Feb 19 VONKARR SMASH!!

The JAM · Post by **The JAM** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 8:54 pm

RICO SMASH!! He he, hilarious!! You think he's overcompensating for something?

Chaser617 · Post by **Chaser617** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 9:35 pm

Fred, back up, back WAAAAAAAAY the heck up and start lobing some arrows.... and pray you've got a chance to hit with a multi-shot....

Jaydub · Post by **Jaydub** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 10:40 pm

*ROFL* The big hulk smashs down the door, realizes that was a mistake and what does he say? "Oopsie!"

That's like something out of an ARNOLD SCHWARTSINAGER Spoof.

Madmoonie · Post by **Madmoonie** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 10:50 pm

TRE, BABY! TRE! WOOT!

EdBecerra · Post by **EdBecerra** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 1:52 am

I see "Vonkarr" studied at the Bruce Banner Academy of Dramatic Acting...

(outnumbered three to one. Ouchie. Even thought they're just goblins, that's STILL not good numbers for our intrepid heroes...)

Manta · Post by **Manta** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 3:07 am

And Chaser617 wins a cookie with, "WEll, if it was Rico da Barbarian, I have a feeling 'going through the gate' was quite litteral."

It's not a platoon of Orcs but I think the message is sent. Stick together, kids!

SolidusRaccoon · Post by **SolidusRaccoon** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 5:38 am

Bah, just toss a few grenades into the mix, problem solved.

Chaser617 · Post by **Chaser617** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 5:59 am

SolidusRaccoon wrote:Bah, just toss a few grenades into the mix, problem solved.

Small problem, the guys with the D&D equivelent of high explosives went another way....

Selden · Post by **Selden** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 6:05 am

Considering the DGR rule and how Vonkarr doesn't have a whole lot of visible equipment (or anywhere to hide stuff like wands of Fireball that he'd never think of anyways), I'm betting that his axe is something akin to the +5 flaming vorpal sword of wootness. Since any massive basher like Vonk is probably smart enough to take Power Attack and Cleave, I don't think the goblins are going to last very long if there are just the nine visible ones, especially with Fred shooting at them, and Combat Medic Merry can keep Vonk on his feet for several waves of goblins just by staying behind him and using healing spells. Out of the three groups we've seen so far, this one looks like it's got the best chance of getting through their initial hazard instead of freaking and running (the three stooges) or doing so little damage over time that they get captured before they accomplish anything (Penny). Of course, Lucy is going to be in even worse trouble if Maggie doesn't decide to follow her to the front gate instead of *cough* standing guard, which are the two voiced courses of action we haven't seen acted out yet.

Chaser617 · Post by **Chaser617** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 6:17 am

WEll, just remember, these goblins might not be the ones that die when you simply give them a little tap on the shoulder...

Selden · Post by **Selden** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 6:32 am

Aye, and you can also assume that Baron Stanislaus Hapsburg wasn't using any dry-rot eaten pieces of planking for the wooden door Vonkarr just destroyed with a single keep, either. At best, I can picture them taking two hits on average to die even if they're the level 3 sergeants listed as major defenders of goblin settlements. If Merry has managed to take 'several levels' in Combat Medic, Vonk has at least two attacks per round and a high enough strength modifier that he can be pretty sure he'll connect with both. Unless the skinning knives are actually getting taken out and have something like a 'cast Sleep on contact' enchantment, I just don't think that the goblins would have much chance at getting past Vonk to hit the other two. Of course, they are just the first wave of defenders in a fight certain to attract others...

If there'd been a fairy mage to follow Penny down the chimney and the three stooges were showing any sign of competence, all this would probably be making the baron pull defenses off the main entrance and giving Lucy a relatively clear shot at the throne room.

Chaser617 · Post by **Chaser617** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 6:41 am

Still, I admit that they're probably not in trouble, just, don't underestimate the Goblin....

Especially those being used as Balista guidence systems....

Jamestox · Post by **Jamestox** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 8:08 am

1000 quatloos that Rico da Barbarian takes at least 50% damage.

150 quatloos that the full party survives the encounter with the goblins.

2000 quatloos that Ralph throws us a heckuva curveball in the plot.

Capnregex · Post by **Capnregex** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 8:42 am

jamestox wrote:1000 quatloos that Rico da Barbarian takes at least 50% damage.

150 quatloos that the full party survives the encounter with the goblins.

2000 quatloos that Ralph throws us a heckuva curveball in the plot.

I'll not take that bet

SolidusRaccoon · Post by **SolidusRaccoon** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 9:10 am

jamestox wrote:1000 quatloos that Rico da Barbarian takes at least 50% damage.

150 quatloos that the full party survives the encounter with the goblins.

2000 quatloos that Ralph throws us a heckuva curveball in the plot.

Count me in, The Providers will cover for me.

LoneWolf23k · Post by **LoneWolf23k** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 12:20 pm

See, if it'd been my Barbarian, he'd have looked at the huge crowd of goblins...

...and grin, saying "Oh Boy, it's Party Time."

...Real Barbarians don't go "Uh Oh"...

Lou Leghorn · Post by **Lou Leghorn** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 3:56 pm

Fred wrote:"You mean you and the meatwall here are an item??"

Didn't Fred know that Rico and Merry were going together back when everyone was still working at the store? Or is he just asking this question 'In Character'.

LoneWolf23k wrote:...Real Barbarians don't go "Uh Oh"...

Of course they don't, and neither does Rico. He distinctly said...

Rico wrote:"Oopsie."

Grumpywolfhound · Post by **Grumpywolfhound** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 6:54 pm

Hello all, noob here but a long time RHjr fan. and no I will NOT feed solidus

I guess Im just an old softy, but am I the only one glad to see Merry and Rico still together? I figured by now his mouth would have ANOTHER malfunction that can only be reset by someone's fist

As far as the current mis-adventures, I wouldn't be too concerned about goblins. most of the time goblins are used as an "early warning" system to alert the REAL nasties... I'm hoping Ben will figure out a way to reunite the crew in time for the real threat

of course after teaching them a lesson for scattering like that in the first place

Chaser617 · Post by **Chaser617** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 8:58 pm

What is needed here is a Paladin in platemail.....

Werekitty · Post by **Werekitty** » Mon Feb 20, 2006 9:09 pm

Okay. They should be glad that those are goblins, and not the larger, more intelligent, and human sized HOBgoblins.

True, there could well be a lot of them, but they are small so they can't use any major weapons, like great swords. One just hopes that they don't have poison weapons... If so, our combat cleric had better have memorised a lot of "dispel poison" spells, and everybody is well equipped with antidotes. I've always found archers, of any species, annoying to the extreme, but none are visible, so far.

Any given barbarian starts out with the Rage feat, which grants temporary hit points, and attack bonuses. Weakens the defence, but that's why you max out the strength. If our intrepid barbarian has been given a ten-level boost, he'll have Improved Rage, Improved Cleave, Movement, and Uncanny Dodge, and quite possibly Improved Disarm and Knockdown. In my Neverwinter Nights game, at the 11th level the barbarian gets the ability to shrug off some amount of injury from each attack.

So if Rico's barbarian is anything like the one I just described, he's pretty well armed to go up against a courtyard full of goblins.

I'm guessing that Fred is a Ranger. First and foremost, if he's had a level boost, he'd have some spell casting ability. These would include a good defensive spell, like barkskin, call lightening, some healing spells, and particularly useful spells called entangle, grease, and summon creature. He may also have the ability to polymorph himself into a stronger creature, should it come to close combat.
His biggest asset would be his abilities with the bow. If he has rapid shot, called shot, and specialty arrows, he should be able to take out the enemies that are farther away, and any archers the goblins have lurking about.

Merry, our cleric, will be the support, occasionally braining an unwary goblin that Rico misses. She would have useful divine spells like Bless, Divine Might, Aid, Divine Favor, any number of enhancement spells like Bull's Strength, and Cat's Grace, any number if dispellation spells, and loads of healing spells. In addition to the aiding and healing spells, clerics do have all manner of offensive spells, like Flame Strike, Summon Creature, Harm, Earthquake, and Fire Storm.

So... They might do quite well... Unless they're the type of goblins that respawn...

Oh, and yes, I am a girl. I like playing RPG computer and video games.
I've never had the opportunity to play pencil and paper, because I've never had any friends who enjoyed those kinds of games, locally, that I could play with.