I weep for humanity

Warmachine · Post by **Warmachine** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 3:44 pm

This also reminds of a Ben Elton play titled Gasp!. A company looking for the next Pot Noodle (a product that created a pointless need where none existed before) turns an obscure, asthma treatment system into a way of extracting, storing and selling oxygen. The catchphrase is "Other people's air: it gets up your nose." Oxygen soon becomes a selfishly hoarded commodity. The company is able to predict general, wind patterns, extract oxygen en-masse and sell it as a near monopoly. Atmospheric levels plummet and members of third world countries are barely kept alive by charity of dilapidated extractors. Plant life is then seen as a rival damaging company value and governments are convinced to burn plants. The play ends with the senior executive sealing the CEO in his room, destroying the extractor and the CEO shooting the window in a useless attempt to avoid suffocation.

If adverts for oxygen ever reach the mass media, then we're doomed.

Awkwardschoolgirl · Post by **Awkwardschoolgirl** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 3:45 pm

Mmm... Pot noodles....

Honor · Post by **Honor** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 6:09 pm

What pointless need did Pot Noodle create...?

I still have an unopened package from last time I was in London, and they were doing a "Not Poodle!" promotion... It's one of my favorite posessions.

RantinAn · Post by **RantinAn** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 6:23 pm

Well pot noodles created a need in me to write about a dark pastafarian god of evil pot noodle tenticley doom!

Error of Logic · Post by **Error of Logic** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:43 pm

warmachine wrote:This also reminds of a Ben Elton play titled Gasp!. A company looking for the next Pot Noodle (a product that created a pointless need where none existed before) turns an obscure, asthma treatment system into a way of extracting, storing and selling oxygen. The catchphrase is "Other people's air: it gets up your nose." Oxygen soon becomes a selfishly hoarded commodity. The company is able to predict general, wind patterns, extract oxygen en-masse and sell it as a near monopoly. Atmospheric levels plummet and members of third world countries are barely kept alive by charity of dilapidated extractors. Plant life is then seen as a rival damaging company value and governments are convinced to burn plants. The play ends with the senior executive sealing the CEO in his room, destroying the extractor and the CEO shooting the window in a useless attempt to avoid suffocation.

If adverts for oxygen ever reach the mass media, then we're doomed.

o_o Wow ... This sounds like an interesting play to attend. I do so enjoy a nice twist ending.

Honor · Post by **Honor** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 11:30 pm

Lictor wrote:Wasn't there a thread on here about someone wnating to do something like this as a joke and see who and/or how many bought into it?

That was a thought I posted in some thread... I'm currently working (read: thinking) about a few different ideas.

Warmachine · Post by **Warmachine** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:37 am

Honor wrote:What pointless need did Pot Noodle create...?

The world is doomed! A product that creates a need for tasteless and nutritionless junk. Why anyone would choose to eat that stuff, even compared to other junk food, is beyond me. I'd rather go hungry than eat that stuff.

Honor · Post by **Honor** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:56 am

Oh... well...

That's not Pot Noodle creating a new need where none existed before. That's just them filling an existing need badly.

None of the "just add hot-ass water to this cup" forms of ramen are really worth a damn, but Pot Noodle is actually far from the worst of the lot. It's far from being literally nutritionless and flavorless, at least.

Now... Regular ramen... That's a whole other issue. I am the Ramen Queen! I calculated once that, over the course of my life thus far, I've eaten enough ramen soup to fill a small swimming pool. I actually have packages and review notes from dozens and dozens of different kinds of ramen, with the intention of someday (you know... that elusive, imaginary 'someday' when I have lots of free time...?) creating a Ramen web site with comparisons and reviews and recipes and stuff.

(Yes... it's supposed to be humor. But I -do- have the packages and review notes.)

Kingofthemorlocks · Post by **Kingofthemorlocks** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:02 pm

Hey Honor, you want some Maruchan-brand chicken-flavored Ramen? I bought some to save money on dining hall food, ate some and was...far from impressed. Now I'm trying to find someone who will eat it. It's not bad, just not to my liking.

Honor · Post by **Honor** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:13 pm

Maruchan has some of the best noodles, as far as flavor and texture, but I've never found a chicken flavored ramen broth I could call good.

Rather than actually mailing me ramen (which you can absolutely do, if you want... ;-) I'd suggest buying a little bit of lean hamburger, & an envelope of beef gravy or beef stock powder, slicing a stick of celery really thin, and maybe slicing a mushroom and a green onion.

Cook the hamburger, add in the celery, mushroom, and onion, adding a little butter if needed. Cook the ramen noodles normally, stopping them right at three minutes, or maybe even a little sooner... They should be nice and firm. You want to drain -most- of the broth off the noodles (keeping some, though), then put the rest in the pan with the hamburger and veggies (which is still good and hot on the other burner)... Stir fry them a bit... Add salt, garlic, some of the beef stock/beef gravy mix powder, and maybe some soy sauce.

Bam... Yakisoba. If you're like me, hot sauce packets will be good about now, too.

Kingofthemorlocks · Post by **Kingofthemorlocks** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:43 pm

Unfortunately, the tools I'd need for stirfrying - a heat-source, mainly - are forbidden in the dorms, and the stove in this building doesn't work worth shit.

RavenxDrake · Post by **RavenxDrake** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:25 pm

squidflakes wrote:Wooo hooo! After all the hoopla about anti-oxydation suppliments being good for the body, I think its time to turn around and re-oxydize!

I'd like to see how they are able to deliver this stuff. Only a certian amount of compressed oxygen is allowed on aircraft because of its volitility, and its only a matter of time before some school kids figure out how effective a flame thrower a bottle of compressed oxygen could make.

I have to take issue with this, as I'm fiarly sure that oxygen itself is NOT flamible. Yes it is necessary to burn things(and I'm certain that spraying pure oxygen over a flame would make it burn much more effeciently) but Oxygen itself is not flamible.

Volitile(in the sense of a preasure explosion) I can certainly agree with, and I'm pretty sure that no fire or explosion ever suffereed negatively from having a massive tank of oxygen burst open near it, means it's an inherent explosion and fire HAZARD, but not that it's flamible.

Unless someone can correct me on this with some proof...

As for ramen, the Dollar Store near my house sells an excellent Yakisoba package meal(I THINK it's Maruchan, but I"m not certain) that features noodles, sauce pack, Freezedried veggie pack(some onion, carrot, and Nappa cabbage) flavoured oil(sesame, I think, with beefstock) in a microwaveable plastic bowl.. it's great for taking to work cause I can just nuke it up without having to do too much extra work to it to make it edible(other than bringing a small baggie of slivered crystalized ginger and some Hoisin sauce).

ManaUser · Post by **ManaUser** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 5:36 pm

RavenxDrake wrote:
squidflakes wrote:I'd like to see how they are able to deliver this stuff. Only a certian amount of compressed oxygen is allowed on aircraft because of its volitility, and its only a matter of time before some school kids figure out how effective a flame thrower a bottle of compressed oxygen could make.
I have to take issue with this, as I'm fiarly sure that oxygen itself is NOT flamible. Yes it is necessary to burn things(and I'm certain that spraying pure oxygen over a flame would make it burn much more effeciently) but Oxygen itself is not flamible.

Volitile(in the sense of a preasure explosion) I can certainly agree with, and I'm pretty sure that no fire or explosion ever suffereed negatively from having a massive tank of oxygen burst open near it, means it's an inherent explosion and fire HAZARD, but not that it's flamible.

Unless someone can correct me on this with some proof...

No you're quite right. It can be a pretty serious fire hazard though. Every so often you hear a news story about someone smoking while using oxygen (real stupid) and starting a fire, often with fatal results. There's also a fairly well known science experiment were you put an embering slpinter of wood into pure oxygen and it bursts into full flame.

You couldn't make a flamethrower out of it without some fuel as well though.

Awkwardschoolgirl · Post by **Awkwardschoolgirl** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 5:38 pm

Well maybe if you held a lighter to the jet of pure oxygen... I think that's what Squiddy meant... or at least that'ds what I envisioned when I read it...

Nithos · Post by **Nithos** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 5:38 pm

I haven't had ramen in a long time, I've still got some in the cupboard, though, now I'm gonna have to make some tonight. And as to that chicken ramen - if you have any way of cooking it at all, what I suggest doing is making it as usual, and just throw in some curray powder. The "chicken" flavors seem to work best for this method of filling two needs of mine - cheap, quick food, and curray spices. It's the only spicy food I eat, really. Gotta love that spicy-food induced endorphine rush.

Wilmo · Post by **Wilmo** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 5:40 pm

hehe, "chicken" ramen... such memories, they amuse me so.

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 6:00 pm

RavenxDrake wrote:
squidflakes wrote:Wooo hooo! After all the hoopla about anti-oxydation suppliments being good for the body, I think its time to turn around and re-oxydize!

I'd like to see how they are able to deliver this stuff. Only a certian amount of compressed oxygen is allowed on aircraft because of its volitility, and its only a matter of time before some school kids figure out how effective a flame thrower a bottle of compressed oxygen could make.
I have to take issue with this, as I'm fiarly sure that oxygen itself is NOT flamible. Yes it is necessary to burn things(and I'm certain that spraying pure oxygen over a flame would make it burn much more effeciently) but Oxygen itself is not flamible.

Quite right, oxygen itself is not flamible, however, just about anything becomes fuel if you add enough pure oxygen to the mix.

I guess I should have said something more along the lines of "Its only a matter of time before some school kids figure out how effective a flamethrower they could make when they add a bottle of compressed oxygen."

*shrugs* I wasn't really paying attention when I made the post.

Lowky · Post by **Lowky** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 6:05 pm

Personally I don't like Ramen as soup. I cook the noodles, drain 90-95% of the water off, and add the packet. I usually cook two packs of noodles and add one spice packet. I also will occasionally add cheese to them. While not a connesiour of different brands, I have definitely eaten alot of them. When unemployed, they are a cheap edible food source. and when I got tired of ramen, it was rice, adding my leftover spice packets to the cooking water.

Aeridus · Post by **Aeridus** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 6:58 pm

Everything tastes like chicken, except for chicken ramen?

Kingofthemorlocks · Post by **Kingofthemorlocks** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 7:11 pm

If chicken flavored ramen tastes like chicken, and beef tastes like beef, what does oriental flavored ramen taste like?