Scary-assed shit in my e-mail.

[Illithid Tentacles]

Me:
What is 1/0?
God:
1 plus 1 = 2.

Riiiiight...

God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Pornography.
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.

[Ghastly]

Me:
Hello, god?
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Ghastly.
God:
It's good to meet you, Ghastly.
Me:
Thank you. I have a question for you.
God:
you are quite welcome. What is it ?
Me:
Are you a participatory God who takes an active roll in the day to day activities of the universe, or are you a passive God who merely started the universe rolling and sits back to watch it unfold to its conclusion?
God:
Am I a participatory God who takes an active roll in the day to day activities of the universe or am I a passive God who merely started the universe rolling and sits back to watch it unfold to its conclusion? Of course I am.
Me:
Don't be so damned Buddhist, God.

[Swordsman3003]

That is a zen chatbot right there.

[Ce6]

I never thought I'd have something to contribute to this thread, until I came home from work today to find someone had IM'd me while I was away.
Here it is, transcribed and with names redacted to protect the ignorant:

them: Heyy
me (several hours later): can I help you?
them: do i know u?
me: you messaged me earlier in the day
them: Oh yeah umm... r u male or female?
me: out of curiosity, where did you find my username? I do not recognize yours.
them: i dont know really
them: R u male or female?
me: I am a digital representation of an anonymous person.
me: my gender is irrelevent
them: wat does that mean?
me: no.
them: ur not wat?
me: male or female.
them: than wat r u?
me: a digital representation of an anonymous person.
them: wat does that mean?
me: exactly what it says.
them: so ur not human?
me: I am a representative interface for a human.
them: so ur a computer typing for a person?
me: I am the interface through which the person typing is communicating.
them: oh
them: do u wear thongs?
me: I do not see how that is relevant.
them: Do u have big boobs?
me: I do not see how that is relevant.

At which point thankfully they finally gave up.
Some people will not be deterred easily, even if they seemed to have conjured up my screenname from nowhere.
This bugs me, about as much as the hideous butchery of the rules of spelling and grammar. If someone I do not know can't identify who I am or where they know me from, then they shouldn't expect me to give up personal information.
Besides, sometimes it's just plain fun to pretend to be a chatbot

Even though my IM information is publicly available in a couple different forums, the contents of those sites often differs greatly enough that I would not wish to offend someone should I guess wrong and bring up topics of questionable or adult material.

[Aeridus]

This is why I only give my chat names to friends.

[Kite-san]

This is why I only give my chat names to friends.

it doesn't matter, i don't give out my name, and i still get random people from nowhere every time i spend more than 20-30 minutes on IMs.

some of them have been fun to talk to, most of them.... ehhh, s'what an iggy-list is for.

[Aeridus]

I think I've only gotten a random stranger IM me once, ever.

[BriHahn]

I had a rash of them while I lived in El Paso; imagine my surprise when I clicked on the avatar of one of them and it turned out to be a staff sergeant I knew from my unit! I think he's still on my friends list, come to think of it; the rest of them I automatically put on ignore. I don't DO the random chat thing.

[BriHahn]

*gets dressed like her avatar and performs the evilest, vilest, most dirty tentacle-necromancy imaginable* LIVE!!! LIVE MY CHILD LIVE!!!! *laughs maniacally*

For all the noobs.

[ManaUser]

In honor of the time paradox.

[Aeridus]

All hail the Thread That Wouldn't Die!

[Xero]

this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because
this is the thread that never dies
yes it lives on and on my friend
some people started bumping it not know what it was
and they'll continue bumping forever just because

[Iwannabe]

Now here's the most evil business idea ever

"Text 66666 to HOTAZNCHAN and talk to your dream gurl NOW! Standard text messaging fees applies, etc etc. Many hot and willing singles are standing by, so what are you waiting for? Text 66666 now!"

And of course, robochan is on the other side.

[Goddessmisca]

Besides, sometimes it's just plain fun to pretend to be a chatbot

MUST TRY

[ManaUser]

The appocolypes has come and gone but Scary-Assed Shit lives on.

[Aeridus]

Huzzah!