In the Mushroom Kingdom [severely off topic]

Allan_ecker · Post by **Allan_ecker** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 9:46 pm

Because there just isn't enough way, way, off topic stuff lately, I though't I'd take a moment to tell a dark secret about the Mushroom Kingdom.

Peach looked down. "I wish it wasn't like this..."
Bowser sighed heavily. "Nobody'd stand for uniting the kingdoms and you know it."
"I know. And if they keep thinking you're actually kidnapping me there'll be open calls for war."
Bowser scraped his claws over his chin. "What we need really is someone to keep people thinking war isn't necessary. Someone who comes and 'rescues' you. Whenever."
A wry smile pulled at Peach's lips. "A patsy? My aren't we devious."
"It's why you love me, baby," said Bowser, grinning wickedly.

Oh come on, it's not like this isn't obviously true. The Koopalings are ALL HERS. That musta been painful. A'course, if one believes even writ one of that ghastly movie then she'd lay nice smooth eggs....

What?

Kesh · Post by **Kesh** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 4:38 am

Brain... trying to... claw its way out... of skull!

(Okay, so I've read worse. Still, I'm a visual thinker!

)

Alfador · Post by **Alfador** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 9:15 am

Kesh wrote:Brain... trying to... claw its way out... of skull!

(Okay, so I've read worse. Still, I'm a visual thinker! )

Oh, don't tell me you haven't thought of this before! I thought it was kinda obvious...

Hell, in the "New Super Mario Bros." game, it says in the instruction manual, and I quote: "Didn't Bowser Jr. once think Princess Peach might be his mother?"

Sounds to me like the tyke got wind of the political coverup and decided he wanted some mother-son time, so followed in his father's footsteps.

...No, not like that...wait, wait...okay, maybe like that. Heh, just pick whichever one creeps you out more.

Andrick · Post by **Andrick** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 10:55 am

Just in case you need a visual (Not Safe For Work).

Allan_ecker · Post by **Allan_ecker** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 4:55 pm

Alfador wrote:
Kesh wrote:Brain... trying to... claw its way out... of skull!

(Okay, so I've read worse. Still, I'm a visual thinker! )
Oh, don't tell me you haven't thought of this before! I thought it was kinda obvious...

I think the offending mental image was the idea of the Princess laying, what, seven eggs? Even if they were really small relative to standard baby sizes (like say Ostrich eggs) we're talking seriously freaky visuals, espeically if the Koopalings are all from the same clutch, which really the more I think about it makes less and less sense.

Cinni · Post by **Cinni** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 12:00 am

*reads*

*twitches*

*snickers*

*isn't sure whether to be turned on or fall over laughing*

Cinni

Fallwind · Post by **Fallwind** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 7:56 am

Allen, you are the evil

Allan_ecker · Post by **Allan_ecker** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 9:26 pm

Fallwind wrote:Allen, you are the evil

Ahhhthankyew.

Cyril_Dran · Post by **Cyril_Dran** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 10:04 pm

That's actually a story plot hook at the GameCheetz comic.

http://www.gamecheetz.com

I don't really feel like looking it up, but it's one of the subplots, except for her birthing the koopalings.. Although it does explain why Bowser kidnaps her every 3 seconds rather tidily.

Allan_ecker · Post by **Allan_ecker** » Fri Aug 25, 2006 8:07 am

Yes, well. I saw the Mario Brothers movie when it came out, and it was WEIRD.

In this one, the Princess hatched from an egg (everyone on her side of the wormhole did), the Bothers were literally named Mario Mario and Luigi Mario, and Toad was a street performer with an acoustic guitar.

Goombas were like a gazillion times more menacing, too.

The_Fox · Post by **The_Fox** » Fri Aug 25, 2006 8:33 am

I don't know if this is relevent, but it might tone down the weirdness of the SMB movie a LITTLE. In the game, the brothers are actually named Mario Mario and Luigi Mario as well. Go figure.

- Jarylan, who is happy to have a last name that is different from his first name.

Alfador · Post by **Alfador** » Fri Aug 25, 2006 9:31 am

Of course the Princess would lay smooth eggs. After all, the egg formation is controlled by the anatomy of the mother, not the DNA of the father so much.

TheBladeRoden · Post by **TheBladeRoden** » Fri Aug 25, 2006 1:26 pm

No wonder Mario never gets any, except in the flash movies.

GreatLimmick · Post by **GreatLimmick** » Fri Aug 25, 2006 4:22 pm

allan_ecker wrote:I think the offending mental image was the idea of the Princess laying, what, seven eggs?

And what prevents her from giving live birth? I mean, I'm sure the spikes aren't on their shells to begin with. They probably come in with age-- which would explain why different koopalings have different numbers of spikes, and none have as many as Bowser himself.

I'm not sure where they got this "Bowser Jr" stuff for the New SMB, though, since I seem to recall from the player's guide to Super Mario World that the Vanilla Dome boss was Morton Jr (from which I deduced, at the time, that Bowser was either a nickname or his middle name).

Micro_Fur · Post by **Micro_Fur** » Fri Aug 25, 2006 4:25 pm

TheBladeRoden wrote:No wonder Mario never gets any, except in the flash movies.

Are you refering to that 'can't help but stare' train wreck where Toadstool 'gives birth' to every popular game character concivable and then some? Because if you are I would have hung myslef too. Poor Mario, he never knew his girl was a whore.

Micro_fur - *dig dig dig* I know I have it here somewhere.

Andrick · Post by **Andrick** » Fri Aug 25, 2006 6:46 pm

Unless the princess was doing it for some financial gain then calling her a whore is off the mark. Don't you recall the joke about the differences between a slut, a whore, and a bitch? The slut will fuck anybody. The whore will fuck anybody for money. The bitch will fuck anybofy but you. If Mario knew, which do you think he'd choose to call her highness? Of course, there might be better reasons why Mario hasn't been paying attention.

E_voyager · Post by **E_voyager** » Fri Aug 25, 2006 10:06 pm

all vert scarey and prevet but i'vv seen it all before. i want some thing new but i can't draw.

Allan_ecker · Post by **Allan_ecker** » Thu Aug 31, 2006 10:26 pm

Andrick wrote:...Of course, there might be better reasons why Mario hasn't been paying attention.

Few things have filled me with as much idiotic glee as Mario saying "c'mere you" in that second VGCats ref.

It's all just so believable, cleanly played, and whimsical. VGCats is a great comic all around, but gems like that one (and this one) just make my week sometimes.

Allan_ecker · Post by **Allan_ecker** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 9:40 pm

GreatLimmick wrote:
allan_ecker wrote:I think the offending mental image was the idea of the Princess laying, what, seven eggs?
And what prevents her from giving live birth? I mean, I'm sure the spikes aren't on their shells to begin with. They probably come in with age-- which would explain why different koopalings have different numbers of spikes, and none have as many as Bowser himself.

I'm not sure where they got this "Bowser Jr" stuff for the New SMB, though, since I seem to recall from the player's guide to Super Mario World that the Vanilla Dome boss was Morton Jr (from which I deduced, at the time, that Bowser was either a nickname or his middle name).

TOPIC NECROMANCY

Actually it was Morton Koopa Jr, and it's a reference to Morton Downey Junior, which nobody who played these games (including yours truly) would get.

Bowser's probably a nickname, though, yeah.

Live births would probably work but they just wouldn't be consistent with the Turtle Idiom. Also the Koopalings in SMB3 all were roughly the same age as far as I know... There'd have to be some multiple births in there to get 7 without roughly that many years between 'em... hm..

GreatLimmick · Post by **GreatLimmick** » Wed Jul 04, 2007 9:38 am

I know it was Morton Koopa, Jr, but I didn't feel I needed to specify since they all apparently have the last name of "Koopa". As for having several years between them, there could be some Irish twins in there... On the other hand, while several of them have different numbers of spikes on their shells, several of them also have the same number of spikes on their shells.

I thought it would be interesting to have a game where the Koopalings were kidnapped and Bowser had to traverse seven worlds to rescue them. At first, he thinks it was Mario, but with each area he visits and each Koopaling he rescues, he gets clues that point him toward the real culprit (not really sure who that would be), and after rescuing them all, embarks on one final quest for revenge.