Ghastly...how'd you win the battle of the bulge?

Cemetery Polka · Post by **Cemetery Polka** » Mon May 23, 2005 2:55 pm

I wish female masturbation were a more physical activity.

I'm going to third the soda comment. After going without it for a month try it again. You'll never miss it.

Oh, and I have a fun little relevent story.

I (up until very recently) fit into the poor college kid stereotype. I had a crappy job, and a crappy car that broke down every three miles and all that. I'm also really fucking stubborn. When my car broke down about a year ago I decided that I wasn't going to pay to have it fixed. I was going to show society and dig out the bike I haven't touched since a month after my sixteenth birthday. I assumed that a fifteen minute drive wouldn't be that big of a deal on my bike.

Things that happened:

I found out that a five miles away is a lot further than I thought. diju doods know cars go FAST?

I lost ten pounds all together. I'm pretty sure I lost 30lbs and gained most of it back in muscle.
I snapped out of nearly a five year long depression.
I discovered the joy of regular bowel movements (i'm still trying to figure that one out)
Kicked my crack habit and SAVED A SHITLOAD OF MONEY ON MY CARE INSURANCE BY not having to pay it, ever.

I know this reaks of dirty hippie, and I'm overexaggerating, but things got a lot better after changing that one thing.

Skztr · Post by **Skztr** » Mon May 23, 2005 4:50 pm

female masturbation certainly looks like more of a physical activity to me. Maybe you're not watching the right lesbian schoolgirls.

I have considered using wrist-weights while wanking. Maybe if I stapled weights to my balls I could get some lifting going with my other hand while I'm at it.

Personally I think everyone should consider just having aerobic sex with Vinnie.

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Mon May 23, 2005 5:14 pm

Cemetery Polka wrote: I know this reaks of dirty hippie, and I'm overexaggerating, but things got a lot better after changing that one thing.

It only reeks of dirty hippie if you didn't shower or relied solely on pachouli oil for your daily cleaning duties.

Moo Cow · Post by **Moo Cow** » Mon May 23, 2005 6:02 pm

Ghastly wrote:Appearently masturbation burns approximately 100 calories. You need to burn 3500 calories to lose one pound. If you masturbated 35 times a day you could lose a pound a day.

The problem with losing weight by masturbation is it works for the first hundred calories but after that you lose interest in exercising for awhile and just want to take a nap.

*interested* is that just for guys? i could do that diet...

I've been trying to lose weight... by now I eat healthily and stuff, i drink water, take vitamins and exercise... but I also sometimes pig out on junk food. But i'mnot gaining weight, i'm 5-7 and 150 pounds, sorta muscly, and curvy but not fat-looking except my belly sticks out. I've come to peace with it now... and since I just broke up with my boyfriend I can see how many other guys like curvy, non-skinny girls! I know Bill's got his own!

And skztr... some of your dieting habits sound scary, if you dont mind me saying... fasting is really not good for you, it's better to just eat multiple small meals a day. maye I'm misinterpreting... but some of those habits can't be good.

~Sara

E~Man · Post by **E~Man** » Mon May 23, 2005 6:04 pm

Well...didn't this thread take a turn for the strange....

Anyways...thank you for the serious answers...

...and for the non serious stuff...*boot to the head*

Moo Cow · Post by **Moo Cow** » Mon May 23, 2005 6:05 pm

Hey, just 'cuz we're all perverts doesn't mean we cant have semi-intelligent perverted weight loss conversations!

~Sara

E~Man · Post by **E~Man** » Mon May 23, 2005 6:07 pm

Moo Cow wrote:Hey, just 'cuz we're all perverts doesn't mean we cant have semi-intelligent perverted weight loss conversations!

~Sara

Hey...never said ya couldn't...I rather enjoy perverted weight loss conversations

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Mon May 23, 2005 6:26 pm

Moo Cow wrote:Hey, just 'cuz we're all perverts doesn't mean we cant have semi-intelligent perverted weight loss conversations!

~Sara

Oh yea it does

Wilmo · Post by **Wilmo** » Mon May 23, 2005 7:55 pm

I was being serious with my post, and I really do recommend that stuff, though, it does kinda fall under the classic idea of: eat slightly less, excersize more.

RantinAn · Post by **RantinAn** » Mon May 23, 2005 8:24 pm

Or for that matter, some of us girls also prefer our girls curvy ant not all bony. a woman should look like a woman, not a boy wiht two plums down his shirt.

Toawa · Post by **Toawa** » Mon May 23, 2005 9:47 pm

Hmm.. It's probably a good thing I can't drink soda (I've never been able to; it feels like it burns my mouth.) So instead, I drink milk and OJ. Lots of it.

(On the one hand, at I'm getting tons of calcium, because of which I think I probably have absolutely massive bones and my teeth hold up a lot better than one would think. On the other hand, there was the little problem of milkfat; fortunately most of that time was spent drinking 1/2%, and as of about 4 years ago, skim. Now I can't even drink 1/2% without it tasting like whole milk; I shudder to think what I'd do if I actually drank whole milk again.

And a pox on anyone who berates me for it! Milk rules!)

LindaH · Post by **LindaH** » Mon May 23, 2005 11:08 pm

RantinAn wrote:Or for that matter, some of us girls also prefer our girls curvy ant not all bony. a woman should look like a woman, not a boy wiht two plums down his shirt.

amen!

Skztr · Post by **Skztr** » Tue May 24, 2005 3:53 am

what about men? should we look like boys with two plums down our shirts?

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Tue May 24, 2005 6:40 am

I look like a boy with two plums down my pants

CJBurgandy · Post by **CJBurgandy** » Tue May 24, 2005 8:59 am

best diet I ever did:

Move to Thailand, Eat a chocolate Brownie for breatfast, Rice and Cucumbers for Lunch, A big Dinner served over rice and lots of icecream inbetween meals. Lost 15 Kilos while I was there.

Skztr · Post by **Skztr** » Tue May 24, 2005 10:15 am

That sounds suspiciously like the internal lubrication diet of eating whatever you want, so long as no matter what you eat, you eat twice as much ice cream by volume. I think this only works for lactose intollerant people. I have not tried it. This diet idea was from the same person who came up with the ability to survive a fall from any height by twisting your body into the general arc of a rocking chair.

Goddessmisca · Post by **Goddessmisca** » Tue May 24, 2005 1:28 pm

something tells me that CJ walked alot in thailand....mmm icecream

CJBurgandy · Post by **CJBurgandy** » Tue May 24, 2005 1:31 pm

yeah. I walked a lot. Plus I had swiming twice a week and Tennis lessons on Saturday mornings. Defently not Lactose intolorant though.

Moo Cow · Post by **Moo Cow** » Wed May 25, 2005 1:57 am

Walking is really fun.... that plus my martial arts gives me nice, smooth sexy leg muscles.

~Sara

MNsane · Post by **MNsane** » Wed May 25, 2005 3:16 pm

skztr wrote:The key to winning the battle of the bulge is using air superiority to cut off the German supply lines during the harsh winter.

it helps if you've got General McAuliffe at Bastogne telling the german commander to get fucked