Pirate vs. Ninja - Sex Edition

Azurecharade · Post by **Azurecharade** » Mon Jan 16, 2006 7:05 pm

Before I start, I realize I have just put myself and possibly Ghastly alongside the people on those searchlists.

Recently I had a sudden fancy to look me up some Pirate porn on Limewire. As soon as the idea struck i immediately decided to add Ninja porn to my search. Surely these two rivals would have equally rivaling porn! My results were not so optimistic.

My first search being pirate porn brought up an interesting result. "Private Pirate Extreme Desires". It sounded interesting. I double clicked to download. 672 MB downloading at 2kb/s. Whatever i'll leave i running. Maybe get a good chunk then cancel. Ninja sex had La Blue Girl in its search results. This well known anime porn DOES contain a ninja, but he's hardly the kind i'd enjoy watching having sex. I began to get disheartened.

I decided to check the possibility of pirate/ninja porn through Google. The first few Pirate porn pages were basicly gay porn. There was a costume sight, but no actual porn. Then there was a video sight. Guess what showed up again? "PPED" I decided to cancel the download back in Limewire. Ninja sex came with mixed results. The first few were guys on forums who thought they had "ninja sex skills". I ignored those. There was a link to hentai which showed "Kamyla". They were kindof ninjas. They had sex. I gave the point to Ninjas.

I decided to bring this little quest deep into the internet because i realize that Ghastly has seen this sore lacking in the net. Hooray for Zipper Ninja and Kunoichi Muchi-San.

HoneyNClover · Post by **HoneyNClover** » Mon Jan 16, 2006 8:42 pm

I had a conversation about ninja sex with one of my friends...the question was "What makes ninja sex, ninja sex? Simply having sex with a ninja, or there more to it than that?"

We decided ninja sex refers to this sexual phenomenon: "Like the ninja, slipping in silently, s/he completes her/his task with such speed and stealth it was like s/he was never there" xD

Azurecharade · Post by **Azurecharade** » Mon Jan 16, 2006 8:50 pm

Well, I'd hope that comes with being a ninja. Maybe leave a prayer strip or something cool. Or to be taken that way. Phew!

Kite-san · Post by **Kite-san** » Mon Jan 16, 2006 10:05 pm

EDIT: a pox upon thee, double-post gremlin thingummy.

Kite-san · Post by **Kite-san** » Mon Jan 16, 2006 10:06 pm

frequently the shelf they sit on gets joslted resulting in our Pirate Smurf vs. Ninja Smurf setup being left tumbled in lewd positions, does that count?

Azurecharade · Post by **Azurecharade** » Mon Jan 16, 2006 10:30 pm

Only if you say it twice...Oh, good!

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 7:42 am

I think true ninja sex would really HAVE to be with a ninja, or at least someone dressed as such.

This does open the door for some Romeo and Juliet style Ninja+Pirate love stories...

Alter alias · Post by **Alter alias** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 10:24 am

having made attempts to define ninja sex surely we must now attempt the same with pirate sex, all that comes to mind though is that it somehow involves booty.

edit: this may well be my lamest joke ever

Unholy · Post by **Unholy** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 11:00 am

alter alias wrote:this may well be the lamest joke ever

I'd like to disagree with you but...

ManaUser · Post by **ManaUser** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 11:23 am

It's not quite porn, but this picture is a running joke on another board I frequent. (May not be suitable for lesbians or young children.)

HoneyNClover · Post by **HoneyNClover** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 12:50 pm

alter alias wrote:having made attempts to define ninja sex surely we must now attempt the same with pirate sex, all that comes to mind though is that it somehow involves booty.

edit: this may well be my lamest joke ever

Ugh...I seem to remember someone saying the same thing to me once...except the idea was to "plunder their booty so hard they have to say 'Arrrgh!'"....

...ah the joys of highschool theater groups ><;;;

Moo Cow · Post by **Moo Cow** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:54 pm

Mmm, i need to find some more Pirates of the carribean porn... yay for Jack/Will!

ManaUser wrote:It's not quite porn, but this picture is a running joke on another board I frequent. (May not be suitable for lesbians or young children.)

Eeew you can see his penisssS!!!!!! (folks, it's not good to be able to see your genitals through your everyday clothes. Just a thought.)

~Sara

Lowky · Post by **Lowky** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 4:48 pm

Eeew you can see his penisssS!!!!!! (folks, it's not good to be able to see your genitals through your everyday clothes. Just a thought.)

~Sara

Unless of course you work as a prostitute/stripper.

Gible · Post by **Gible** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 4:52 pm

Moo Cow wrote:Eeew you can see his penisssS!!!!!! (folks, it's not good to be able to see your genitals through your everyday clothes. Just a thought.)

It isn't? Damn, I kinda like being able to do that, tho moreso with females.

Indigo Violent · Post by **Indigo Violent** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:16 pm

ManaUser wrote:It's not quite porn, but this picture is a running joke on another board I frequent. (May not be suitable for lesbians or young children.)

How informative. I did not previously know that pirates weren't allowed to wear underwear.

Gengar003 · Post by **Gengar003** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 10:30 pm

HoneyNClover wrote:We decided ninja sex refers to this sexual phenomenon: "Like the ninja, slipping in silently, s/he completes her/his task with such speed and stealth it was like s/he was never there" xD

Sounds like Orgasm Girl...

HoneyNClover · Post by **HoneyNClover** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 10:47 pm

Gengar003 wrote:
HoneyNClover wrote:We decided ninja sex refers to this sexual phenomenon: "Like the ninja, slipping in silently, s/he completes her/his task with such speed and stealth it was like s/he was never there" xD
Sounds like Orgasm Girl...

Hahaha! So I'm not the only one who has played that game xD

Azurecharade · Post by **Azurecharade** » Wed Jan 18, 2006 3:38 am

So we're comparing Ninjas to a game, h-game i assume, called Orgasm Girl. I KNEW this was the right forum for this topic.

Moo Cow · Post by **Moo Cow** » Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:12 am

Well, yes. Strippers are an exeption, as are exotic dancers, etcetera.

I suck at that game.

~Sara

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:54 am

HoneyNClover wrote:
Gengar003 wrote:
HoneyNClover wrote:We decided ninja sex refers to this sexual phenomenon: "Like the ninja, slipping in silently, s/he completes her/his task with such speed and stealth it was like s/he was never there" xD
Sounds like Orgasm Girl...
Hahaha! So I'm not the only one who has played that game xD

Naaa, it made its rounds on the board.. along with the site that gives you the secret to finishing the game in both modes.