For absolutely no fathomable reason at all... [Rather Long]

Postby Proteus454 on Wed Jul 04, 2001 5:10 am

<I>You got your green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpybacked camels and deciduous trees,
Some bats and cats and animal fats as sure as you're born,
Now that's what I call a Pizza.<P>A-rovin', a-rovin', a-rovin', a-rovin',
I'm gonna go a-rovin', a-rovin', a-rovin',
A-rovin', a-rovin', it's going to be swell,
I have no idea what the hell it means but I hear that it pays well.<P>As I was walking through the woods one day,
I cam upon a swagman jollying on his way,
He said he was waltzing matilda to a billybong,
And he refused to speak English so I nailed him.<P>Lean to the left and lean to the right,
Flop on your belly and close your eyes tight,
Hop on your haunches and leap in the air,
It looks to me like that meal was too spicy.<P>A muscle-bound body builder kicks sand in my face.
I challenge him to a fight.
Later that day, upon regaining conciousness,
I realize how smart Ghandi was.<P>My Daddy was a poor sharecropper, he worked at the Stock Exchange.
We couldn't afford windows but we had a door that opened a few inches.
I remember the day he died.
He called me to his side.
And said "Who the hell are you?".
That was a disappointment.<P>Paddling up the river, as fast as we can go.
Three fat men in a stolen canoe,
Row you porkers row!
Paddling up the river with a police boat in pursuit,
We're still going up the river,
But now it's in a van with bars on the windows and virtually no creature comforts.<P>Jams and jellies and candies and sweets,
Nutmeg and easter egg and assorted meats,
Chcolates and macaroons and various unidentified treats,
I think it's time someone washed these sheets.<P>Wherever you go, I'm going with you.
Whatever you do, I'll do it too.
Whenever you move I'm moving with you.
'Cuz we've had an unfortunate accident involving a very powerful industrial glue.<P>My lawn is full of grubs.
That's a misnomer. Grubs.
In my opinion, they taste awful.<P>Listen to the words of this very special song.
Da da da da da da da da da da.
Listen very closely then you can sing along.
Da da da da da da da da da da.
Pay close attention it's not as easy as it sounds.
Da da da da synchronization da da da incremental da da da thermonuclear quantum physics.<P>The days are growing longer.
The nights are growing shorter.
Some of us think there may be a connection.<P>I shall never see a sky so blue.
I shall never see a cloud so white.
I shall never see another day like it.
Because I looked into the sun with binoculars.<P>River is deep and the river is wide,
What's it to ya.
I accidentally left my clothes on the other side,
What's it to ya.
Floated across in my birthday suit,
What's it to ya.
A huge falcon with razor-like claws saimed at my backside swooped down but missed me.
Allelujah.<P>Against the advice of your wife and all humans with sight, you put on your shorts.
As you arrive at the beach, the elastic waistband succumbs to pressure.
Your shorts roll down your knees, expsoing things that do not have a tan.
Nobody notices.
Except the police.
You are taken somewhere cooler.<P>Come on bus driver, speed up a little bit,
Speed up a little bit, speed up a little bit,
Come on bus driver, speed up a little bit,
The cops are gaining on us.<P>I love seeing lipstick in various shades.
From ruby red through pruple to that light pink stuff that Joey Heatherton wore in her earlier days.
The sight of painted lips makes my libido take action.
Mind you, when my uncle wore lipstick I would almost always have a completely different reaction.</I><P>Taaaaaa daaaaaaa!<P>------------------
Fold your hands, child, you walk like a pheasant.
Robin "Cor strufe blime stone a crow" Armstrong<P>"The Crow of Genius sometimes perches on the Branch of Madness."
- Elliot, "Bobbins"<P>The Philosophers Stone [The Eighth Sign ltd.] = <A HREF="" TARGET=_blank></A>
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Location: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada


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