I confess

Vedius Pollio · Post by **Vedius Pollio** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 4:05 am

Actually, I confess that Eric Burden and the Animals sound quite good on cough syrup.

Xero · Post by **Xero** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 11:49 am

Lulujayne wrote:I thought you weren't going to do this

:O
LULU

I confess I havn't seen lulu in weeks
-pets-

Lulujayne · Post by **Lulujayne** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 11:51 am

I just finished a massive amount of work for a deadline today, so hopefully after a lovely sleep I'll be stroking your meathook tomorrow mister

*fondles*

Vedius Pollio · Post by **Vedius Pollio** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 1:13 pm

I confess that my mother's pet kangaroo is a nasty little animal. He clawed my scrotum as I was crossing his coridoor into the bathroom and drew a trickle of blood.

Also, another kangaroo that she was raising, when I was around 12-13, clawed my right nipple and left a nasty scar (that was kind of insensitive and took the fun out of nipple tweaking).

Also, this new kangaroo bites.

Aeridus · Post by **Aeridus** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 1:40 pm

I confess that I have no social life whatsoever, but I kinda wish I did.

Wipperwill · Post by **Wipperwill** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 2:56 pm

There's a reason why people don't have much of a social life. The can't stand most normal people. Emphasis on "normal".

Hell, even in this oasis of weirdness people are still sorta judgemental.

I confess that "Insatiable" may be the best porn ever made.

-Wip

Vedius Pollio · Post by **Vedius Pollio** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:41 pm

Bah! This totally pisses on "Insatiable":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRO-M4XyAbM

Vedius Pollio · Post by **Vedius Pollio** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:51 am

I confess that I have a problem.

I visit brothels compulsively regardless of whether or not I'm horny. Whenever there's money in my bank account, it either ends up being spend on books (which I may or may not read) or on working girls. It's just the presence of money that sets me off and makes me visit those kinds of places.

Also, my taste in sex has become increasingly more extreme over the past two years. Initially, I was an incredible hygeine freak. I went down on the working girl that took my virginity, and two days later I got a cold and kept harrassing my mother for a blood test in case it was HIV. Then, I started getting massages (no kissing, no French, no going down on the girl, just condom sex and a hand job). Then, earlier this year I started going down on prostitutes, for the first time since I lost my virginity. Then I got into golden showers, asslicking, and other filthy sex.

It's as if my earlier fanaticism about cleanliness has been replaced with an obsession with uncleanliness. (As a kid, I was really really fussy about clean food and water. I still have a fear of oily utensils. If a spoon or a fork feels oily, I can't eat with it at all. I run my hands over everything beforehand to check the oiliness factor.) Going down on the girls doesn't turn me on that much, but I still have a compulsion to pay them extra for the service. Before, I never used to pay for extras.

This is draining my bank account dry. I spend between $160 and $300 dollars each week on hookers. And I'm not even sure if I want to confess all of this to my university counsellor and get treatment. It's just too embarrassing.

God help me.

EDIT:
Lulu already knows this story, but for everybody else:
When I was in Thailand, I paid an old lady for sex, and found the experience of her giving me an unprotected blowjob traumatic. I wasn't even horny when she approached me, I just agreed to have sex with her out of sheer habit. After the act, I spent an entire night wiping my penis with isopropyl alcohol wipes, over and over again. I couldn't even sleep on the same side of the bed as the sex occurred.

I reiterate

God help me

Wipperwill · Post by **Wipperwill** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:07 pm

Vedius Pollio wrote:Bah! This totally pisses on "Insatiable":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRO-M4XyAbM

I don't think there was any watersports in Insatiable but its been a while.

Wipperwill · Post by **Wipperwill** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:11 pm

Vedius Pollio wrote:
(stuff left out)

I reiterate

God help me

He helps those who help themselves.

Find a friend you REALLY trust.
Give them your money and ask them to just pay your bills. Keep the extra money away from you.

See if you can break the addiction.

GL Mate

-Wip

Vedius Pollio · Post by **Vedius Pollio** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:08 pm

Wipperwill wrote:
Vedius Pollio wrote:
(stuff left out)

I reiterate

God help me
He helps those who help themselves.

Find a friend you REALLY trust.
Give them your money and ask them to just pay your bills. Keep the extra money away from you.

See if you can break the addiction.

GL Mate

-Wip

It's more of a compulsion than an addiction. I can function perfectly well when I'm staying with my parents and I don't have any spending money. But the moment I have 130-160 dollars, it goes straight to the hookers.

But I'm lucky that I'm bad at math. If I was good at numbers, I'd have a gambling problem.

EDIT:

Your friend idea is excellent. I know a fairly puritan Anglican girl who can take care of my money very nicely. She has no strong sexual desires or expensive vices, although she is pansexual and she told me that one of her cousins is the neighborhood nose drop man somewhere in the rough part of East Melbourne. (The same cousin works for the Australian Tax Office as a repo man, apparently.) She is something of a dull goody two-shoes herself, and unlikely to spend a cent.

Trusting a friend beats "accepting a higher power" any day. Anyway, the only power higher than me is me at my best.

Churba · Post by **Churba** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 2:59 pm

Pretty much without internet till Monday - Keep the place tidy till I get back, wouldya?

Aeridus · Post by **Aeridus** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 6:24 pm

I confess that I have a penis.

Goddessmisca · Post by **Goddessmisca** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 8:01 pm

Aeridus wrote:I confess that I have a penis.

I confess that I like the penis

Heart · Post by **Heart** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:09 pm

Goddessmisca wrote:
Aeridus wrote:I confess that I have a penis.
I confess that I like the penis

It fires lasers, too.

Kittyboymuffin · Post by **Kittyboymuffin** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:32 pm

I confess that I once uploaded an image of the milkman from Psychonauts, accompanied by the text "I AM THE MILKMAN! MY MILK IS DELICIOUS!" in order to derail a thread of ugly-huge breasts.

I also confess that I'm on a "KittenPlay" board, and I'm just ... not feeling part of it. @.@

Aeridus · Post by **Aeridus** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 6:36 am

Gotta love the MilkMan.

Xero · Post by **Xero** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 9:06 am

Kittyboymuffin wrote:I confess that I once uploaded an image of the milkman from Psychonauts, accompanied by the text "I AM THE MILKMAN! MY MILK IS DELICIOUS!" in order to derail a thread of ugly-huge breasts.

I also confess that I'm on a "KittenPlay" board, and I'm just ... not feeling part of it. @.@

just wait for the 6month mark

I confess I can help you with that misca

Wipperwill · Post by **Wipperwill** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 9:21 am

I must confess, my first thought was "Is that a problem? Do you want her to stop liking the penis?" Because it sounded like you said "I can help you with that problem..." at first glance.

B5buddha · Post by **B5buddha** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 11:58 am

Aeridus wrote:*tentacle rapes the cryptic newb*

No really that cryptic, if you are into African gods.

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