not just a super sensorium
But a highly effectual
Heterosexual
Mutual masterbatorium.

There once was a young man from Ghent
Who's tool was so long that it bent
To save himself trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming, he went.

Honor · Post by **Honor** » Mon May 24, 2004 1:40 am

RantinAn wrote:...and Honor, here's a little mathmamatical problem for you
Y over mouth + mouth over Y = 69. But Y over mouth OR mouth over Y not = to 34.5

Prove with evidence

Can it possibly be any coincidence that you followed that with a tongue-out smiley?

This is actually a more complex equation set than the problem would suggest... Depending on the state of the variables involved.

Where ((Ya/Mb AND NOT Ma/Yb))* is indeed usually equal to 34.5... If subsets a and b are sufficiently and reliably sympathetic, you can actually reach a state where ((Ma/Yb AND NOT Ya/Mb)) is equal to 68... In a temporary state also known as 'Wimpy69', or I'll gladly eat you Tuesday for an orgasm today.

Collect evidence in person.

*Using / as 'over', rather than 'divided by' of course...

Nithos · Post by **Nithos** » Mon May 24, 2004 1:43 pm

I'm trying a couple more limericks... I used to be much better at these.

There once was a character named Kwerki
Whose nipples were pretty and perky
With bottle in ass
She said with much class
You should see what I can do with a turkey

---

A weirdo was teaching a class
Of things to do with some glass
She swallowed a bottle
And cranked up the throttle
And shot shrapnel out of her ass

RantinAn · Post by **RantinAn** » Mon May 24, 2004 3:42 pm

*round of applause*
Nithos that's some nice attemptage

Honor, an excelent proof. I'd collect emperical evidence if it wasnt for that darned pacific ocean. Mabye you could present evidence to misca or CJ who could then testify on your behalf.

Goddessmisca · Post by **Goddessmisca** » Mon May 24, 2004 8:19 pm

heeee

Honor · Post by **Honor** » Mon May 24, 2004 9:24 pm

Hmm... If Misca chose to collect the evidence, would I get to hang around long enough to try her new video game...?

RantinAn · Post by **RantinAn** » Mon May 24, 2004 9:56 pm

you'll have to ask her...

Son of a diddly, how come all the tie me spank me lesbians are in north america?

CJBurgandy · Post by **CJBurgandy** » Mon May 24, 2004 10:53 pm

well I know why they're in Alaska... it's boring up here.

....Nah, I'm sure we can find you some in your area

Captain Tylor · Post by **Captain Tylor** » Mon May 24, 2004 11:06 pm

There once was a guy from peru
Who's limericks stopped at line two.

Captain Tylor · Post by **Captain Tylor** » Mon May 24, 2004 11:21 pm

There was a young woman named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night

Mad Irishman · Post by **Mad Irishman** » Tue May 25, 2004 12:15 am

"Yeek Ghads, I've Started Something" - Isaac Newton.

<Quietly and carefully backs away while whistling the tune from Star Wars>
____________________

oh! yeah...
There was a young man of Bblenz
Whose ballocks were simply immense:
It took fourty-four draymen,
A priest and three Laymen < (Or Women)
to carry them thither and thence!!!!!!

_____________
"Muiltiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind" - Terry Pratchet

Goddessmisca · Post by **Goddessmisca** » Tue May 25, 2004 9:47 am

Honor wrote:Hmm... If Misca chose to collect the evidence, would I get to hang around long enough to try her new video game...?

I'm good at sharing!
I keept rying for limeriks but they all suck